Relation/Friendships | how do you tell a friend to shut up?

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how do you tell a friend to shut up?

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@ 12-11-2003 11:23 Rass
5,430 posts	dood, one of my best friend people just wont freakin shut up about her stupid lil life not that she's like b*tching or anything, she's always all happy about it, kind of like she's trying to brag or something, it was okay for the first two days but it's all she has freakin talked to me about for the past week and a half and i'm so annoyed with her now, i just want to tell her to shut up, or block her on msn and avoid her or something i mean come on, it's the part of her life i'm not connected to, never have been and never will be so why is she all talking about it all the time to me now? okay i'm done now, thanks for listening to me rant, oh yeah and does anyone know how i can tell her to shut up and not be so mean about it?

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Discussion
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:25 vandy
9,518 posts	you need to sit her down and make some good use of "I" statements. "I feel jealous when you talk about how good your life is." "I feel like I don't matter when you talk about how good the other part of your life is." etc. etc. The only catch is you have to be willing to be patient and honestly listen to her side of it and not just assume that you're completely right.
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:27 Rass
5,430 posts	i am completely right though and i hate i statements like that because it makes me sound selfish or self centered and she'll take it that way, trust me, i know her she will, it's why i haven't told her to shut up yet, and the only i statement that would work is "i feel annoyed when you don't talk about anything BUT that"
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:28 Groovejet
5,848 posts	No, you have to start talking about YOUR life back to her, involving people that she doesn't know. see her reaction
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:30 Rass
5,430 posts	she...changes the subject back to her? i mean in the past month she's become so self-centered but i dont want to say that and hurt her
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:31 vandy
9,518 posts	hmmm...there could be something behind all that talk? I mean, I'm generally a happy person, but there are a few people in my life who I'll put on the happy face for no matter what. And that's because their life is no picnic. And I hate it when people try to "compete" with me to have a worse life than me....so for those that REALLY do have it worse, I make sure they have nothing to compete with, and I make sure that I'm not competing with them. You never know, you may be misjudging her motives. Then again I don't really know either of you so I could be wrong. But really...just try to see if there's any possiblility that there's something underneath it all. Also, she could be really upset about something she wouldn't dare tell anyone...and all the happiness...it could just be a mask. And I don't care how much you're convinced that that's not possible...it's possible with ANYONE. Even the people we least expect. Especially them. You never know for sure what's going on inside a person.
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:38 Rass
5,430 posts	truuuuue but she's already told me all of the troubles in her little life, or at least i hope those are all the troubles cause if theres something bigger i'm gonna be forced to play detective and it's not ALWAYS happy, it's just generally happy and when she's upset about something no matter how concerned i've been and acted these past few days she acts like i dont care and proceeds to not want to talk to me after telling me what's wrong have you ever had a friend that had a boyfriend or girlfriend, like a new boyfriend or girlfriend, and they just dont shut up about that person, it's he/she said this and he/she said that and we did this and watched that and laughed at this that that this squee sqwa sqwoo thats what it's like, and i really want to care but i talk to her for like hours every day so i end up kind of like "and we did this! and it was so much fun!" and i go it just sucks
0 @ 12-11-2003 11:50 Chezzy
502 posts	just say the thruth to her just say that shes talking to much about it
0 @ 12-11-2003 12:07 andro
42,248 posts	I agree with vandy. Overy talking about yourself is often symptomatic of a greater problem underneath. Your friend may be suffering from a severe lack of self confidence which she is trying to hide under a facade of happiness. In a worst case scenario, it could develop into clinical depression. Talk to your friend. Try to find out what's really been happening in her life. If you feel this is something you can't do, talk to a trusted adult about your concerns.
0 @ 12-11-2003 12:11 aflackoh6
28,546 posts	just tell her she is too damn happy (put blunty, feel free to cusion it) and you're getting sick off of it. that always works for me
0 @ 12-11-2003 12:21 Rass
5,430 posts	whatevah i dont have a clue whats going on now, i commented on something she said and it blew up into a semi-argument and now i'm pssed at her because she pulled up the past (i hate it when people pull up the long forgotten dead past) and compared something i did to her life now, pretty much saying that she's not as screwed up in any way as i am which she is or she wouldn't be one of my closest friends, and right when she knew i was really pssed she goes "lets not argue about it, i dont want sour feelings" and now is avoiding talking to me, grrr
0 @ 12-11-2003 12:22 aflackoh6
28,546 posts	plastic
0 @ 12-11-2003 12:31 Rass
5,430 posts	thanks, that helps
0 @ 13-11-2003 04:55 Puddle_of_sugar
3,690 posts	ok, heres how it'll go down her: blah blah my life is cool blah blah blah you:shut up! her k problem solved! lol sorry....
0 @ 13-11-2003 13:53 Puddle_of_sugar
3,690 posts	* her
0 @ 13-11-2003 13:54 Jez
12,757 posts	Haha Puddle... that's blunt to say the least. Definitely no beat around the bush there.
0 @ 13-11-2003 14:55 ice_white_tiger
14,492 posts	pure and simple. 3 little words. 'You are gay'.
0 @ 13-11-2003 14:56 stupot
14,962 posts	wen my mates say that to me i just stare at them and say 'yeah, and....?' and just carry on talking. hahaha im a right ***** to some of them. when they wont shut up i just say 'ooooooooh shut up' in a whiney voice ~edited by moderator~
0 @ 13-11-2003 14:59 ice_white_tiger
14,492 posts	stu, why can i imagine you saying that kinda thing?
0 @ 13-11-2003 15:03 stupot
14,962 posts	im always saying the wrong thing. im going thru a phase of comedy-btching wiv a girl called sarah at the moment. she was saying that she was fat and i was telling her that the only part of her that was fat was her ase. and she got all offended and has started btching about me btching about her. so now im btching about her btching about me b*tching about her. haha i love that word ~edited by moderator~
0 @ 13-11-2003 15:05 ice_white_tiger
14,492 posts	lol - you remind me of this guy i'm always b*tching with. Were good mates, but then suddenly one of justs comes out with something and then the rest of the day is made up of total insults... ~edited by moderator~
0 @ 13-11-2003 15:08 stupot
14,962 posts	days spent being rude and slapping each others behinds when you see eachother. i tend to do that quite alot. u see the cow whos moanin at u, run up behind her, slap her bum and then run away
0 @ 13-11-2003 15:10 ice_white_tiger
14,492 posts	lol that somehow doesnt surprise me...
0 @ 15-11-2003 22:42 Puddle_of_sugar
3,690 posts	or you could look at them wierdly and be like...."and your point is......?"
0 @ 15-11-2003 22:45 ravenskiss
7,497 posts	simple SHUT UP
0 @ 17-11-2003 16:08 Christian_elf
3 posts	Just sit her down and try to explain how you feel. If she doesn't get the idea or gets pi**ed off at you maybe she isn't that good of a friend ~edited by moderator~