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Jokes - have a good, shortish joke?, write it here!
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@ 20-06-2004 19:23 Elfwid | 2,093 posts
| If you have a good, shortish joke, write it here
* offtopic :
(i know there could be others like this)
i'll start with...
did you hear my hamster died, he fell asleep at the wheel. (anyone can do better than that) |
| Showing posts 2,576-2,600 of 2,611 | Page 104 of 105 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 24-03-2008 21:22 carole | 26,916 posts
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* offtopic :
the Paddy joke up there (that Sierra and Karla didnt get) :
the guy said he had sex with an easy woman, and the priest came up with four names right away :
"was it Brenda O'Malley?
was it Fiona MacDonald?
was it Ann Brown?"
was it Amy Thomas?"
so the guy went out of the church with his punishment but also with the names of four women he now knows are easy. its not very funny, but thats what the joke is about
| +4 @ 25-03-2008 15:48 TheAnnoyance | 
44,426 posts
| Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle! | | -5 @ 29-03-2008 04:04 Mr_Pie_Guy_69 | 
1,563 posts
| Where did chingy get shot?
Right Thurr | | 0 @ 02-04-2008 22:20 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| Police arrested two kids yesterday, ones was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other off. | | 0 @ 02-04-2008 22:24 ice_white_tiger | 
14,479 posts
|
* offtopic :
I'm sure that joke's alread been posted...
... because I obviously remember all 100 pages of this thread...
| | 0 @ 02-04-2008 22:27 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| [offtopic]yeah, it probably has. but then after over 2 and a half thousand posts, people are bound to start repeating lol.[offtopic] | | 0 @ 02-04-2008 22:27 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
|
* offtopic :
well i suck.
| | +5 @ 02-04-2008 22:34 ice_white_tiger |
14,479 posts
| A man came home and told his wife that he'd brought a new kind of condom at the chemist - Olympic condoms.
"In that case, can we use the silver one tonight?" The wife said.
"What?" Said the man, "Why do you want to use the silver?"
"Well, I thought it would be nice if you came second for a change..." | | 0 @ 02-04-2008 22:35 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| haha  | | 0 @ 03-04-2008 05:25 idlefido | 
1,403 posts
| well, i prefer orange one. lol... | | -7 @ 04-04-2008 01:24 idlefido |
1,403 posts
| one day,a nun confessed to a priest,"priest,please forgive me.i abused a man rudely yesterday."priest:what did u abuse him?nun:i shouted at him "damn ur mums pussy".priest:well,tell me,y did u abuse him?ill ask god to forgive u.nun:he touched my breast.priest put his hands over nuns breast,"is it like this?"nun:yes.priest:well,u shouldnt abuse him,just bcoz he touched ur breast.nun:but he continued to touch my under.so the priest moved his hands to nuns under,"like this?"nun:yes.priest:but u shouldnt abuse him,just bcoz he touched ur under.nun:but he pushed me down,n raped me finally.the priest pushed down nun, raped her same,"is it like this?"nun:yes.priest:but u shouldnt abuse him,even he raped u.nun:but when he finished rape,he told me he got AIDS. priest: ................ Damn ur mums pussy! well i cant stop loving now hahahaha... | | -3 @ 04-04-2008 03:28 Mr_Pie_Guy_69 |
1,563 posts
| A british guy walks into a gay bar (not knowing it was a gay bar) and asks the bartender if he can bum a fag.  | | +2 @ 04-04-2008 22:21 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"
| | 0 @ 05-04-2008 03:46 rasinbug | 14 posts
| why was the horse galloping around naked?
he lost his jockey.... | | 0 @ 08-04-2008 11:12 Dagor | 
33,442 posts
| a lame one
why did the frog cross the road? To show that it had guts | | +4 @ 08-04-2008 21:57 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| A man go's to a blacksmith looking for a job, and the man asks "do you have any experience shoeing horses" and he replies "no, but i once told a donkey to f*** off". | | 0 @ 08-04-2008 22:24 JDolla | 
7,219 posts
| a 22 year old man was on a safari in africa. he came upon a stomping, pissed off young bull elephant. he looked the elephant right in the eyes, trying not to startle it any furhter. he noticed out of the corner of his eye that the elephant had a large wooden splinter in its foot. he moved slowly, still looking it in the eye, and removed the splinter.
15 years later he was in the chicago zoo with his children. as they strolled by the elephant exhibit, he saw a bull elephant stomping about in a pissed off maner. he immediately thought of the safari 15 years before. he leaped over the fence and walked slowly toward the elephant, looking it in the eyes. as he got close, the elephant grabbed him with his trunk and smacked him aganst a tree, killing him instantly.
must not have been the same elephant... | | +1 @ 17-04-2008 19:52 indiechick_ | 
8,775 posts
| it's long, but it's about pirates and it's worth the read.
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!". | | 0 @ 19-04-2008 10:10 idlefido |
1,403 posts
| Lol... the joke likes my style.@_@ | | -9 @ 20-04-2008 06:02 Mr_Pie_Guy_69 |
1,563 posts
| Why couldnt the kid come through the door?
cause it had a 10 foot javelin through it's head
________________________________________
what do you call 20 cripples in a pool
vegetable soup
___________________________________
whats the difference between a porcupine and a Lamborghini
with a Lamborghini the pricks are on the inside
_____________________________________
whats the difference between a box of dead babies and a porche?
i don't have a porche in my garage...
| | +4 @ 30-04-2008 01:13 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| Whats the difference between a whore and a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't spit out your load. | | 0 @ 08-05-2008 23:18 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| Just realised i got the above joke the wrong way round lol.
Did you hear about the guy who kept his daughter and their children locked in the basement feeding them only on bread and water..
well atleast they were interbread.
sorry, bad taste joke. | | +4 @ 11-05-2008 22:31 TheAnnoyance |
44,426 posts
| A rich man and a poor man are out buying gifts for their wifes.
The rich man says "I bought her a diamond ring and a BMW. That way if she doesnt like the ring, she can take her new car to get it changed."
The poor man says "I bought her a pair of slippers and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."
| | 0 @ 16-06-2008 01:50 rhcps | 
170 posts
| What do you call a bee that can make milk?
-boobies
and another one
these 3 guys were hiking, and one tripped over a rock and a genie popped out. the genie said I'll give you each a wish but you have to jump off the cliff and wish for it (but you will land safely in your wish)
so the first guy goes and jumps off yelling "A million dollars!" so he lands safely in a million dollars
the 2nd guy goes and jumps yelling "a corvette full of hot girls!" and lands safely in that
lastly the 3rd guy goes to jump and trips on a rock over the edge and yells "shit!!"
| | 0 @ 16-06-2008 23:05 Dagor |
33,442 posts
| @james |
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