LSI PLAYERRate this poem for the army bride
 10-07-2012 12:13 davidwarner | |
| 3 posts | Hello my son is in the Army and getting married soon. This poem is for his new bride. Please tell me if it is complete rubbish or what. Any gramatical corrections is also apreciated. Thank you
Amanda Amanda, you have stolen our hearts Amanda Amanda, cannot be apart Sweetness and light, a beautiful sight Amanda Amanda, what a delight When wedding bells ring our hearts they will sing For happiness and joy and every special thing Together through distance and time, love will remain uncomplicated and fine A new life and vibrant cultures explored, you shall always be adored Amanda Amanda you have stolen our hearts Amanda Amanda, you cannot be apart With you a shared life oh what a delight Amanda Amanda a beautiful sight. |
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| 13-07-2012 12:17 Makis_G | |
 845 posts | Looks like a song with a refrain !! |
| 14-07-2012 11:28 davidwarner | |
 3 posts | Hi Makis,
Thanks for the comment. Not sure if that means it's rubbish or not though? Do you have any suggestions for improvement? I may recite it at the wedding but don't want to embarass myself. Thanks. DW |
| 14-07-2012 15:51 Xavier573 | |
 272 posts | Being in the Army myself I know that when I get married it would mean a lot to me for my Dad to recite a poem about my bride, the only suggestion i would have though is that instead of "uncomplicated and fine" i would use "uncomplicated and true" or something that means more then just fine |
| 15-07-2012 11:20 davidwarner | |
3 posts | Cool, thanks Xavier....and Thank You! for serving. |
| 15-07-2012 12:18 Xavier573 | |
272 posts | Your welcome Dave and thank you |