Humor | Jokes - have a good, shortish joke?, write it here!

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Jokes - have a good, shortish joke?, write it here!

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@ 20-06-2004 19:23 Elfwid
2,093 posts	If you have a good, shortish joke, write it here * offtopic : (i know there could be others like this) i'll start with... did you hear my hamster died, he fell asleep at the wheel. (anyone can do better than that)

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Discussion
+1 @ 16-06-2008 23:09 Dagor
33,908 posts	2 protestant pastors are having a conversation. Says the first: You know, I never had sex with my future spouse before we weren't married .. What about you? Says the other: I can't recall .. what was her maiden name again?
-1 @ 16-06-2008 23:12 TheAnnoyance
44,767 posts	Haha
-1 @ 18-06-2008 19:02 missulikecrazy
863 posts	what's a pirates favourite candy bar? a mARRRRRRRRs bar!
-1 @ 11-07-2008 22:20 TheAnnoyance
44,767 posts	Two guys are in a bar talking about sex. After a few sexual topics, one guy asks "So whats your favorite sexual possition?", to which the other guy replies "Well for me, its gotta be a the "Rodeo cowboy" possition.". The first guy, looking confused, replies "Whats that then..?" to he says "Well you get her bent over and start doing her from behind, then reach forward and grab her boobs and say "you know, they feel a lot like your moms" and see how long you can hold on for".
0 @ 12-07-2008 01:45 Dagor
33,908 posts
+1 @ 12-07-2008 01:47 JDolla
7,457 posts	John and Sally are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and John says to Sally “So, Sally, I was wondering… Have you ever cheated on me?” Sally replies, “Oh John, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…” “Yes, Sally, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all right, 3 times…” “3, hmmm, well when were they?” “Well, John, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan… Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked… Well…” “Oh, Sally, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me…. So when was number 2?” “Well, John, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon wanted to touch you… Then remember how Dr. Brinkman came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again… Well….” “Oh my God!! Sally, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life… I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife… To do such a thing, , you must really love me darling… I couldn’t be more moved… So, all right then, when was number 3?” “Well, John, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the congregation…. And you were 47 votes short….”
-5 @ 12-07-2008 02:55 Mr_Pie_Guy_69
2,017 posts	What do you call 20 cripples in a pool? Vegetable soup
0 @ 12-07-2008 06:06 rhcps
233 posts	what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick hahaha
-1 @ 12-07-2008 11:01 Dagor
33,908 posts	hahaha .. that made me laugh .. okay, I laugh a lot at lame jokes, they're the best anyway
+5 @ 12-07-2008 17:34 Deadly_Rose
1,387 posts	A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?" "Both son, both." "Daddy, does God love children?" "Yes son, he loves all children." The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
-4 @ 17-07-2008 07:25 idlefido
1,457 posts	so there should be lots of God in Thailand.haha
0 @ 24-07-2008 22:08 TheAnnoyance
44,767 posts	Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis are sitting in a bar in Hollywood discussing what kind of movie they can do in the future. Willis says "You know what? I think we should all make action movies based on the lives of classical composers. I'd love to make a movie in which I play Beethoven." "Thats a great idea!" drawls Stallone enthusiastically. "I reackon i could play a mean Mozart." At which point, Arnie lowers his pint, fixes his companions with a steely gaze and says "I'll be Bach!". Lame joke
0 @ 30-07-2008 18:46 DarXide
5,700 posts	There was this man laying naked on the beach, looking around, with just a hat covering his "fun bits" when a woman walked by near him. They both looked at each other, and then the man continued looking around. The woman stopped and told the man, "if you were a real gentleman you'd lift your hat." The man said, "if you weren't so ugly it'd lift itself."
0 @ 30-07-2008 19:39 Metalupurass69
74 posts	yo mammas so stupid, she thought quarterpounder was wat gigolos gave. elvis was at the drive-in movie theater. the movie was so boring he fell asleep. later when he woke up, directly in front of him was a "now hiring" sign at the local gas station.
0 @ 30-07-2008 19:50 Metalupurass69
74 posts	dan a little boy was held hostage and got the top part of his head blown off by a grenade . he survived . later that month his older brother stan was talking about oral sex. and dan said i want some head
0 @ 30-07-2008 19:51 Metalupurass69
74 posts	true story ^^^^^
0 @ 30-07-2008 19:59 Metalupurass69
74 posts	george was attacked by a bunch of bees. the only harm done was he couldnt say B (phsically). years have passed by now and he visited the dentist asked him wat toothpaste he used. he responded "i use colgate but like oral."
0 @ 30-07-2008 20:10 Dagor
33,908 posts	At which point, Arnie lowers his pint, fixes his companions with a steely gaze and says "I'll be Bach!". If it hadn't been for Jeremy's avatar, I wouldn't have understood it
-4 @ 01-08-2008 07:15 Mr_Pie_Guy_69
2,017 posts	What's better than a box of dead babies? 2 boxes of dead babies.
+1 @ 21-08-2008 18:25 TheAnnoyance
44,767 posts	A woman went into a car repair centre and asked for a seven-hundred-and-ten knob. All the staff looked at each other and one mechanic asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its bonnet up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, it's right there'.