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vandy
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vandy | 30-01-2006 16:20
I'm not exactly sure why this thread is different, why y'all let me be the one to make a second thread, but I do appreciate it . This thread is my baby, the first How Are You Doing marks the first thread of mine that made it long enough to be closed .

Anyway, you know how it goes. Post in here if you're happy, sad, angry, mediocre...just...how are you doing?

The first thread was made over 2 years ago when I was friends with a guy named Ben. It saw me through that whole friendship. It saw me through my move to college, making tons of new friends and having a great time, I've probably got at least one drunk post in there, it saw me through a bad relationship and an eating disorder, and the glory I shined in as I left both behind.

I will stop babbling and now dedicate the second chapter to Matt, Celeste, and Carole who've seen me through it all, since the beginning of that thread and before, and continue to be my friends now.
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Olivia_Ka
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Olivia_Ka | 06-08-2020 13:41
The dark days, at least those from mid-June, are left behind for good, but today I cannot sleep. The explosion in Beirut on Tuesday (August 4) may be the cause of my sleeplessness (and that's not a terrorist attack) and I wore a black dress yesterday to show my support for victims. I felt cold on top of my back, then on my feet as I got up. Next heatwave will happen tomorrow so I have enough supply of drinks for a few days.

I missed you, Martin. Why did I forget about you after I heard the 9pm news on Tuesday?

These days I don't dare doing much, being rather pushed than led. There were so many upcoming cancellations or endings that came without any warning this Tuesday, and that embarrasses me because the same happened last year. (TV show cancellations were another problem I faced 20 years ago, one that lasted 1 month/half didn't air again after summer holiday in 2000.) Last month, the fireworks for Bastille Day (July 14) didn't happen. This time it's both a YT channel that had interesting music podcasts last year and 2 sites, not music-related this time, that have been removed.
Even if we don't often work as a pair, my coworker Jules would be surprised to read I trusted my heart and competed for silver instead of gold last month - being proud of my efforts. When I have played games for almost a full night, I feel tired but don't show it straight away. I know I can find either coincidence or premonition, but whether the issue is good or bad, I leave it to augurs - and have believed in good one for a long time. (Like yesterday evening) Wow, I still trust in visual memory too, either with people names or faces. Ah... Any male voice that mesmerizes me...

Today, I have dreamed about listening to 7-inches that looked like they could be edible - since the playable side were sort of brown and appeared like wafer from ice cream cones, not the labels that were in another color, with no indication on both sides. And putting any of the 3 records on 45 RPM would play some music I would instantly recognize... Who remembers Jean-Louis Pick, Aram and Boris Santeff? All 3 released an LP each some 40 years ago, named Paroles & Musique - I don't have any of them in my cupboard. I remember them all from one of my mum's black cassette (both labels have gone by the time). If in my dream, each artist had its wafer-coloured 7-inch, I wonder what would be on the other side of Boris' one, since I only know Regarde Ma Ville from my mum's cassette. Well, I've told her about all that 3 years ago, but she doesn't remember any of them, neither the 3 male singer-songwriters, nor where she got the 7 songs (4, 2, 1 respectively) from. I'm not the most vinylophile of the family, you know, but having a look at some French LPs fascinate me.

That said, I think I've been too much into making lists on another music site. That's much better than hearing people talking on the phone or watching television all afternoon, as my dad does. How relaxing not to have the Euro 2020, the Tour de France in July and even the Tokyo Olympic Games this summer! I need a lot of silence and calm, although I don't plan on meditating this month.

Feeling is bitter as I'm drinking my first cup of tea of the day. Shyness is my major problem, had that as a 12/13-year old but it accentuated between 2014 and 2019, and has not changed much for a few months. And I've been hearing continuous ringing (left ear mostly) for a week, despite not having used earphones for a week or so. Plus, I don't dare going outside that much, only if I'm being briefed beforehand, last time was on July 27.

Supporting Beirut since Tuesday night. I haven't been there, but what an ache. One last thing : I don't write poems nor lyrics on demand and I don't feel much inspired today.

Ciao compagnia.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 28-08-2020 10:45
August 28. Heard the news yesterday and felt disappointed by the current situation here. Ouch! That means being locked again for days, but not exaggerately. But I'm back to meditation since Monday (August 24) and that helps a lot. Two words came to me : "good luck" on Monday and "you too" yesterday. "Good luck" to Mr. Vianney Bureau who'll join The Voice season 10 as a jury member, and "you too" to one or more guys, as in "you too, you've been tricked by the sample or cover original" - even though those 2 words sound like the name of a band from Ireland.

I'm in love with a guy since earlier this month, but not a musician this time. Even though I consider myself as a lyricist and a singer inspired by a lot of male ones, being in love with a musician is not what I'd like these days. I went to sleep earlier, around 2/3am, with the male name "Nash" on my lips. Normally I pronounce the name "Martin" but this time I had to memorise the guy's name and that's Nash - this one's an American musician so he's not my love interest. But I haven't made official this relationship yet, I don't dare approaching him. If I were with him now, I would ask him not to leave as I wake up.

I dreamed this morning. What happened in it?
We were outside, both sitting at separate tables (not close), I had almost finished my drink, and I was spying a blonde woman, who had a black suitcase and sat there vaping. I saw her leaving the place only to get back in the restaurant (I don't know why) and when she disappeared from my view, I stood up, took her belongings and ran away. Back home, I open the case.
- The vape of course, even though it had no charger. Clearomizer at 1/4 full so I could use it.
- Colour photos, a few ones had notes on post-it above. That blonde woman probably was a smoker in the past because one of the photos showed 5 or so packs of cigarettes, different brands, and on the far right, a packet of rolling tobacco that was hers. The other photos showed dogs, too few with men.
- A portable camera with objective - my father had one. This one would be of no use because I've already got a digital one. No doubts the aforementioned photos were printed after the "shooting session".
- Large paper sheets with proofs that she had subscribed to Internet television or sth. (Sorry, I cannot disclose her name)
- A 45, 7-inch single. Well, I don't remember the artist.
Lighting and using the vape was my main interest. The puffs I took had no effect at first but the exhaled vapor smelled very, very nice to bear. Don't remember what liquid would be used - a plain one or a flowery one. I would be such a novice in vaping that I would turn it off unexpectedly at every puff. The effects of vaping would induce me more self-confidence and less fear...
Then I woke up. Rainy late morning. Sore throat since Monday, but no fever. Would I like to try vaping someday? I don't know yet. Careful, gentlemen, you say that vaping is less dangerous than smoking, that's my point of doubt. Keep your Marl Gold and black-paper slims (not cigarillos) to yourselves, guys - because of them, my voice would sound lower, such as a deep baritone voice.

I hate when windows are open at night, that would cause me to sneeze when I'm back in my room. So I have to wear socks and long-sleeved shirts again, and a scarf round my neck, sooner or later.

The middle of the month went well. If I told you I've found "the sample of the sample of the sample", would you trust me? That was on July 14. Almost happy, I was waiting for the sample chain to be fully complete when I got some bad news this Monday at 11:15pm. Now that's what I call "believing in misinterpretations", they did it, far from the sample chain I actually figured... So no thanks yet and I'll have to wait again. I spent the whole week (had some blues from Monday to yesterday) trying to believe that their affirmation is clearly wrong again.

I know I know, regrets are next to me again. And on television, the story repeats itself : one less TV channel that I didn't even watch! Pour me a drink and then I'll be alone tonight. Good luck if you work from home, I do it too. Now time to relax a little before the weekend kicks off.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 21-10-2020 21:52
The week may have started badly, my parents went to a neighbour's funeral today and to crown it all, the cat got sick on my bed. He's better now... Sometime between 3pm and 4pm, all 3 of us got in the living room to have a drink, I wanted to sing in front of my parents like I did last year, but I finally didn't (not because of accentuated shyness, I must admit) - I told them that the sad news that happened before the weekend impacted me so much that I cried in bed 2 days ago, and that was the real reason (mourning day) why I did not sing anything this time. I feared that another history teacher would be savagely killed at the end of the week, if the story repeated itself. I think I learned my lesson, although my dad's tachycardia from last year wasn't caused by my singing at all! They understood my decision and I opened the gifts on the table.

- incense sticks (although I still have 5 tubes of them on my desk, full or almost - this gift had no wrap)
- pink wool slippers
- sweets à la Dragibus and rolls (not the well-known liquorice ones, but with the same design - other gift that had no wrap)
- a cork purse with a light, sunny, flowery illustration
- a cat-shaped thermometer, one of those you pin on the wall (I already have one but that doesn't have a cat shape)
- and a box of Quality Street. Well, well, this was neither my birthday nor Christmas but no one here could resist those sweets!

Since I asked for nothing particular, I got no book, no hat and no scarf either, but I was pleased with the few gifts I've had today. I remember having told my parents I had ten scarves and ten sunglasses too, but haven't told them how many incense stick tubes or cat thermometers I had... First week of November will be a very busy one.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 11-12-2020 01:02
Dreamy, sensitive, sentimental and shy, but not in love since it ended last September, not frustrated or ashamed either. I've got the feeling that someone is watching me, so I keep on wearing my dad's old pair of shades for the night (add to the fact that my bedroom light, behind, is a strong one). They said that those who live at night don't see the day. No mint sweets ODs yet.

I'm beginning to have some local reputation in my district! 3 months ago, on September 4, I won a contest on the radio, and it happened that a guy who works at the chemist's on the other side of the street was listening to the radio, too, but in his car! He heard my name (and the city I am from) among the 10 winners, and when my mum went to the chemist's a few days after, the guy (Jean-Baptiste, who hasn't seen me yet) told her about that and asked her if I was her daughter! And that's the case!

I've spent the last 2 weeks (until December 6) wearing black clothes, after the anniversary of my maternal grandmother's funeral.

What happened on Monday morning (December 7)? It felt like history repeating since a former French President died last week, but this time, I had less grief and mourning than in October last year.
6:30am, I was distracted and about to go to sleep, and then... Fell into (it's crazy) poetry and lyrics again. Sentimental relapse isn't such an easy thing when the wind (force 4) turns in your favour, after last year's premonition. Satie's First Gymnopédie was playing as I read the signs and followed them. Well, if you knew what "worthy of recognition" meant, that's those beautiful lyrics from my midnight snacks (not 'snakes'), that I sing from time to time, with or without "online audience", after intense writing. This month, my "midnight snacks" look like an Advent calendar and I missed a day, last week.
- My heart, yes, can't make me stand still, it was beating hard and fast but has somewhat calmed down
- Going to sleep wasn't easy because a song review came to mind, that I wrote it at 11am, and going back to bed afterwards
- I missed a chat with my 2 coworkers Jules and 'La Diabolique' on Monday night because of that (both have such inspiration deep in their hearts and souls, they just go ahead and don't look behind)
- I drink a lot but don't eat much, by dint of drinking in such beautiful lyrics! The more I drink flavoured water, the more words come drip by drip
- I've spent the Tuesday/Wednesday night writing my own thoughts anywhere (letting exploding words, even many friends' suggestions, such as "by dint of..." and "like no other", even Italian words such as un giorno d'aprile and the German word außergewöhnlich)
- and the following night investigating on my 2 coworkers (he's been her best friend for 20 years, they know each other a lot, but don't tell anyone else what they hide in each other's secret gardens!)
- To crown it all, I wasn't the only one distracted to start the week because my dad, who was on his comp, let a pan with food burn for the second time in about 2 months!

...And because of the last 2 nights I've spent, I am now sitting in front of my comp with tea and sunglasses because my eyes are tired! Here I am, feeling wind gone to force 9 (not for real, in my reverie), regretting instead of forgetting, but avoiding my favourite ex at the same time - playing on both good feelings and memories, but this time, no memories of a post-breakup depression with intense suffering, only how it felt to be in love with a guy and making me smile, but right now, how to love, I wonder why I'll never know. I need to recover from this sentimental relapse, that makes me feel slouchy again. Dark blue has been my clothes' colour for a year so I feel blue, too.

Not letting any hope fade, I wish I hadn't cried at all, but here I am on this paragraph. *Sniff* Well, this accentuated shyness won't go since I have wrecked twice in a week! Yesterday afternoon, one has been aware of one of my midnight snacks (that's actually the 12/13-minute diptych, the only one I perform at candlelight) that I sing alone in front of my desktop computer, although not recording them because I'm not a technician. And this is true, I haven't been used to sing in front of a small audience yet, with 2 musicians behind, making the trio with a lead vocalist and the bass/piano, bass/guitar and guitar/piano alternating formulas - even spicing my arrangement with soundalike melodies from other songs. And I don't even consider as a YT addict, for watching yes but not for recording.

* Drinking my mint tea that's gone cold, tears drying *

Not much to say about my parents right now. My mum had surgery for a breast infection on November 20, but the results came on Monday and showed nothing bad. I had absolutely no worries for her health in the meantime.

Although so many men I admire and who touched my soul in different ways haven't been my boyfriends, why can't I find the strength to work in the middle of the night, and drown in some music and words, purposely not theirs, instead? I don't blame them for such distraction, not even a "she wants a guy" thought. I guess I've said, done and thought too much in 4 days, so I'll go and have a clementine, that's my 1am snack for tonight. I'll spend the day in my own way.
Olivia_Ka
1
Olivia_Ka | 13-12-2020 03:22
I have the feeling that I've been too curious about my coworkers afyer I missed Monday's chat, and that someone is spying at me. Slipping from Hermès to hermetic, why why why? Got the feeling that, in my team, anyone who tried to quit cigarettes/alcohol/weed/mushrooms amongst the last 6 weeks has failed. And though I don't use any of them, I slept so very badly that I spent a lot of the afternoon talking alone in bed. I wish I had Jules' help, but I'm afraid the detective isn't here for now.

Some investigation popped on Thursday morning. But tonight it's getting more complicated. Ugh, I can feel spirits sitting above my furniture, the smell of vanilla has attracted them I guess. Uh, wait a minute, my coworker's name hasn't been unveiled on purpose. Who can the 43-year-old be, either Théo or Jules, the mysterious men? Both are known to cure anyone's problems in my world, and women have different thoughts on them.

Uh oh, I guess I've found a scarf lying in a drawer. If I stole a scarf, when was it? I don't remember. If that's my coworker's (I've been more or less used to both of them for years, and each one is heterosexual/married), it has some faded perfume on it. Or at least was it either of their respective son's' scarf? Well I haven't met any of the 10-ish-olds in person, how strange. I don't remember having put this white and blue scarf around my neck until my 1am snack a few minutes ago.

No, I won't tell Jules : first of all, he is taller than me, responsible, intelligent and calm, as I deffo have been too for a few years, he isn't shy but understands why I am. He tried hypnosis, but not telling what for, but failed because he didn't have the heart. Both of us appreciate his blondish lookalike, named Clark. Jules is a very occasional drinker, but not a regular smoker (depending of the circumstances, sure avoids it in front of his son). As he did in Monday's chat, unlike Théo, he blocks anyone from reading his mind while he's able to read theirs, I remember having called to his service in 2007/2008 in exchange of (he asked them to me) mint chewing gums. He wears glasses to prevent me from looking into his greenish brown eyes (...so it's the snake) and if I knock at his door, he'll think I'm completely nervous : I remained silent after this Thursday, got the feeling (neither positive nor negative judging the couple isn't jealous of me and vice versa) he would quit smoking cigarettes (despite having 5 a day) and/or overdrinking coke and/or wearing slim black pants, unless he lied not to hurt me because of his seriousness. He must be sleepy right now and I can't have broken into his house to get this scarf a few years ago. If he went into rehab (he didn't for quitting weed at 29), his wife would have warned me. Wondering if either my friend, his son or his 33-year-old pupil Marlon, turned into a "bonafide" badass in my back! How can I read his mind when he's gone in a gust of wind?

Being either the detective or the suspect, having a thought for each other's wife and son. Good luck to all 4 of them. Got my head turned around. I'm waiting for Jules' positive sign if he does come back. It ain't a miss, it ain't a hit, begin to switch and turn the light around. (I'll keep my sunglasses tonight since I'm ashamed of having broken into your secret garden)

Anyway, Alea Jacta Schnitz! I looked kinda nervous while performing my 1am snack 2 hours ago, Toi Et Moi - Paradis rearranged à la Going Back To My Roots - Richie Havens, all this while wearing a black and white striped dress, shoulder-length hair badly tied behind, my dad's big yellow sunglasses and the aforementioned white and blue scarf in front of a candlelit-backed desktop computer. Most of the time, I regret instead of forgetting.

Well, my curiousness has pushed me into The Unknown part of both Jules and Théo (who was not at the chat), and the places I've been to years ago with the former would get me out of control. (Sorry Butch, Andy, Helen and most of all, Martin, but I have to stop playing the song after 5 listens in the same week) But wait a minute... I won't let it the worries right into my brain. Neither Jules nor Théo get the same instructions as I do - they do pop the "bad boy" bubble that omen make stand over their heads.

...No way, I'll keep the scarf for myself. It mustn't be Théo's or Jules' actually. Just finding a forgotten scarf I didn't remember of in my drawer. And put the meditative Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley because Jules used to play it on guitar and sing many, many years ago, when we weren't even friends.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 13-01-2021 10:18
Please don't care anymore about the post above, I faced intellectual overworking in mid-December. I worried too much about my coworker, Jules actually had nothing to worry about but I was missing him that weekend, last month. (He quit smoking in 2017, weed in 2004 and is a very occasional drinker). So he hasn't told me what he quit at the end of last year, drinking Cherry Coke or wearing black slim pants - he kept it to himself. All right. No worries, his wife and son are fine too. Hats off, you're a hero.

And that white and blue scarf... I didn't steal it from Jules nor from Théo or some guy I worked with back between 2012 and 2018 - any of those guys are probably not in the same region anymore. I may have bought it between 2014 and 2016, actually, but I didn't remember having put it in a drawer instead of my bedroom cupboard.

So I'm putting the pen to paper today, it's 10am and after a week of ups and downs, seems like the downside is taking off. All the lights went to green on January 4 and 8, now it seems they went to red.
Must say it's the first time someone gets wrong in a pizza delivery. You know, we don't plan on eating at the restaurant due to COVID-19 restrictions, so my mum has to call the pizzeria and my dad has to fetch both pizzas (because the pizzeria doesn't have home delivery workers), the only thing is that he cannot check the inside of pizza boxes between the moment he picks them up to pay and the moment he gets out of the car, with the oven ready to warm them. Usually, we drink to someone or to something when we have the Sunday evening pizza, I decided we didn't because of an error. And we have no option of taking it back before 8pm, we have to eat it, full stop.
So : we had ordered a raclette pizza for me (without ham but with Mozza Di Bufala topping instead) and a quattro stagioni one for my parents. And there were 2 customers waiting for their order after dad (I wasn't with him).
Last Sunday's dinner, around 7pm, was actually a full mess throughout, I told my mum the pizza wasn't mine while she said so. I showed her it had no Mozza Di Bufala topping but it was a normal raclette pizza - the one with ham! Never been a big fan of ham on pizzas IMO. Their quattro stagioni pizza had a Mozza topping and they agreed to give me some (of the topping, not a slice of theirs) - even though removing the ham from my raclette one took muuuuuch time, so the "eating-under-hypnosis" feeling I normally have wasn't there. Excel did not complain when I put the pieces of ham in a plate for him, lucky cat! And it took me a lot of time to rinse that cooled-down pizza taste from my mouth after I got angry during the dinner.
I remember trying either Pizza Hut or Domino's last summer or in 2019 (sorry I've forgotten), anyway it was during summer holiday in late July, and had to remove mushroom on my slice of the pizza they bought on the way (they did not notice it had mushroom in it).

And what the hell, I don't need anyone to remain by my side when I wake up, I can get up without anybody's help. I'm searching for extraordinary powers, like having been up that Monday (January 11) at 7:30pm, watching TV and not in bed ----------------- howcanIdoitwithoutrecurringtoreplayhow?
I wish I were the guy who could stop anything and anyone, freezing all the scene for an hour or two, back in 1995. But I was underage then... And this guy wasn't showing around, so why did I come home two hours after instead of watching the end of the movie they showed at school - but I had to leave before the end because of a weekly appointment?

Shame. Shame on you. Shame on Brexit. Shame on Flash Player that stopped functioning for good yesterday. Not on my bona fide coworkers.
PracticePractic
1
PracticePractic | 13-01-2021 10:39
Excellent explanation for everything !

when I put the pieces of ham in a plate for him, lucky cat!


Yes, one happy cat!

I understand now your flavors of Pizza from local place....please! Please???? Ask dad to ASK pizza guy to open box before sealing with tape so DAD can check if HAM on the pizza and have it REMADE right away instead of being upset, or angry or anything to do about food! ITS FOOD! THEY CAN RECOOK OR RE MAKE IT OVER before 8 pm, so its fresh and HOT and just the way you like it!

Ok, I see, I understand much better now. Forget about Pizza Hut (sorry Carl!) and Dominos.... My fav place anyway is a local guy, which does NOT deliver! Not even in Pandemic!....so no Pizza for me since January 2020! Pizza Hut closed down, Another one too...more complex story than you even posted above. The other Pizza Hut is delivery able, but too far away, it comes cold... or least it did when there was MORE traffic...so I stay with my local guy....and he does Pizza ANY WAY I like it and charges whatever size / topping number the pizza is as he knows me and is nice that way...

Recommendation? Get to know your local pizza guy!

Best to Jules and Carl and anyone else there who works with you....be they safe from COVID and have happy lives.

Thanks for the names of pizzas!
NOW I can cook the raclette pizza for myself!
From South of France recipe!

[[[What did you use to rinse the cold pizza taste out of your mouth?
Recipe said:
Tip: carbonated drinks will make the cheese solidify in the stomach way faster.

I didn't know! NO More fizzy drinks WITH my pizza from now on!!!!]]]
Olivia_Ka
1
Olivia_Ka | 14-01-2021 04:11
Actually, Practice, wait a minute.Um, did I say my mum could not distinguish easily there was ham on my raclette pizza? She did not notice it, I had to show her before putting it in the oven. Whereas their quattro stagioni had no extra Mozza topping, since it's part of the recipe.

We had no problem at the pizzeria until last Sunday - we've been used to it since October 2019. I blamed my father for having forgotten the note with the order written on it - he said he knew it by heart... So at 7pm, as he went to take both boxes, the pizzaiolo showed him his order, without giving any precision (so somebody else must have got the raclette without ham). The boxes aren't sealed, the problem is that there's no place at the restaurant to check if the content inside is the right one of not. So dad took both boxes without verifying the content, since he couldn't do that. Guess the pizzaiolo did the mistake, and not my dad. if I had known it was a wrong raclette one, I'd probably have slept more and cooked my own dinner instead.

And probably no option to take the wrong one back before 8pm. Curfew rules, you know. For now, I guess I'll have to forget about that!
PracticePractic
2
PracticePractic | 14-01-2021 08:22
Its so nice Céline, when I know more, then actions are made abundantly clear as to why they happen! 100% makes perfect sense now!
Broauve
1
Broauve | 24-01-2021 18:52
Just going crazy a bit but it's okay
kalsonberry
1
kalsonberry | 25-01-2021 15:02
^ Hey, welcome to the forum!
Qarco
3
Qarco | 14-02-2021 22:14
Hi to all guys, awesome forum
bbbonbon01
1
bbbonbon01 | 19-04-2021 15:21
listen my brother's music
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 22-04-2021 12:48
So I'm having a bad time at benevolent work on other music sites. Last January, my account got suspended because of overworking in 2 days, and 2 days ago, on another site, mine got suspended because of useless/incorrect data made to their database whereas I always think of doing my best. All I have to do is wait patiently until my accounts work again. They take me for a beginner but I'm more an expert... Haven't had this punishment since March 2018.

Plus I need my coworkers' help today so any of them can find me rare promo versions of songs that were aired on radios but not put on CDs, but I faced another one in Jules' service who told me that Jules wasn't there - neither at his place nor to answer me. He promised me... And I cannot think of anyone fairly helpful for this task.

So what's next? Last time I worked that hard was on Sunday and I have no problems to sleep afterwards. I even heard the birds all the time since last week... No, I'm not alluding to Twitter, I really hear them even though I don't see many birds around - and I don't even hear the pigeons who sometimes (auto-censored 4-letter word) on top of balcony cupboards!

Funny to have a virtual spring break in mid-April, and that was last week, so I 'virtually' played beach volley and frisbee until the Saturday dancing. (And my favourite ex-boyfriend just thanked me for sending a birthday message to him, earlier this month : not a surprise) But I feel like my soul froze, not wanting to do much today. Mr. Excel had a front tooth removed last week (allegedly due to his age, not gonna reveal it) - that didn't prevent him from eating. And he sleeps well, too.

And please don't talk of Islamist koalas to me! That's a phrase I heard in a dream... And that disturbed me, not going to explain why.

All I have is calling the Late Music Academy, with music for the late-nighters, but not now. It's only 2:45pm where I live, so I'll get back to it later. Anyway, I've had more downs than ups since the spring break ended a few days ago.

Not ready to start the weekend yet. S'ya later.
ATESGUNES
1
ATESGUNES | 28-04-2021 09:10
Hellos to Qarco and Bonbon, nice to see you here.
But if we listen his music, can you tell us who is he? Please dear Bonbon promote him to find us, because there are lots of artists exists here.
Thanks for reading.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 13-06-2021 01:06
Feeling somewhat trying to catch the wind and lacking some recognition and critical reception, so much that I got my old poems published in the Poem Corner. The spirit of failure wouldn't let me down... Oh boy, I'm trying to overcome that shyness more and more after undergoing disappointment in any genre. If I write a song review on another site than LSI, it either gets rejected or redacted by the editors and I understand them, what a shame.

Yesterday (June 12), Jules my coworker was supposed to go to a record fair today but he didn't (only because he was working) - if he does, he will tell me what records he'd get. What can I say? Although he's between extrovert and introvert, his personality is so hermetic that you wouldn't understand him most of the time - sometimes he'd encourage me but I'd like to rely on his pupil and leave him alone. Busy guy. (IMHO I think he's been attracted by Indian culture for a month, that's why I'm drinking Darjeeling tea right now.)

It's getting hot in here, still a few cold nights and I'm sleeping by intermittence. (From 4pm to almost 11pm yesterday) That is, at times I work too much that I wait too long before deciding to eat anything, I've been lowering on salty food for a few weeks. The week hasn't been that fruitful, my father got a new toaster for his birthday and the day before, I suffered from heavy stomach pain that it took me much time before I could go to sleep. Now, I'm not in love, mourning for something instead of someone, and aching (because of curiousness). Yes I know, I haven't taken enough time to meditate since Monday afternoon, gonna take some more tonight - and yes, I find some peace of mind because of that.

The balcony has been painted almost 2 weeks ago, I must be careful because it's slippy and wear sunglasses because the sunlight hits the white paint. I feel alone, no one to comfort me, I missed a few things and only noticed them on Thursday and Friday. Time to go back into reflexion.
Olivia_Ka
1
Olivia_Ka | 13-07-2021 11:45
6 months have passed since I wrote some of the posts above. I should have known Jules right from reading his notes regularly, seems like he's edited a few posts from before 2019 in the meantime (as if he wrote them with chalk and erased some parts long time after). We are not disconnected anyway, and there's no betrayal from his side. So there's magnetism from one part and hermeticism from another, I must know this situation, so I have to stop totally worrying about him, no matter how I do, no matter what he does. (I lost 2 in a bet against his son, with his wife backing their son's bet, not gonna tell you more.) Oh boy, I had too much curiousity in December (and so, had trouble sleeping), I may not get whipped for that. OK J and K, I wouldn't even disturb you nor your respective families.

So many questions are hitting my head. I spent last week playing games but had too little time to think about what to do this week. I keep linking the elements together. Why pondering on an activity away from home, with a small group, about photography? I would have liked to photograph places or things back in January 2014, but I had laryingitis during 2 weeks and so I stopped thinking about it. Unfortunately, now, I don't have the heart for enrolling in that activity, just because mine (heart) needs time to rest after a frenetic Monday.

Last Saturday (July 10), in a dream, I got a vision of some composer (let's call him Harry) asking for some lyricists, but if this opportunity came to me, I would turn down Harry's offer. Because I've been mad about Harry during 3 years, but that was some long-distance love, not gonna tell you more. I would only write 3 or 4 songs if he proposed me, not the whole album. But for now, until he asks me, I turn down the offer and will have no regrets after.

I feel cold, hyperskeptical and doubtful - and it's Tuesday. Having the first of my 2 cups of Darjeeling tea after the aforementioned bet I lost today. Sometimes betting gets me weak. This Tuesday is somewhat peculiar because I mourn the loss of a real hero. Real heroes are not actors, comedians, singers or writers, but surgeons or dentists. (Yes, they are) Of course, there are singers sent on humanitary missions in underdeveloped countries, but neither do I pretend they are saints, not do I turn them into baddies.

Self-hypnosis helped me sleep well last week. Since mid-April, I keep hearing birds chirping in both my ears. I might get my coworkers' hidden messages through my heart instead of my mind and body. Hope you on LSI like my poems, I get a few likes, wonder if I'll post other poems anytime soon - some lines being rewritten to sound correct.

Yesterday I've been told that I'm both creative and intelligent - I agree with her. Oh by the way - no bell peppers for lunch. I am still not used to them yet. Still have to grow mentally IMO. Tomorrow night, I'll watch fireworks from my bedroom window. S'ya later.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 07-10-2021 21:19
I wish October would mean the best of times, but it doesn't actually. Tiredness, not watching TV so much, purposely avoiding my exes and caring for the cat.

Mum and Dad celebrated their wedding anniversary last month and got a new portable phone each at this occasion.

So I'm in the middle of hesitation and have too many questions. Choosing gifts for a special day this month (October 21), but I don't have many ideas. Trying new pizzas but I'm still shy with a few of them. Wondering if I should change my Rocktober album selection (20 rock albums maximum) after getting too many suggestions, instead of sticking to the one I almost completed on August 9. Why did such Tenchcnet's nice comment on YT disappear from view 2 years after I liked it? Are those sweets for me? Can I eat them? And so on...

Well, not going to tell my parents' age but my father has undergone surgery (not for his heart but urinary, if I can say, this time) and has been in hospital for a week now. The news has come that he has to undergo surgery again tomorrow after bladder bledding, so my mother is very busy (she goes to see him every afternoon). Yesterday, she even turned the phone speaker on so he could talk to Excel, and because of that, he (the cat) probably looked more than surprised to hear dad's voice, and is looking for the "missing person". I do talk to my dad on the phone every day, too, so I'm thinking of him a lot and hopes that he feels better.

Not really hungry tonight, and thinking that one of my friends (not a close one from France, I must admit he's from the UK) has lost a friend recently makes me understand why I wore black clothes until today. I was mourning with him. Besides, he's offered a new job and I'm so happy for him.

And I've stopped hiding my eyes behind sunglasses for a few days. Means the sun doesn't hit my computer screen. If I sleep at least 7 hours a day/night, I'll feel fine. Time to move on.
ATESGUNES
1
ATESGUNES | 11-10-2021 13:20
Actually I'm fine today, weather is cold and Sunset time is near. Winter reasons, nobody can change weather forecast.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 22-10-2021 00:12
So what? Disappointed by the mid-October surroundings despite beautiful colours in the trees, going from red to pink, orange to yellow. Hypnosis has worked on Wednesday but for a short period of time.

This week had a lot of disappointments. Earlier this month, I was not interested by Nobel prizes nor the Festival Lumière (film festival). Some dark blue clothes may show my mood ATM. A little heartbroken, and bluesy too.
First, my monthly referent that I've seen for 8 years, since October 2013, will retire early next year, and she doesn't know her successor yet. That's what she told me in the middle of our Monday (October 18) interview. I wasn't a shy person in front of her, I must admit. Even though I have a limited professional cursus, all I could tell her was about working on different sites, and a few of my other interests too. I knew her retirement would happen but had no precise date, as she only knew about it after our mid-September interview. Actually, according to her, I have found my "life balance"... Either working as a contributor on different sites or publishing my poetry IMO.
Next was early in the morning this Tuesday (October 19). My father was admitted to hospital again, after spending one week at home, and I've been told his issue (blood clot in bladder) is common after the surgery he had earlier this month. Another family member has this problem too but I haven't been warned beforehand. And to celebrate that special day yesterday, I had my dad on the phone, he felt so sorry and frustrated he couldn't be with us to celebrate it. I've heard he would leave the hospital later today.
Finally, yesterday, and I have to get used to promotional offers for click n collect things... They don't work if I use the site, only if I use the app - but I don't have the right phone for app downloads. My mother (I could use hers, she agreed to) said that the aforementioned app is faulty, according to some users, and she hasn't downloaded it yet - and she's already getting enough of those QR codes anytime, anywhere. I only use my phone either to listen to the radio, or to phone, or to take selfies. Mum and dad have more complicated and modern phones, so they can download apps, but I don't trust in them yet. The promotional offer condition is very badly explained on their site and doesn't seem to work as a free, standalone online order. Shame. I felt like the loser after I promised my mum I would offer her lunch before opening the gifts for the "special day". My Saint Day.

And I have opened them afterwards, no hat or scarf this time (I'm used to both). So I have 2 sets of colouring pens, 4 biros with cats on them, dark chocolate with nougat and milk chocolate with hazelnuts (I like them), and some sweets that I've tasted last year, but would even taste better when dipped into milk. Well, I've been told that colouring mandalas would be part of meditation, but I still don't feel like colouring them.
Plus, I'm half-motivated for playing games today. Jules gave me some support and I trust him like I've done for 2 years. Going on holiday next week? No thanks, I'll spend it at home and I would like to be alone for a while. Even though I've done my first trip to Paris exactly 30 years ago, while my dad was still working - that's the subject of one of my poems I wrote in April this year. The second time I went to the French capital was in mid-September 2007. And not this year...

I'm exposing too many of my thoughts, that I've let my cup of tea cool down so I've downed a cold one an hour ago (it was 1am). The music on the radio would make me feel better tonight. So bye for now.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 14-12-2021 06:59
I think I've had too much curiousness for 2 days or so, last time it happened was in mid-December. So he's a man, must be a fortysomething, he drinks tea, he has a job, he has children, married probably, but most of all, I'm interested in him every time I look at his few photos or his many Tweets... But for friendship or so, not for a real couple relationship like I had with Matie B. 20 years ago, and he (my ex-fiancé) hasn't written to me since last spring. Been looking for someone's profile on Insta (and found one) 2 days ago on Sunday, and because of so many homonyms (some of them appear as hermetic), social networks can be kinda tricky. I try my best to get rid of this shyness so I can manage to tell them sth. - and that's what I feel like dreaming of for 2 days now. I have to stop searching profiles on Instagram, and move on. (Compare searching profiles on it to turning the pages of a picture book, published by some unknown photographer about a man or his homonyms, where you might not always recognize your "interest".)
I just cannot tell more about my love life since I've had no boyfriend for 10 years, the ones I've had from 2004 to 2011 could not replace my ex-fiancé and... Um... Dealing with homonyms on social networks looks kinda strange. I'd like to hide away and stop dreaming about it. See I'm an investigator, but not, not... A police inspector. So don't try to help me looking for that man and leave me alone. (Only 300 characters available for each other's calling cards and that's not enough.)

Looking for some recognition, for poetry readers. Gonna post the translation of another poem I wrote 2 years ago in the corner, and that can be tricky too to translate them from French to English.

Sad I cannot declare my working hours on LSI everytime I have to fill a form every 3 months.

Any news of my dad? He came home after 4 hospital stays on November 22 and he doesn't have bladder bleeding anymore. (He had prostate surgery in early October, and got revealed later that was not a cancerous one.)

And I miss 3 pizzas I liked that aren't proposed at my fave restaurant anymore, so I have to try new toppings and check their flavour.

Finally, Excel has fleas again so his/our sheets and cushions must be washed... Disturbing.
ATESGUNES
1
ATESGUNES | 14-12-2021 17:31
I'm doing like a lazy man for long days. Christmas babies and statue have arrived in İstanbul. Now I'm preparing their pictures and I hope I will share them on İnternet.

Weather is colding, some days are sunny but rainy days have to arrive, because we need water. May be lots of people doesn't know that twentyfivemillion people live in İstanbul and Kocaeli provinces.

May be we continue to write in this topic later.
Vinnisse
2
Vinnisse | 11-01-2022 11:46
Much better now
roxcyn
2
roxcyn | 11-01-2022 16:21
Doing ok.
Olivia_Ka
0
Olivia_Ka | 12-01-2022 21:43
Turning off my emotions after what I witnessed last night.

It was 1:30am, I was at home, sitting at my desk when I got disturbed by a strong smell of burnt. I first suspected my lamp by the bed, so I turned it off and unplugged it. Then, I suspected my computer of overheating, so I turned it off and unplugged it too. I felt like my eyes were stinging so I left my bedroom and went over the flat to see where the smell came from. I opened the kitchen window and saw a lot of smoke coming from another flat below, in another block on the left, more than 20 meters away from mine. The firetrucks were already on the spot, so I closed the window and witnessed everything from the living room, until 4:15am. Firemen came and went into the flat but I couldn't see them clearly, and by 3am they were putting things down on a terrace, close to the flat where the smoke came from.

I got some information from my parents, who went to investigate early in the morning, after the firemen had left. I already knew that the fire only took place in a flat from a block close to ours, but no cause had been revealed. Because of that strong smell that went away in the morning, I craved some margarita pizza after going to bed.

Then tonight, I woke up (I slept during the afternoon) around 6:25pm, with my heart beating fast, doubting the fire may have been caused by a burning cigarette. May be the consequence of the smoke I accidentally inhaled the night before. So I called my dad for more information... My mum confirmed the news too. What happened last night must have been like that : a couple lived in the flat, one probably fell asleep under the effect of alcohol or drugs, without putting his cigarette out - and the other, who was in another bedroom, had to wake up and call the firemen, who arrived at about 1:30am. Both occupants were evacuated and relocated to a nearby hotel : later that night, there were neither dead nor injured people, but only a lot of material damage.

And I caught a cold after I came to view, from my balcony, the things the firemen had dumped on the terrace below. Still have a bit of stinging in my eyes. That's why I'm wearing warmer clothes and drinking tea now.

Happy New Year 2022!
convidado
convidado
SAIR SALVE salvando ...
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