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Jokes - have a good joke?, write it here!

 
20-06-2004 19:23Elfwid is offline Elfwid  

2,093 posts
If you have a good joke, write it here!

i'll start with...

Did you hear my hamster died, he fell asleep at the wheel.
(anyone can do better than that)




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09-10-2009 21:12Captain_Keeta is offline Captain_Keeta 

4,272 posts
no ^ the trees do laugh but they also bark
10-10-2009 02:39JDolla is offline JDolla 


9,906 posts
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You've already told her twice.



i remember when my dad told my mom that joke. hes lucky we have a comfy couch...
15-10-2009 22:53Nikinyx is offline Nikinyx 

222 posts
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says "I would like to buy that T.V. please. "
The store clerk replies "I'm sorry, we don't do business with blondes". So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black.
The next day, she went back to the same store and said "I would like to buy that T.V. please."
The store clerk, once again, replies "Sorry, we don't do business with blondes".
The blonde replied "How did you know I was blonde?" The clerk says "Because thats a microwave."
18-10-2009 16:29Captain_Keeta is offline Captain_Keeta 

4,272 posts
hahaha good one ^
12-11-2009 16:26inuderf is offline inuderf 


65 posts
Here´s one...

There once was an old priest that grew sick of hearing his people come in the temple and beg forgiveness for their sin in adultery, the following Sunday he then presented to the congregation that adultery will be known as fallen from now on, they all liked the idea and quickly adjusted to it.
After months of preaching and sharing Gods word, the priest finally gave his last breath, once the congregation buried the old priest the new priest gave in, after a week of attending to the churches needs the new priest had done started to feel at home, he then picked up the phone and called the mayor’s office, the mayor showing great gratitude accepted to see the new priest.
The next day the new priest attended the meeting, as he walked in the door the mayor asked “may I ask, why the sudden interest in seeing me?” the priest answered “you have to do something about your sidewalks.” The mayor realizing that the new priest wasn´t informed on the churches agreement began to laugh hysterically, this infuriated the priest which he quickly said “I don´t know why you laugh, if your wife has told me that she fell three times this week!!!”
13-11-2009 01:04Deadly_Rose is offline Deadly_Rose 


1,450 posts
(It's a bit long, and it's not the funniest joke ever, I'm sorry.)

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, ''I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.''

The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, ''Follow me.'' The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.

''Thanks so much,'' says the theatergoer, ''This seat is perfect.'' He then hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, ''The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick.''

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