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dontlookback
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dontlookback | 23:26
I've been going out with this guy for 2-3 months and I like him a lot, don't get me wrong. He says he is head over heels for me and I guess I believe him. The thing is, before him, I never really hooked up with guys and flirted and all this stuff. I just recently started to like this other guy, and I want to flirt with him and possibly hook up, but I know I shouldn't, and of course I won't while I have a boyfriend. I think I want a break to see what I want, a serious relationship, or just to be able to do what I want and be with my friends. I still like this kid a lot, but I don't know what to do. I could never break up with him and if I did I wouldn't want to lose him, I would just want to make sure I wanted to spend highschool in a serious realtionship with him.

I need advice about what to do. I don't want to hurt him so I can't bring myself to break it off with him, or ask for a break. Helpppp
12 comments
Rass
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Rass | 23:29
haven't you posted this before?
xoloxTawnixolox
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omgg im in the same boat...majorly weird...someone help her so i can be helped = p
Rass
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Rass | 23:39
wait! wait! didn't you post this already?! or am i having major deja vu to the extent that it should be chalked up as premonition shiiiiiiiiat
Rass
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Rass | 23:42
nevermind, you have, and i posted there, so here i'll just C/P


you want to see what you really want and such, go to the guy you are with right now and you tell him pretty much everything you already told us, explain to him that you feel like you need to have a break from a relationship and find out what you want and how serious you are about him and such, if he really cares he'll be okay with it and wait around for you, though probably not forever, but if you go on a break with the guy you're with and hook up with the one that you're flirting with things might go downhill, jealousy and such, competition, you have to talk to the guy you're with though so he understands whats going on with you, why and everything
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 23:55
So let's see if I understand this. You have a boyfriend that you like and he's the first that you've really flirted or hooked up with before. Then there's another guy you have feelings for that you might wanna hook up with and be flirty. The problem is that you don't know what you want, a serious relationship or a fling. And furthermore you don't want to lose your boyfriend as a friend?

On the bright side of things you're not willing to cheat on your bf to find out what you want. The high school relationship doesn't always last, you can date for 3 years and suddenly it's over when high school is done. Or you could end up engaged at your senior prom. Both of which I've seen and it's not pretty. It's wonderful to have someone though high school to be with you and share experiences with and know when you're feeling down you have someone you can trust to rely on and have a shoulder to cry on if you need it.

On the other hand you have another kid you like. Wether or not it's a fling it'll still put your relationship with your current bf at an end and might even upset him to the point that he doesn't even want to talk to you anymore. Then you can move on to this new kid fully.

Flings are nice, I've had my fair share and then some. I don't talk to the girls that I did stuff with and they don't talk to me. The feeling that "this" was it and nothing more would come of it was clearly explained. But that's just it, there was nothing more to come of it and eventually that bothered me that I couldn't find someone I could become attached to, it was all just a new high here and here, nothing real stable.

You'll have to evaluate if you can drop the feelings for this other boy or act on them altogether. Being in a relationship and liking someone else can cause stress and it can show. If you can't stop liking this other person I suggest you drop who you're dating now and go for it. You might not be able to return to the guy you're dating now, but if he finds out you like someoene else you might end up without him anyhow and the other guy might find someone else by then. You need to find out what you want. If you can't do that you might lose everything.

If I was you I'd go for the new guy. But that's me and everyone needs something different. Some people do plan on marrying their high school sweetheart, and do it. Others see high school as a time to experiment.

All in all you live once. You're bound to make mistakes and wonder the "what ifs" of life. Just make sure you learn lessons, and don't take regrets.

Oh, and if you ever decide to flip a coin, in the literal sense, to decide about a relationship....don't tell them. It'll p*ss them off a ton, trust me.

I'm done rambling. Good luck with whatever you do and be happy!!
dontlookback
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dontlookback | 00:02
Yes, I have posted here but I was looking for a song then and I wanted advice this time, and thank you so much you've helped but.. it's not as easy as you say, I don't want to hurt this kid at all. What if i do realize I want a serious realationship and want to be with him? It scares me to think that it could be over.
Rass
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Rass | 00:03
no, thats why you talk to him first, tell him what you feel
SomeCallMeMaxx
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SomeCallMeMaxx | 00:14
...and hope he doesn't flip out about it.

If you know what you want then by all means do it. If you want to be with this kid then try and space yourself away from the other guy you have feelings for, cuz like I said it might cause stress in the relationship.
Rass
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Rass | 00:17
yeah, i would still talk to the guy you're with, i dont see why he would flip out if you say it the right way, dont start the conversation off with "i think i wanna try being with someone else"
tilly_570
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tilly_570 | 06:42
or you could just explain that u want a little break from the relationship... that way things dont completely end... see other people for awhile and if it doesn't work then maybe it'll help you and yur bf realize that you really are meant for each other
loser_kid_71
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loser_kid_71 | 06:47
i don't know...
Kill him

no just a joke
vandy
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vandy | 07:09
no long advice, just a rule of thumb.

A) Don't ever cheat on someone.
B) Don't ever allow someone to cheat on their significant other with you
C) Don't be tolerant of anyone cheating on you.

It will make your life a lot simpler.
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