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Short Stories
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@ 19-09-2003 09:39 Masterful_Ally | 15,627 posts
| Hey guys, Orpheus_Myth pointed out this was needed so feel free to post your short stories here and get some feedback - I may even do so meself 
Ally xxx |
| Showing posts 26-50 of 52 | Page 2 of 3 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 26-08-2004 21:41 vandy | 
9,508 posts
| here's an oldie of mine that I've polished up.
The girl ran through the airport terminal to her friend and clinged onto her like a clamp. She said nothing, in fact, made no sound but the soft, gasping noises of stifled sobs. Her friend, as well, said nothing, in fact showed no signs of feeling.
The girl held her friend at arm's length, and studied her face. What had previously been like a mirror was now like looking through a window on a bleak and grey day. Her friend's eyes, though still the same deep chocolate shade, had lost thier passionate glitter and now appeared muddy.
Her friend's mane of hair, which once looked like tongues of fire, had been shorn close to her head, now no more than an inch or two long. The tight spirals had gone limp and the flame color had dimmed into more of a brick brown.
Her friend's mouth was no longer bent upward in a large grin, nor twisted and wrinkled into a characteristicly angry and passionate frown. Instead, she wore an emotionless, almost obligatory half-smile.
Her friend stood straight, shoulders high, chest lifted, as if she had forgotten how to simply relax. Her hands, which were at one time soft and carefully manicured, were now like sandpaper with the calluses. Her fingers, now crooked, bore scrapes and bruises and scars. On further examination, the girl noticed many deep scratches peeking out of the ends of her friend's sleeves. Too big, frequent, and evenly spaced to be from fights or briars, the girl thought, they must have been deliberately placed.
Her friend's figure, formerly womanly and curvacious, had grown bare and scrawny. Her friend, at length, spoke, and the girl could not find THE emotion in her friend's tone, THE emotion that had once run rampant and unbridled, usually to the point of overwhelming-ness. Instead, her friend's voice had a dry, flat quality.
The girl, whose eyes were dripping, pulled her friend in for another embrace, which was returned dryly without feeling.
The girl knew now. Her friend had died at war. | | 0 @ 26-08-2004 22:48 IScooter | 151 posts
| Rass,catx3 you can write. I wish I was that gifted. | | 0 @ 27-08-2004 18:42 AzNcuTiE77 | 47 posts
| hey rass
i know u dont know me n i dont know u
but ur writings have touched me
so thnx
if u eva return to that dark cold path look for me cuz im there
ive been there for a while but i havent seen ne houses....
o well
ill keep an eye on the east
write me k?  | | 0 @ 27-08-2004 18:51 mmmeee0 | 2,762 posts
| halo story, its a video game
------------------------------------
Jhonson looked at the Elite, and grinned, apparently the monstrous 7 foot alien was out of battery life on his plasma rifle.
He was so glad, for the first time in 36 years, when the war began.
The Elite, prefering to die with honour, just stood there, waiting.
The assault rifles trigger was pulled.
click
The clip was empty.
Swears.
Jhonson searched his ammo bags for more clips.
The Elite opened its eyes.
No ammo. Not even for his pistol.
The Elite, having armour that enhanced his mgihty strength, roared the war cry, and ran at the UNSC marine, plasma rifle high in the air.
Jhonson, had always saved a present for situations like this.
A fragmentation grenade.
The Elite, not seeing it at first cam too close, and tried to tun away.
Unluckily, for both beings, the blue-armoured alien was only 2 metres away.
Frag grenades bounce, and only have a 3 second fuse.
----------------------------------
ok, how'd you gus like it? | | 0 @ 27-08-2004 19:04 lil_minty | 11,159 posts
| rockchicken
that didnt make sense cus killing anyone is a crime......? | | 0 @ 30-08-2004 22:42 AzNcuTiE77 | 47 posts
| hey lilminty
killin ne1 is a crime but so is suicide n the grl in rockchickens story didnt realize that til the end so at first she figured wat the heck im killin myself but ya. n i also think its jus a story n that last part was jus a way to tell every1 the lil twist bout how the grl was the most beautiful person alive
ur azn bud
liz
~lataz~ | | 0 @ 30-08-2004 22:44 mmmeee0 | 2,762 posts
| how come no-one reviewed my story? im so sad.... its like im not a good writer. | | 0 @ 31-08-2004 17:45 AzNcuTiE77 | 47 posts
| ill review ya kiddo
it aint a bad story but as sum constructive criticism i think u could put in a lil more detail n stuff. its a really good story n ur a betta writer than i am so i shouldnt even b talkin but ya.
ur azn bud
liz
~lataz~ | | 0 @ 07-11-2004 21:54 MuffinzRule | 31 posts
| HERES PART OF ONE OF MINE-excuse the crapness im only 11-
the kids laughed as the poor girl sadly turned away,looking down at the newly polished floor.she had been bullied ever since she could remember,and felt horrible because there was at nobody in the world who really understood her and made her feel better.she was shoved outside as children poured out of the school.she felt as if the way you dressed and acted put you in a sort of group.right now the only way to be cool was to have long blonde hair and huge breasts.she put her hand up to her chin and her long nails gently clinked against her silver lip ring.her long purple hair brushed against her pale face. it seemed that in this new school gothic dancing and kickboxing were really uncool.so she remained friendless.her life was dull even though she had desperately tried to fit in.laughing children banged into her knocking the silver lip ring out.it cut deep into her lower lip.red blood trickled down her chin as tears came in her eyes.she rushed to her small room in the south block of her boarding school.she wished she hadnt come to boarding school but with the home situation she had no choice.she looked in the mirror and desperately tidied her long hair and rubbed at her red eyes with a tissue.the girl then decided to really make an effort to get a friend.suddenly the speaker in the corner of the room came alive with a shocking announcement.
"please go to the main hall now,we have a new student joining us."
the girl was uninterested,thinking that it would be someone cruel and cold,perfect to join the rest of the cheerleading club.she had known from the day she arrived that she was the schools only goth and she felt ignored by the staff and pupils.she felt left out,as the school was centred around sports,cheerleading,technology and maths/science-none of the music,creative writing or art she had enjoyed at her last school.she felt that her imagination was being crushed,and also,she could forget having any fun-the only thing of her choice she did was a weekly visit to a goth nightclub.this was hardly any fun as she still had to meet a good friend to talk to and was way too shy for meeting people.
HOPE YOU LIKE IT! | | 0 @ 08-11-2004 21:02 MuffinzRule | 31 posts
| Where r u all?
 | | 0 @ 19-11-2004 18:18 ChickenGirlAlex | 47 posts
|  yeah they are all good.
| | 0 @ 26-11-2004 14:34 ChickenGirlAlex | 47 posts
| This is a bit of my little brothers story.he's only nine so forgive him if its a bit...bad.I think it is the story of a little boy who has something wrong with him-every1 says he will die but he lives.
I wanted to deny it as soon as it was said.I wanted to pretend that I really didn't care.Tears stung my eyes-i wanted so badly just to cry and let out all of my feelings.I pulled the pillow over my head,trying unsucessfully to blot out what was being said.I hated the looks on the faces my friends and family.The people closest to me are openly crying and i feel so jelous of them.I want to cry-why am i in this position?why not one of them?my friends look sad and as they lean over and say they will miss me i hug them warmly.the room is a nightmare of people kissing and hugging me,although is it only me that thinks this room is so cold?the bare white walls,the silver jug of water,all the machines all beeping and making noises,all the tubes poking into me....it all seems so unreal.I hated my life but never realised how lucky i was until today.people crowd round-asking questions.Can we see your body?Can i have your skateboard?Who gets all your money?After all that i feel terrible.....but even more determined not to slip away peacefully.a hole in the heart will not stop me from living a good life.
so is it OK?
hes only 9 and does not have a computor so i had to post it on here.
 | | 0 @ 26-11-2004 14:48 nanki_c | 
14,315 posts
| hmm i've already posted my short story on the forum so is it okay if i just link it here? cause its all formatted over there
this thread
| | 0 @ 18-12-2004 16:43 Rock_Chicken | 1,663 posts
| what the.....? 
How could a nine yr old write THAT!
| | 0 @ 03-04-2005 12:18 ghostie93 | 73 posts
| hey all of your posts are good, i wish i had d talent  . here goes:
Deep, dark.
from the day i saw you,
i became blind,
ur love was making me weaker,
and you were trying to find.
the deepest parts within me,
the secrets in my soul.
and when you left me stranded,
you left a deep dark hole.
(is dat alrite?) hope it is luv yas pip xx
| | 0 @ 03-04-2005 12:22 ghostie93 | 73 posts
| sorry i put it in the wrong thing, i dont no if its a poem but uh... yea post things u like bout it anyway. | | 0 @ 03-04-2005 12:26 alais | 525 posts
|  I loved it!
And I also liked the nine years old boys story | | 0 @ 03-04-2005 14:51 ghostie93 | 73 posts
| thnx so much alais ^ i appreciate it im nt very good so i think i did a good first try! | | 0 @ 06-04-2005 23:18 dontavvaclue | 1,290 posts
| this is made up and off the top of my head riight now so it will probs come out like a load of nonsence and i am sorry if it does  also sorry that it dusnt really have many full stops in it cos i cant b bothered to put them in
---------------------------------------------------------
when i was younger i used to think of things that i wanted and that i thought i needed i used to put things aside that i thought had no real point in them. but i used to do that with my family they cam e last in a list of priority and if they asked me to do summin it would be a no or a maybe l8r and they were under my boy friend and friends and well socialising in general. then one day they went out for a family day out up to London and i said i didnt want to go and they had given up on me so they didnt bother me about it said ok you find out where you can stay and we will see you tomorrow at about 3. well they left and i went to sarahs house for the night and there we did all the things that girls did at a sleep over we ate pizzza and drank coke (diet, of course) but then you know when you can feel like something isnt right like either there is something you have forgotten or jus something that isnt what it should be well i had that feeling and at about 10 oclock when e were watching a film i suddenly ran to the loo and was sick but i wasnt unwell i was just sick with this thought the thought that something had happened to my family that someone was hurt or evenworse dead. well i decided to call them well call mums mobile but it was off so i tried dads and that was off aswell and then i tried my oldest sister sally and her phone was on and after about 10 rings she picked up and the minute she did i could tell that something was up she was usually very bubbly and cheery and her voice very high but no it was low and croaky i said sally what has happen and she took a deep breath in and started with it " there was an accident we were on the way home rom the resaurant and mum and dad had had a lot of alcohol so jane said she'd drive and they didnt disagree and when she was well danny he screamed and it through her off and she tried to hit the brake but she hit the excel and we sped into the lorry infront her and dad who were sat in the front were hurt and we dont know what extent to but its bad katie its bad. i'll try and keep you informed as best i can but but but im scared for eveyone now" i couldnt speak i was dumbfounded and i didnt know what to say but i manage a squeaky goodbye before i fell into sarahs arms in tears and devistation i was heart broken
well the next month i was dressed in black from head to toe and carrying flowers following 2 coffins...one with DAD in flowers and one with JANE we buried both of them that grey september day under the ground they lay but up in heaven they will stay watching on us to keep us safe my sisetr and my dad who will always be there for me | | 0 @ 07-04-2005 21:26 dontavvaclue | 1,290 posts
| She stared out the misty window covered in the dirt from the feild, which was a golden yellow as the daffodils grew on it, as she sat trying not to concentrate on the room or the people in it she tried to concentarte away from them and away from her thoughts. Then she heard a slam on the wooden desk infront of her she looked up to seen the stern face of her teacher and put her pen back on the paper and carried on while trying to ignore nagging thoughts and peoples stares.
By the time the bell had gone she was ready to go, well was mentally ready for what was to happen, she had to be it happened every day sam place same time but she never knew why but it happened and she couldnt stop it. However she tried it had happened for the last 2 months what else was she 2 do she couldnt exactly change it or make it better.
She walked slowly out of the room and down the dark corridor she reached the door and reached her locker. she opened it with the greatest fear of noise and as she heard the feet creep behind her like mice she knew what they were. They tormented her all her given days they caused the bruises along her arm the deep cuts along her already bruised stomach and along her fragile legs.
She wore long skirts and detailed long sleeves to cover up the marks that ran from finger to shoulder like a mountain range. yet noone saw the marks or any of the pain stored up in her deep eyes that were a lovely scarlet red which clashed with her dashing curly blonde hair that ran down her cheeks and kissed her shoulders.
she had to cover it or admit to it which she in her self didnt want to do. she didnt want people to know of her troubled life she jus wanted people to see her and think nothing of pity towards her. she had few friends none close to her to help her in her time of needs and no ememys within her class. yet she still lived with the people who hurt her and left her in states that almost killed her but she herself learned to cover that pain and cover the marks of any of it occuring in any way she could. | | 0 @ 07-04-2005 21:27 jamesey | 11,431 posts
| wow i so cant be botherd to read all these, i used to do these but i dont remember them now | | 0 @ 07-04-2005 21:37 dontavvaclue | 1,290 posts
| lol | | 0 @ 04-06-2005 17:40 Sadi | 115 posts
| i wrote this forever ago for english class. hope it doesn't bore u or anything. tell me what u think.
Fever
The cold crept into my room in the middle of the night, burying itself deep inside me. No matter how tightly I pulled the covers around myself, I couldn’t escape it. All my energy was being sucked out, and my head was pounding. I forced myself to whisper, “Mom.” No answer.
“Mom.” I said a little louder. Still nothing.
“Mom!” I said as loud as I could without waking up everyone else in the house. I heard my parents’ bed creak, and a moment later Mom was standing in my doorway.
“What is it Melissa?”
“I think I‘m sick.”
“Okay. Can you get down?”
“I think so.” I forced my body to do something it strongly resented: climbing down the ladder of my loft bed. Once I had thumped down, I picked my way to the door, stepping onto little spots of floor peeking out through books, magazines, CDs, and clothes.
“Come on,” Mom said groggily as she walked to the stairs. I staggered after her.
“101. You‘ve got a fever,” she said, looking at the thermometer a few minutes later.
“Great,” I replied.
“Do you want to go back upstairs? We can put the little TV in your room.”
“Sure.” If I had the TV in my room, being sick wasn’t all that bad, even if the TV couldn’t play DVDs.
I stumbled back up to my room and Mom hauled the small TV from her room and hoisted it onto my dresser. I laid Mom’s yoga mat on the floor, and dragged my sheet, comforter, and pillow down to create a makeshift bed.
“Which movie do you want?” Mom asked once I’d buried myself in the covers.
“Can you bring my Gilmore Girls tapes?” I asked in a muffled voice through the comforter.
“Sure.”
I peeked my head out when I heard the familiar lyrics of Carole King‘s “Where You Lead,” the theme song of Gilmore Girls.
I awoke a few hours later when the first rays of sunlight sliced through the darkness of my bedroom. It was heat’s turn to invade me. I crawled out of my blanket cave and changed from long pjs to shorty-shorts. Then I headed for the living room to get another movie. I finally settled on the hilarious "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" to lighten my dark mood. I took it to the playroom, which is the coldest room in the house. Halfway through the movie Dad, Mom, Evan, Anthony, and Lindsay came downstairs for breakfast, and an hour later I was alone with our cat, Solly. I went into the living room after the movie was over and turned on the radio. Cold had invaded me once again, but it wasn’t as bad this time, and my headache was gone. When Mom came home from dropping Evan, Anthony, and Lindsay off at school, she found me in my usual position: curled up on the couch with my book and the music cranked. | | 0 @ 28-10-2005 13:26 musiclover342 | 
1,408 posts
| It might suck, but its my first ever short story. I tried really hard on it too, but when i read it to my class everyone was sleeping. Tell me what you think.
There is more to it too but i'm not finished with it. anyway just read it.
---------------------------------------------------
Take Me All the Way
It got darker earlier now. The autumn wind blew leaves past deserted streets. A cold night was approaching. The moon was bright and full, and birds were preparing for the dreary days ahead. Families were out admiring Halloween decorations. Children were talking about the costumes they were going to wear. Life was going on as if it never happened, as if everything was normal. But he knew it wasn’t normal. He knew nothing ever would be.
In a small town is where it happened. A town where one was known by all, and everyone was friendly. Everyone participated in the activities of the town. Except for one. A young boy of about sixteen years, Gabriel, was a small child with a great imagination. His house was big and supposedly haunted, and his parents were always away. The townspeople were friendly to him, but he shied away at any sign of compassion. He was cold and dark, and kept to himself. He talked to no one, and rumors began to form that he was unable to speak, a mute, dumb.
He had no human friends. The kids at school bullied him, pushed him around. His small, frail frame was easily taken advantage of. His only true friends were his books. There they were, his rows upon rows upon rows of books, some of his own creation. Books of every genre: Romance, Classical, Mystery, Horror. His favorite of all time were the grotesque writers, ones who wrote about death and suspense. He spent all his time reading books by Edgar Allen Poe, Stephen King, and Dean Koontz, to name a few. When he read these mysterious, awe-inspiring books, they made his spine tingle. How he longed for a taste of some suspense in his own life! How he longed for a true friend to share his books with!
Weeks go by, days, hours, and Halloween slowly approached town. Gabriel hoped and prayed Halloween would bring him a friend, someone to talk to, someone to walk with. But Halloween came slowly, crept about, as a caterpillar on a leaf. Soon enough, a family moved into the town. The family was small, consisting of a teenage boy and his mother. The boy was small and mousy, with dark black hair that contrasted against his pale white skin. He was short and skinny, with a small frail frame. He was just like Gabriel. But he didn’t notice. Gabriel was intrigued by him.
It was hours before he mustered up the courage to speak. He walked to the boy’s house, carrying a friend along with him. He approached the boy’s house cautiously, as if nervous. He rang the doorbell and the noise echoed through the house. Gabriel listened closely. A mousy boy came and answered the door.
“Hello?” the boy said shyly.
“Hi.” Gabriel attempted. His voice was high and shaky. “My name is Gabriel, but you can call me Gabe. I live down the street.” The small boy looked up at Gabriel, his gray eyes shining with excitement and terror. “Oh, and this is Edgar.” Gabe added, holding up a leather-bound book.
The boy’s eyes got wide with passion. Slowly he said, “Hi Gabe. I’m not sure I have a name.”
Meeting this boy was the highlight of Gabriel’s day. Oh, what joy he had found! A new friend meant new experiences, new thrills! Gabriel skipped nearly all the way home. He had such a passion, such a love for this nameless friend of his. He felt chills run up and down his spine when he thought about him, this nameless character, and how strange he was. His gray eyes were always sad, even when he smiled. Gabriel shrugged it off quickly. It didn’t matter, for he had a friend. A friend to share things with, a friend to take on adventures.
Then it happened. It came swiftly, unexpected, like dying. No one expected it, especially not these two. If only he was not so small, if only they hadn’t said those words, Gabriel thought over and over. They would still be here. He would still be here, and I would still have a friend. Life is believed to take its time and leave slowly. But not for him. Gabriel never forgot those words, and they never forgot him. Often they would come to him, in dreams, in nightmares, while walking down the street. Those five small words meant nothing apart, but they meant everything to Gabriel. “Take me all the way.” He couldn’t shake them.
“How do you like your classes so far?” Gabriel asked his new friend.
“I like them okay. Nothing like the classes I used to take.” He replied. His eyes were mysterious. Gabriel looked at them for a long time.
“What classes did you used to take?” He asked finally. His curiosity had gotten the best of him. As his friend opened his mouth to speak, a husky male of about six feet pushed him. As he fell forward all of his books came crashing down to the ground. Gabriel rushed to his aid. “Are you alright?” he asked, worriedly. He carefully picked up the books and brushed off their covers. “That is no way to treat a book, or a person.” He told the boy. He laughed and pushed Gabriel to the ground, too. As he walked back to his group of peers, they patted him on the back and slapped high-fives.
Gabriel cried when he got home. Never, in all his time of being in this town had he ever experienced such a horrid thing. He wanted to blame someone, anyone, but he could not place it on his new friend. No, not he, with his mysterious gray eyes and wonderful previous life! Nothing could be lovelier than to have a friend like him. If only he had a name. Later on that night, Gabriel received a phone call. “It’s okay for them to have treated me like that, but not you. We will seek revenge. Won’t we?” his mysterious friend had a hint of seriousness in his voice. Gabriel thought this over. It was just like his friends Stephen and Dean had told him. Suspense begins with revenge. Oh, how he had waited patiently for this day to happen! He agreed at once, feeling a slight rush as his friend told him his plot. They would follow through with the plan one step at a time.
They plotted and planned, and soon, they put their plan to work. They lured the boy into the woods by the creek. Careful planning insured he was unaware of his demise. They slaughtered him there, by the creek, then threw him in the lake. Afterwards, Gabriel was shivering with fear. “We’re going to be in trouble.” he said to his friend. His friend’s mysterious eyes were bright and glowing. “No, we aren’t. No one saw. No one knows.” Gabriel couldn’t help but feel a little queasy. This wasn’t the suspense he wanted. His guilt overpowered him. This isn’t the suspense he had read about.
He tried explaining his queasy feelings to his friend, but he didn’t seem to understand. “No one will know unless you tell them. Just be calm.” was all he could get out of his friend. “But we killed someone!” Gabriel cried. “No we didn’t. Don’t you ever say that we did.” His friend said fiercely. Gabriel was scared even more now. The guilt and shame wouldn’t go away. He tried multiple ways to make them leave, until the only viable option was to tell someone. He began by practicing in the bathroom at school. After checking to see if all the stalls were empty, and they appeared to be, he began to practice in front of the mirror.
“He had bullied us once. My friend said revenge was inevitable. He said that we were going to have him feel what he did to us. To my friends, Edgar and Nathaniel, that he pushed to the floor ever so furiously, and he destroyed their bindings and bent their pages. He said we would do the same. I thought it would be okay, that’d we’d just scare him up a bit. But we did so much more than that. We killed him. I know what my consequences are, and I’m willing to take them. I can’t live with this guilt anymore.” After practicing this several times, he decided to take his story to the police. After school, he and his friend were walking home. He wanted to tell his friend what he was going to do. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, a truckload full of boys, similar to the one they killed, drove up to him.
“Revenge is inevitable.” The driver said. Gabriel’s heart pounded through his chest, and his body shook with fear. They had heard him! But weren’t the stalls empty? Yes, they had appeared to be… But none of that mattered. They were going to get him. They brought out pipes and knives and swooped them up in the car.
“We’re gonna let you two really have it!” One said.
“Well, take me all the way.” his mysterious friend said. | | 0 @ 05-11-2005 20:36 Sk8erchick4u | 91 posts
| wow ash that was wow, damn it was awsome. Great writer right here peeps. Keep it up ash. Good Job Good Job , What, Good Job Good Job!  |
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