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funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 15:31
Hi. I've got a problem.

Lately I've become friends with this guy who is 17, he's 18 months older than me. But of course, stupid me starts liking him as more than a friend Anyway, last friday, I went to his house, cos he lives sorta near me compared to my other friends, and we.. I dunno... I ended up in his bed with him watching James Bond films.

So, anyway, I was talking to him online last night, and he was a little drunk, and he was flirting with me more than usual. Anyway, he's been saying for a while that he likes me, and he wants to have some fun.. no strings attached.... if you get me.

This wouldn't matter, except he has a girlfriend. Things aren't going well between them, they're on a break, but he said that if things don't work out by February 1st then he'll dump her and go out with me

I'm kinda worried because her 16th birthday is at the end of january, and he wants to have sex with her on her birthday. I can't help thinking he means that if he doesn't get sex by then he'll dump her and go out with me... I'm not 16 till June, and I really don't feel ready for sex anyway. Also, I don't know if i wanna be his 'rebound' relationship...

Having said all this, I would really like a relationship, and I do like him, but right now I have no idea what to do

Oh, and my best friend fancies his best friend, and his best friend's younger sister fancies him, and I know his best friend's younger sister, and I don't think she'd ever talk to me again if I went out with him, even though she is three years younger than him.

My best friends who might help me are all in places far away like Florida and India and I don't have anyone I can talk to. And I moderate an advice forum but a guy I used to like goes there sometimes, and it's not altogether a helpful place. So I thought I could post here.

So, should I:
1. Wait and see what's happened by february?
2. Move on and find someone else (which is what I spend my whole life doing, but I guess it would solve this)
3. Go for the 'no strings attached' thing he wants (which really wouldn't help relations between him and his girlfriend)
4. Scream!

Or anything else anyone can think of.... really need help!! Thanks
18 comments
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 15:48
Depends what you want sweetie!

If you want to be the rebound and just have sex with him then by all means go for it! There's a perfect invite right there. He is prolly dumping his gf cuz she won't put out, especially right after her birthday, the jerk. So he'll be looking for some, and if you want it then go for it. Just make sure to be safe. That day after pill ain't ready yet.

Although it better be some good sex cuz of who you're losing by doing it. In the long run you might lose some self-respect cuz it seems you'll be losing a bud, p*ssing off an ex, and probably not making your friends see you in the best light. But change happens.

Personally? The guy seems sex-crazed. You're there, his gf isn't, simple solution. On top of that he said no strings attached so it'll work out to get booty and keep looking for more because you're technically not dating or anything serious. Just physical messing around. I know you like him, it happens. You have to like a lot of jerks to find that one that'll treat you good and mean it.

I'm a lil short on time til my lunch break but I say don't bother unless you totally realize what you're doing: Chosing sex over friends.

Not like it matters much, but if I ever met a girl that did something like he wants you to, I wouldn't date her. I couldn't bring myself to be with someone who did something like that.

I hope you get this figured out soon. And if you want more advice I'll be on later! *gives you the thumbs up*

~edited by moderator~
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 15:50
Oops, forgot something.

You're 15 and he's 18. Normally I don't care about age when it comes to dating, but if it's pure booty call I think you should find someone a little closer to your own age. Just my opinion.
funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 15:55
Hey, thank you

Before he started talking about the no-strings-attached thing, when I was at his house, he didn't make a move as such, because he didn't know I liked him.

Age different bothers me a little, but he's not that experienced. I'm not at all experienced though, and I want a relationship with a sweet guy. Yeah, I guess he is quite sex crazed, and he's a bit too old for me. I think I'm just getting desperate Thanks, Maxx, dude. I think I'll just be friends with him, because I feel like enough of a b***h because he has a girlfriend, and I don't wanna be his rebound, and I definitely don't want sex just yet.

Thanks so much
ice_white_tiger
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i think you should keep on doing no.4 constantly til february, see what he does, if he acts like a complete jerk just because he didnt get any, then move on...
ice_white_tiger
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* offtopic :
hehe, worst piece of advice ever!
the_locust
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the_locust | 15:58
I don't think you should do anything until he does something, he could be trying to use you and if you let him he could hurt you. Maybe wait until he makes the first move and see what it is, if it's one to just use you, maybe he's not worth it but if you feel he's the right guy, go for it. Meh, I don't know, just my opinion, good luck it, hope whatever happens for the best. Oh, and I agree with Icey, if he shows he's just an idiot, move on, you could do better than him.
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 16:08
Careful with the friends part girl. You might get to liking him more and then.....well it'll be good friends with benefits. And he'll get what he wants.

But above all else, have fun! *winks*
funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 16:33
Thanks for the advice, everyone. Getting lots of different input has been extremely helpful. I think I'm going to sit back and see what happens. This guy is nice, and I kinda trust him, but he is too sex-driven.

Heh.. maybe I should scream *screams* but doing nothing is more my style... I'm the lazy type. So, I'll see what happens about this I'm prepared to pull him without going out with him, even though I've never pulled but anyhow... I don't wanna go further than that while he has a girlfriend. He said he'll never pressure me into doing anything I don't want to, but I can't help thinking I'd be better to find someone better.
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 17:44
Pull him? I don't think I've ever heard of that before...lol.

Well I'm glad that we could help ya come to a conclusion! *hugs*

* offtopic :
This is my 500th post! Whee! Now I can use those darn smileys again. Even though they're jerks.
funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 19:05
Pull = english slang for kissing with tongues...

*hugs* thanks Max
funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 19:05
Happy 500th - I forgot to say!!

SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 01:21
*blush*

Oooh...kissing. I was thinking something else that gets pulled.
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 01:21
and thanks for the congrats
radiate86
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radiate86 | 05:03
I didn't read everyone elses posts, so I don't know what advice they gave, but...

Having said all this, I would really like a relationship, and I do like him, but right now I have no idea what to do

There's your problem. You want a relationship, therefore, you're more vunerable to guys who you necessarily wouldn't go out with. He may have feelings for you, but you'd still be his rebound relationship, therefore, you would never really know how he feels.

I say wait...a while after he breaks up with her, if he does. Or move on.
funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 21:48
Well, I don't know what's happening anymore.

He apologised loads for what he said. He said he feels really bad about it.

He said he was drunk and didn't mean all of what he said. He didn't say what exactly he did or didn't mean... Never mind. We weren't talking at all yesterday, but I'm going to hope things go back to how they were, just being friends, that's all I want. I can move on - I've done it so many times before

Thanks for the advice... The thing is, I may have a chance in the future, but it's not definite. Stupid boy (just the one, note)
SerenaVenus
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SerenaVenus | 00:38
whats with this deadline...February 1st??
DaRkSiDe
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DaRkSiDe | 00:52
If you want a relationship with him go for it, but tell him that you are not ready for the position of having sex... If he likes you he shouldn't be using you as a toy either... Do what you like, but if you decide to go out with him, make sure you set it straight with him...
funkyseaweed
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funkyseaweed | 13:19
Ok: Update:

Last night he said he loves me, but he's still got this girlfriend To complicate things, he's in Scotland, which isn't too far away, so we can talk on the phone and text, which we have been doing a lot.

He hasn't seen his girlfriend in a while and is basically trying to ignore the problem. I know it's not a good thing to bring up, but it doesn't feel right to be one of two girlfriends. He said his girlfriend has been using him, and doesn't like him anyway, but I still think he should talk to her. We're back to school next week, and we definitely will see a lot of each other. I guess I love him too, and I want this relationship, even if it doesn't work out...

And he keeps talking about the Future. I have a sorta fear of it, because I have no idea what I wanna do with my life. But there he is, talking about what he wants to call our kids

Anyway, I don't know what exactly I need advice on this time... I guess time will sort this... Just thought I'd update.
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