|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
rate my poem?
  |
| read 6 reaction(s) |
|---|
@ 11-05-2008 17:06 cupcheckk | 7 posts
| [topic=]Hi; im new. My name is haley; and i write poems;
Ih ave recently been through alot; and i ended up cutting myself. I think i am better now; but whatever. I write poems to get out my feelings so please let me know if you like them.
Thankk you 
Please do not worry, just a scar upon her arm, she wont kill herself tonight; just cause a bit more harm.
Slicing away all her pain; suffocating all her fears;
nothing can stop all the violent tears. She wants them to quit screaming, she can hear them through the door, even if she asks it to stop they will push her to the floor. She doesn’t want to cry in front of you that means she is weak and you have won, she wants you to be proud of her, of anything shes done. She sits alone on her bed quickly reaches for the knife; just another cut a failed attempt to take her life.She runs the blade across her skin and makes it bleed until she feels it; then puts a band aid over it; nothing else will heal it.How much more can she bleed ? She will soon find out. Not many people understand what her pain is all about. She washes away the blood even though she knows it will be bleeding for a while; she rolls down her sleeves and wipes her tear filled eyes. She feels everyone staring, she hopes they look away, she knows her arms are bleeding, and she knows what they will say. Please quit staring you might break her down, just turn around let her bleed, no one will ever give her everything she needs. She still thinks about the time they shared, everytime he made her smile, but now she can not quit crying she’s been bleeding for a while. && the scars on her arms aren’t nearly as bad as the ones on her heart, she has suffered so much she is falling apart. She needs help there is so much she cant do right, so much she can not win, she’s so alone and broken, her pain will never end. But still she hides herself from everyone, she does not show her fear, everybody watches; “oh look, some more blood another tear;” So broken down and lonely so dark depressed she cuts herself to deep for them her whole life is a mess. &&T he blood just wont quit pouring from her breaking wrists, she lifts the knife upon them for one last fatal kiss She’s dying, she’s alone. She will not cry out for help, she doesn’t deserve it, so they can save it for themselves. Please just et her die go on your way, its fine, she swears. So go on she doesn’t need you here, its fine she does not care.. Let her bleed herself to happiness, let her bend until she breaks, looks like she has found out, just how much she can.take. The pain she suffers from each cut makes the other pain fade fast But no matter how many cuts she makes, the feeling never lasts;
Thats only one of like 20 i have;
if you want more let me know :]
|
| Showing posts 1-6 of 6 | Page 1 of 1 |
| Discussion |
|---|
 0  @ 11-05-2008 17:41 Barakine | 
21,840 posts
| I don't like it. I was guessing you're 12 or 13 before I checked your profile. Poetry is art, keep that in mind if you want to get better. At least that's my opinion. =)
But I am sorry about how you feel. What kind of music do you listen to? Music is instant cure. I could send you some stuff or tell you what to get.
P.S. No need for several topics. | | 0 @ 11-05-2008 17:46 indiechick_ | 
8,674 posts
| i wouldn't call it good poetry, but maybe you could write songs with this? | | 0 @ 11-05-2008 18:58 cupcheckk | 7 posts
| blah; well yeah; i made a bunch of them into songs; i also play the guitar and after i write i usually play them. Yeah i figured i wwasnt much of a poet; but i have recently been sticking to the singing and songwriting; which people seem to appreciate more.
And ; yes i am 14;
but its quite all right. i Listen to what my friend brad referss to as fake punk emo poser bands. :\ Like mayday parade or secondhand serenade; red jumpsuit apparatus; Stuff like that you know? And i listen to a litttttlllee bit of country but i cant really stand rap. | | 0 @ 13-05-2008 18:34 Cyd | 
11,114 posts
| 0/10 | | 0 @ 28-06-2008 04:20 Namel3ss | 7 posts
| I liked it; I could overlook the 'cliche' topic of cutting to see the obvious emotion, and steady rhyming style.
My only suggestion would be to space it out more, so it doesn't look like one big paragraph. Organize it into verses (poetry verses, not song verses). | | -1 @ 28-06-2008 17:28 Mr_Pie_Guy_69 | 
1,229 posts
|  |
| |
|
|
|
TOP ARTISTS:
Coldplay, Rihanna, Jonas Brothers, Jason Mraz, Lil Wayne, Miley Cyrus, Leona Lewis, Avril Lavigne, Chris Brown, Paramore, Linkin Park, Mariah Carey, Pussycat Dolls, The, Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Jordin Sparks, Usher, Akon, Eminem, Colbie Caillat, Secondhand Serenade, Nickelback, Lifehouse, Ne-Yo, Håkan Hellström, Kanye West, Simple Plan, Jesse McCartney, Metro Station, Evanescence, Sara Bareilles, Takida, John Mayer, One Republic, Christina Aguilera, Cute Is What We Aim For, Avenged Sevenfold, Lars Winnerbäck, Alanis Morissette, Fall Out Boy, Natasha Bedingfield, Enrique Iglesias, Boys Like Girls, Celine Dion, Kelly Clarkson, Beatles, The, Carrie Underwood, Alicia Keys, Death Cab For Cutie |
| Copyright © 1998-2008 LetsSingIt | add to bookmarks | disclaimer | privacy policy | advertise on this site |
|
|
