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The Greatest Jokes
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| read 394 reaction(s) |
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@ 18-02-2003 20:43 ice_white_tiger | 
14,467 posts
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Right, the title says it all.
Just post a joke that you think other people will find funny.
- Try not to have too many 1-liners, but have a few
- Dont have the pathetic stuff like 'Why did the chicken cross the road' unless it has a hilarious catch to it.
- Have some sotry kinda ones in there.
Right,
LETS GET READY TO JOKE!!! |
| Showing posts 376-394 of 394 | Page 16 of 16 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 03-12-2005 02:32 50_Centz_Gurl_ | 128 posts
| > > A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices the
very
> > > handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
> > >
> > > She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to
> > > ask you, but I don't want to offend you"
> > >
> > > She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as
I
> > > am and
> > > have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear
>just
> > > about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or
ask
>that I
> > > would find offensive."
> > >
> > > "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
> > >
> > > She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that, number
> > > one, you have to be single and number two, you must be Catholic."
> > >
> > > The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and
>Catholic!
> > >
> > > "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
> > >
> > > The nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker
>blush.
> > > But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
> > >
> > > "My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"
> > >
> > > "Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess: I'm
> > > married and I'm Jewish." !
> > >
> > > The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
> > > Halloween party
| | 0 @ 28-01-2006 03:53 ToBeAnnounced | 122 posts
| A little girl from Texas was outside with her father and she saw two spiders mating.
"Daddy," she says, "what are those spiders doing?"
"They're mating, honey," the father replies.
"Oh." Says the little girl. "What's that one called?" she asks, pointing to the one on top.
"Well, it's a daddy longlegs."
"Is that other one a mommy longlegs?"
"No, that's a daddy longlegs, too."
and the little girl promptly stomp on the two spiders, killing them.
"What'd you do that for, honey?" the father asks. "Well" said the little girl "they may allow that behavior in California, but here in Texas we don't stand for that crap" | | 0 @ 05-02-2006 00:20 DUFSEN | 1,044 posts
| A guy is walking along the beach, when he meets a girl with no legs, crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been hugged," she says. The guy hugs her, but she continues crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been kissed," she says. The guy kisses her, but she continues crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been f*cked," she says. The guy picks her up and throws her into the water.
"There," he says. "You're f*cked now!." | | 0 @ 28-04-2006 13:34 SteveHuh | 53 posts
| Okay a teacher in religion class asks a girl who is our savior, the boy behind her pokes her with a pencil in the behind and she screams JESUS CHRIST the teacher was impressed and says good, the teacher asks again who is his son? The boy pokes the girl again and she screams GOOD LORD , the teacher was impressed again and said okay now what did eve say to adam after they had they had their babies? The boy behind the girl pokes her again for a third time, the girl gets mad and says, IF U SHOVE THAT THING UP MY BUTT ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA BREAK IT!!!
and the teacher of course was mad and the girl was sent to the principles office. LOL  | | 0 @ 28-04-2006 14:04 DUFSEN | 1,044 posts
| lol, a variation of that joke is on the first page...
 | | 0 @ 28-04-2006 15:11 Gate_Kepper | 785 posts
| A teacher asked the class to use the word contagious in a sentence. A boy stood up and said "my dad was walking with me to the park and we saw a man painting a shed, then he said its going to take that cunt ages to finish that"
Made me laugh anyway
AND
What did the bicsuit say when he mate got crushed? CRUMS!! HAHAHAHAHAHGAHA....
no
| | 0 @ 28-04-2006 15:15 slim_gary | 7,286 posts
| why did the gilr fall of her bike??
because someone threw a fridge at her. | 0 @ 28-04-2006 15:17 TheAnnoyance | 
44,299 posts
| gary 
* offtopic :
*cough*
| | 0 @ 06-09-2006 17:17 TurkishDelightt | 437 posts
| A person is fishing. there is a "no fishing" sign behind him. a policeman comes up to him.
fisherman: good morning officer
policeman: mm - hih
fisherman: nice morning isnt it?
policeman: mm - hih (long wait) what are you doing?
fisherman: oh this? im just teaching my wor how to swim! =) | | 0 @ 12-09-2006 14:13 Silent_Sentinel | 123 posts
| Vin Diesel once impaled over thirty horses to make what he calls an "authentic" merry-go-round.
Dairy Queen was Dairy King until Vin Diesel made it his bitch.
Gotta love those Vin Diesel facts... | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 12:10 kimbara | 23 posts
| A visitor was being shown round the asylum by a nurse, he asked the nurse "how do you determine if somone is mad enough to be admitted", the nurse says " we fill a bath with water and give the candidate a bucket, a cup and a spoon", the visitor says "Oh I see, the normal ones use the bucket because it is bigger than the cup or the spoon" "No" says the nurse, "the normal ones pull the plug out", " Do you want an inside room?, or one with a view" | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 12:13 kimbara | 23 posts
| What did the grape say when it was run over by a road roller???
Nothing, it just gave out a little "wine" | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 12:24 kimbara | 23 posts
| TO ALL YOU "RACISTS" OUT THERE :- "IRISH JOKE"
Paddy & murphy, (both blind drunk) were staggering along the railway tracks, Paddy says "B'Jeasus would yous look at the feckin' stairs in this place", Murphy replies "It's not the feckin' stairs that get me, it's the feckin' low hand rails!!" | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 12:30 kimbara | 23 posts
| Is God a man or a woman ?????
God is a woman of course, who else would be bitchy enough to put male genitalia in such a vunerable position outside the body, AND at the same time give women multiple orgasms!!!! | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 12:38 kimbara | 23 posts
| Why does it take a woman with "PMS" 6 hours to change a light bulb??
BECAUSE IT JUST DOES !!!! | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 15:04 monte_chick | 91 posts
| MICHAEL JACKSON JOKES!!
What do Michael Jackson and pimples have in common?
*Both come on young boys faces
How do you know it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
*When the big hand touches the little hand.
Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
*One is dangerous for small children to play with, the other is a plastic bag
| | 0 @ 02-10-2007 15:05 monte_chick | 91 posts
| Why are hurricanes always named after women?
* Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car with them! | | 0 @ 02-10-2007 19:05 TheAnnoyance |
44,299 posts
| lol^
*Cough* My joke thread is better *Cough* | | 0 @ 03-10-2007 14:39 monte_chick | 91 posts
| Birth Control
After marrying a much younger woman, a 93 year-old man visited his doctor and announced they were expecting a baby despite the doctor's previous reassurances that they would not need to use birth control.
"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a tiger charged toward him. Pointing his umbrella at the tiger, he shot and killed the animal on the spot." "Impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Somebody must have shot from the side!" "Exactly," replied the doctor.
* offtopic :
both joke threads are great!
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