|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
War poem I made
  |
| read 10 reaction(s) |
|---|
@ 14-10-2003 23:58 sweetie_pie015 | 93 posts
| War
War is the end to the start of peace.
Happiness is something we cannot lease,
For the happy we need the sad,
Everything goes from good to bad.
Deep dark forecast is in store for war.
A piece of your heart was tore.
Bloody and bleeding you realize its done..
So many lives shattered, its not fun.
Tears burning down your cheeks,
You haven’t heard from you family in weeks…
You crawl to safety, the beautiful comfort of it..
You soon realize your comrades are dead…you throw a fit
Anything to get your mind off the pain
Memories of your family help you sustain…
Thoughts of warmness thoughts of laughter
All of this wash away your feelings of hunger..
please help me end this poem...I dont know what to put to end it...or do you think that that should be the end to it?...please help?  thanks alot!
Danni |
| Showing posts 1-10 of 10 | Page 1 of 1 |
| Discussion |
|---|
 0  @ 15-10-2003 00:01 WendyLikesCandy | 751 posts
| i'd say end it with some to d o with like being sad depressed or lie dyong or somethign but i'm not sure how to word my thought with your poem sorry danni go read mine and tell me what you think thanks *gives candy* ~wendy | | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:09 WendyLikesCandy | 751 posts
| btw i like what you have its good  | | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:09 sweetie_pie015 | 93 posts
| hows this ending??
War
War is the end to the start of peace.
Happiness is something we cannot lease,
For the happy we need the sad,
Everything goes from good to bad.
Deep dark forecast is in store for war.
A piece of your heart was tore.
Bloody and bleeding you realize its done..
So many lives shattered, its not fun.
Tears burning down your cheeks,
You haven’t heard from you family in weeks…
You crawl to safety, the beautiful comfort of it..
You soon realize your comrades are dead…you throw a fit
Anything to get your mind off the pain
Memories of your family help you sustain…
Thoughts of warmness thoughts of laughter
All of this wash away your feelings of hunger..
But the thoughts are gone and the hungers back,
Your in serious pain as you suffer another bullet attack..
You soon realize you’ve been hit,
And finally understand….this is the end of it..
A letter goes home with your tag inside,
Your family cries…they knew you tired..
| | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:12 Cheater138 | 
18,993 posts
| That is good, but very depressing. (I know alot of people that are in the army) | | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:12 WendyLikesCandy | 751 posts
| it defentily works well i mean maybe try and think of somethign differnt and run it by a few peopel but i like it...go read mine  | | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:13 sweetie_pie015 | 93 posts
| I've wrote it for a rememberance day thingy...sorry about that  | | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:15 Cheater138 |
18,993 posts
| Nah, don't be sorry. It's really good. | | 0 @ 15-10-2003 00:15 WendyLikesCandy | 751 posts
| thats cool and its good smile | | 0 @ 16-10-2003 00:49 sweetie_pie015 | 93 posts
| lol thanks...I'll be sure to remember that | | 0 @ 16-10-2003 16:30 chicken_nugget | 854 posts
| thats really good!  |
| |
|
|
|
TOP ARTISTS:
Jonas Brothers, Rihanna, Coldplay, Miley Cyrus, Jason Mraz, Katy Perry, Lil Wayne, Leona Lewis, Avril Lavigne, Pussycat Dolls, The, Chris Brown, Paramore, Taylor Swift, Linkin Park, Secondhand Serenade, Jordin Sparks, Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Akon, Eminem, Ne-Yo, Abba, Lifehouse, Lars Winnerbäck, Nickelback, Lady Gaga, Evanescence, Colbie Caillat, Takida, M.I.A., Carrie Underwood, Christina Aguilera, Kanye West, Simple Plan, Avenged Sevenfold, Metro Station, Celine Dion, Slipknot, Håkan Hellström, Boys Like Girls, Usher, Kelly Clarkson, Blink-182, John Mayer, Alanis Morissette, Beatles, The, Metallica, Jesse McCartney, Aerosmith, Alicia Keys |
| Copyright © 1998-2008 LetsSingIt | add to bookmarks | disclaimer | privacy policy | advertise on this site |
|
|
