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The Poem Corner!

23-06-2003 08:06

Guinness1759

5,220 posts

Hi!
I don't know if ther's already a thread about this, but I know you all are very creative and artistic, and I know some of you write poems.
Well, basicly her's where you post your poems (or someone else's) and hope your friends could give you comments about them.

I'll srart then. This is a poem I wrote a while ago and I really wanted to shear it with someone. I had to translate it from hebrew though, so it might not sound as good.

Self Portrait
--------------
You,
look in the miror
you see you didn't shave this morning, you
see the eyes
that refuses to open.
a dream is forgotten
something inside of you tells you
to look at you again.
a coulpe of hopes you once had,
drown with the teeth-brushing water
making it's way in the sewage's maze.

You stop watching.
after all, you
know what your face look like.
you know each wrinkle and each scar
and you can tell the story of
each one and one.
the thoughts are running within you
and you
shake them, wipe them, depart of them.

You are alive.
nothing more.

Showing posts 26-50 of 1,889

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Reactions
23-06-2003 12:42 Snowdrop
6,177 posts	hey wow... that's so great, really!!!! please put some other ones in here!!!!!! look, many many smiley's that are waiting for another one of your poems!!!!
23-06-2003 12:46 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	hmmmmm, these are all so very good.... I thought I was alright at poetry, but nevermind now... Dekar there just kicks some poet ass, and same with the rest of you.... im not gonna waste my time posting a poem
23-06-2003 12:49 Dekar
36,178 posts	Well the bathroom is currently occupied, so I can throw out another one before I get a chance to get in there. lol ----------My Day Off---------- Good morning, good morning It's time to rise and shine Time to awaken from my slumber Time to raise this head of mine Time to turn off the alarm Time to step into the shower Time to read the newspaper For informational power Time to take my vitamins Time to make some food Time to put on some clothes And not walk around in the nude Time to do something useful Time to get the job done Time to stop acting retarded Time to stop having fun Time to grow up And take responsibility Time to be a man Time to be the real me Time to go out into the world Time to make myself known Time to show them who I am Time to show them how I've grown Time to make my mark on the planet Time to leave my legacy behind Time to use my most powerful weapon Time to use my mind Time to stop being so weak And to raise my groggy head Time to......oh fuck it I'm going back to bed
23-06-2003 12:50 Guinness1759
5,220 posts	of course you are! You have nothin' to be ashamed of, c'mon. If you want to read our poems we want to read yours too! here, have some of the smilys karin gave me (hope you approve snowdrop, Crazy seems to need it more than I do) so here- and a special from me!
23-06-2003 12:52 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	begins to cry that was wonderful Dekar... lol
23-06-2003 12:53 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	thnx guinness, well i got to and find one of my poems in my room then type it in... so it'll be like 10mins
23-06-2003 12:55 Guinness1759
5,220 posts	obviusly I ment to post that last post of mine before Dek's poem (a charming one may I add) and it was ment to Crazy.
23-06-2003 12:58 Snowdrop
6,177 posts	lol Dekar!!! you're so very talented (and this is NOT ironic!!!!!) it's so great to read all your poems, mine are so depressing all the time... that's stupid!!! oh and no, of course I didn't mind that you gave my smileys away... whipes a tear away
23-06-2003 13:01 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	ok, this is the poem I wrote about and gave to my bestfreind who was moving away Bestfriend's should never lose eachother But still you go away I'm gonna stay in the side the right now I'm not fit to go out today I'll miss when you leave here This stupid crumby town Just remember that we'll be friends forever If you ever start to frown Why things happen the way they do I'll never understand If I could I would go change it But I'm not a big enough man You've changed my life in so many ways You've changed mebeyond belief I'll never have another friend like you Because your the coral to my reef
23-06-2003 13:09 Guinness1759
5,220 posts	I know I would be glad to get a poem like that from my friends. Hope he/she appriciated your poem 'cause it's very good.
23-06-2003 13:10 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	thanx guiness.... it does mean alot to get good comments from ppl
23-06-2003 13:20 Snowdrop
6,177 posts	yeah, crazy... that's really beautiful!!! I just gotta ask you all a question... do you think that poems have to rhym, or is this not important at all?
23-06-2003 13:21 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	i wanna read more poems
23-06-2003 13:22 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	it isnt important, whats important is that it means something to you.. if it doesnt... then the poem isnt worth much
23-06-2003 13:24 Snowdrop
6,177 posts	yeah, that's just what I think!!!! Hhm... I'd have some other poems, but they're all nonsense... though they do mean a lot to me... but they're all completely wrong English I guess
23-06-2003 13:26 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	well, i want ppl to post more poems because i love poetry.... so please keep posting and im outa here.... finally maybe ill get a life and leave the forum for a while walks away and begins to cry because of missing his computer
23-06-2003 13:27 Guinness1759
5,220 posts	O course they don't have to ryhm! I almost never write with rhyms. sure, if you could use a ryh, that doesn't damage your structure and what you wan't to say than it's all good, but you shouldn't be limit yourself just because you can't find the right ryhm.
23-06-2003 16:17 Guinness1759
5,220 posts	remember when i said you don't have to post your own poems? so here's one by my fav. poet. his name is Dan Pagis. he's Israeli and wrote in hebrew so my translation may not reflect how amazing he really is. well, this is one of his best, and I would like to dedecate it to all you "love-sick" ppl: Forty degrees ---------------- to forget you for one night: a brief nap from a fever. to forget, to sink. but only a fake healing this is. at dawn, once again the infected blood attack. forgetting you is the slight shake between the shiver for you and the shiver for you.
23-06-2003 16:55 Rufio
88 posts	heres one from 2pac... I Cry Sometimes when I'm alone I Cry, Cause I am on my own. The tears I cry are bitter and warm. They flow with life but take no form I Cry because my heart is torn. I find it difficult to carry on. If I had an ear to confiding, I would cry among my treasured friend, but who do you know that stops that long, to help another carry on. The world moves fast and it would rather pass by. Then to stop and see what makes one cry, so painful and sad. And sometimes... I Cry and no one cares about why.
23-06-2003 17:04 blue_ice_dragon
145 posts	i one this for mybrother for he doesnt know the truth aout hes pet budgie......s ------my brothers budgie------- i saved a budgie from a next door neibour he became my brothers until it flew in to the toaster so it went to the "budgie farm" to visit the "budgie barn" to make some a friend we told him so he came back with a friend who turned out to be a fiend her name was marbles and i think she lost them she was most definatly a fiend i wish i relised my brother budgie who was trained to ride a buggy was having prblems with his wife who was holding a knife marbles was succesful ozzy (the budgies name) was ungreatful he lived for 4 months instead of 120 this time he comefrom the vet and do you want to bet that this time its a she and not a he but dont tell my brother marbles doesnt have any one to pick on because "ozzyna"(lol) is bigger and older "dont pick on me " she says "or youll end up in a early grave" and marbles backs ofin a strop thats it for now who can tell the future how what will happen next write to me in a text thats it for now oh no guess whats happened now... ok so it a bit over exagranted but oh well so what you think?
23-06-2003 18:59 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	i vote interesting
23-06-2003 20:53 Guinness1759
5,220 posts	Defenetly a complexed mind... liked it though
23-06-2003 21:37 cRaZy_T
2,193 posts	yupp, most poetry is awesome
23-06-2003 21:57 cheech
9,352 posts	ok im bord this one is also on my website its called fight I turn my head And look to the floor You yell and scream just like before The same old words I've always heard This fight won't stop I have learned You scream of brother And of me You're killing the family Don't you see Fights so heated The glasses shatter And to you it Doesn't matter You take your drink And drive away You hurt my mom Just like the old days I hate you so much I can't stand your face Please never come back To this place peace cheech
23-06-2003 22:34 gorchitsa
413 posts	clears throat and stands on a small stage in a empty and dark little cafe on the back streets of downtown NY Ugh......what scary people clears throat once more " I'd like to recite this poem....that has become so dear to me over the years..... Roses are red Violets are blue........" SMACK! (I get hit in the head with a tomato) "Please you lovely people....let me go on..... Roses are red.... Violets are......." "OUTCH! Hey...what the big idea?" tons of veggies are now being thrown at me....uncontrolably! I run out of the cafe onto that dark little street still screaming my poem... "ROSES ARRRREEE RRRREEEEEDDDD! VIIIOOOLLLLETTTTTSSSSSS AAAAAARRRREEE......" SMACK! "okay......I give up........some artist just are not appreciated

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