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Guinness1759
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Guinness1759 | 23-06-2003 08:06
Hi!
I don't know if ther's already a thread about this, but I know you all are very creative and artistic, and I know some of you write poems.
Well, basicly her's where you post your poems (or someone else's) and hope your friends could give you comments about them.

I'll srart then. This is a poem I wrote a while ago and I really wanted to shear it with someone. I had to translate it from hebrew though, so it might not sound as good.

Self Portrait
--------------
You,
look in the miror
you see you didn't shave this morning, you
see the eyes
that refuses to open.
a dream is forgotten
something inside of you tells you
to look at you again.
a coulpe of hopes you once had,
drown with the teeth-brushing water
making it's way in the sewage's maze.

You stop watching.
after all, you
know what your face look like.
you know each wrinkle and each scar
and you can tell the story of
each one and one.
the thoughts are running within you
and you
shake them, wipe them, depart of them.

You are alive.
nothing more.
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littlechicky
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littlechicky | 23-06-2003 22:58
Mine was a little prologue of a mystery story thang for school.

"There lies the secrets of the caretakers,
Who seem to be afraid,
Of the secrets lie untold,
in that howlng attic grave."

I know, it's bizarre, but i luv it!
happygymnast
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happygymnast | 23-06-2003 23:17
If only, if only
He cared I was there
Love wouldn't hurt,
And life would be fair.
If only, if only,
He felt how I feel.
He told me the truth,
The pain wasn't real.
If only, if only,
He saw me for me.
He liked who I am,
And what I could be.
If only, if only
He realized what hides,
Deep in my soul,
Far inside,
A frightened girl,
Whos life is a game.
And just wants him
To feel the same.
But he never will,
She'll always be lonely.
But she's still waiting,
If only, if only.

Who cares if it sucks? I get bored around here...
Guinness1759
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Guinness1759 | 23-06-2003 23:24
O.K- this is another one of mine, just 'cause Karin asked. (and I just can't say no to ppl I love)

----------
No. It's not over
it's just in a deep,
shallow, freeze.

Under the icy crust
a storm is raging
anchors are pulling my down
stablize me on a swing.

And once in a thousand years
or a day
the ice melts
the cables detach
and your face cross my way.
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 00:31
happygymnast, i super liked you poem.... it didnt suck... it's one of the best i read in this thread
happygymnast
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happygymnast | 24-06-2003 02:14
thanks
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 02:21
no problem... come on other people.... post more poems
happygymnast
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happygymnast | 24-06-2003 02:52
Here's one....(it's supposed to be in slang, thats what gives it its character )




Well, friend, I'll tell you
Life for me ain't been no clear blue sky
It's had it's gray,
Its black,
And its clouds,
And a lightning' strike or two,

Scared.
But all the time
I'se been lookin' up
And buyin' umbrellas
And shovelin' snow
And sometimes not stayin' too dry
Where there ain't no towels.
So, friend, don't you be scared.
Don't you look down now
'Cause you find it's kinder hard.
Don't you hide now---
For I'se still livin' friend,
I'se still lookin' up
And life for me ain't been no clear blue sky
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 03:00
that was... different.... ive never read anyone type I'se so many times.... so ur poem was unique
iluvraine
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iluvraine | 24-06-2003 03:02
For You

All night
Staring at my wall
Thinking of what I could've done
To keep you by my side

But now your gone
I don't know what to do
With myself, I'm crying
A part of me just died

The past is in-existant
But I keep on wishing
That I can feel your hand against mine
I know I can't
Change what happened between us
But I'm lookin' forward to the future

I love
The way you looked at me
How you made me feel so high
But now you don't know me

I can't live now
With the thought of you gone
And not here beside me
I hope your happy now that you're free

The past is in-existant
But I keep on wishing
That I can feel your hand against mine
I know I can't
Change what happened between us
But I'm lookin' forward to the future

The past is in-existant
But I keep on wishing
That I can feel your hand against mine
I know I can't
Change what happened between us
But I'm lookin' forward to the future



(Unknown)
Do you like, watching me bleed
You pulled me into this pool of lies and death
I'm drowning, and your standing there
You stare into my eyes when I run out of breath

You know, you can save me
But I know, you'll be waiting there
Like another face in the crowd
I've taken all I can bear
All, I can bear

Would you like, to watch me die
Choke for my life, hearing me scream
Watch my body sink to the bottom
Just like the rest of my dreams

You know, you can save me
But I know, you'll be waiting there
Like another face in the crowd
I've taken all I can bear
All, all...

Your stuck inside your head
Stuck inside the cell of your mind
Your pacing will do you no good

You know, you can save me
But I know, you'll be waiting there
Just like another face in the crowd
I've taken all I can bear.

happygymnast
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happygymnast | 24-06-2003 03:06
that was really good! great job!!

crazy- i had to do it for school, and they made us right it like that..i've never talked like that before, or wrote like that before...dom't worry!
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 03:11
ive read those before... and i know i sound like im into everything everyones posted... but this is definatly the best
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 03:13
oh ok, and happygymnast... call me Jill.... thats what my friedns call me....
happygymnast
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happygymnast | 24-06-2003 03:22
okay, call me natasha
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 03:23
can i call u nat?
Dream27
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Dream27 | 24-06-2003 03:37
I wrote this... i was bored. I haven't seen it till today so i did and felt like sharing. I need to revise it though... i think.


~~~~Can you~~~~

Can you not see the smile that peirces your eyes,
The laugh that wonders through the air and sneeks in your ear?
Anf the gentel touch that caresses you skin,
The smell of her hair and her body, layed over yours...
Aura of joy and childness fills the room.
Can you feel her body against yours, calling your name.
Feel the silly acts you two make.
Can you hear yourself telling her you love her?
Can You?
happygymnast
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happygymnast | 24-06-2003 03:54
o0o0o.....i like that!


sure jill
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 03:57
thanks nat.... lol
happygymnast
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happygymnast | 24-06-2003 03:59
here's my last one i'll post....go U.S.A!!!!



United We Stand

United we stand, divided we fall.
Outside we're different, inside we're all
The same type of people, sad and crying
Tears flowing watching our country dying.
You turn on the T.V. you see war,
Nothing is quite the same as before.
You hear about men fighting for us..
Why are they doing this? Why must?
We have to fight just to be free.
Oh, one day, those people will see.
Just because of the difference of age or race
Or of you eye color or shape of your face
Doesn't mean we're all different inside
We all have feelings, we all want to hide.
I learned something seeing the world today
No matter what we're still the U.S.A
And no matter what other people demand,
Divided we fall, united we stand.
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 06:38
that was very patriotic... I myself am Canadian so I guess to be as patriotic I should write something about beer, doughnuts(and its spelt that way here, while in the USA its Donuts) and hockey... but i dont have the brain power to do it
Guinness1759
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Guinness1759 | 24-06-2003 09:07
I realll like your poems too natasha, I think they are very real.
Dekar
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Dekar | 24-06-2003 12:15
Hey Crazy! I wrote this one just for you.


Hockey
Beer
Doughnuts
Canada!


What do you think of it?
cRaZy_T
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cRaZy_T | 24-06-2003 12:18
Dekar, that touched my heart... I mean the way you put stree on doughnuts.... i think im gonna cry... it was just so... so.... enthusiastic... 10points my friend, that poem is a perfect 10
Guinness1759
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Guinness1759 | 24-06-2003 12:19
O.K. here's a task for you-
Write a patriotic poem about...uhm...let's say....
Zambiya! (the country with the funnyest name)
Snowdrop
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Snowdrop | 24-06-2003 12:58
Hey Yochai, thanks for posting another one, you're so sweet! it's so great!!!
now they're so many great poems here, you're all so very talented!!!!
Dekar
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Dekar | 24-06-2003 13:00
Zambiya's a country
And a funny word too
I'd be willing to bet
They don't even wear shoes

I doubt there's electricity
Computers, or laptops
I'd think that a luxury
Would be to have flip-flops

No barbeque grills
No ice machines
No backyard pools
No dirty magazines

No televisions sets
Or drinks that fizz
I'd never visit, but that's okay
I don't even know where it is
convidado
convidado
SAIR SALVE salvando ...
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