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The Poem Corner!
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@ 23-06-2003 08:06 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| Hi!
I don't know if ther's already a thread about this, but I know you all are very creative and artistic, and I know some of you write poems.
Well, basicly her's where you post your poems (or someone else's) and hope your friends could give you comments about them.
I'll srart then. This is a poem I wrote a while ago and I really wanted to shear it with someone. I had to translate it from hebrew though, so it might not sound as good.
Self Portrait
--------------
You,
look in the miror
you see you didn't shave this morning, you
see the eyes
that refuses to open.
a dream is forgotten
something inside of you tells you
to look at you again.
a coulpe of hopes you once had,
drown with the teeth-brushing water
making it's way in the sewage's maze.
You stop watching.
after all, you
know what your face look like.
you know each wrinkle and each scar
and you can tell the story of
each one and one.
the thoughts are running within you
and you
shake them, wipe them, depart of them.
You are alive.
nothing more. |
| Showing posts 1-25 of 1,876 | Page 1 of 76 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 23-06-2003 09:48 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| So?
no comments?
here I am, being all artistic, and you don't even bother telling me to keep my day job! 
I don't care! Van-Gou (I think that's how you spell his name) never sold a painting in his life! so there! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 10:09 Plantagenet | 
12,864 posts
| heyhey, wait!! I'm just here!!!
It's really Good!!!! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 11:38 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| hey Yochai!!!!
look, here I am!  you told me to come here, and where did I go?
yeah, your poem is really good... I wrote some too, but I'm not too sure about them, I think they're just baaaaaaaad!!!!!!!!!!! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 11:44 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| PLZ post them here!
I was brave enough to post my crappy poem so you have nothing to fear! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 11:47 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| ahhh well... it's nonsense, but ok... would you mind if it's also something with a mirror?
oh this is going to be so embarrassing!!! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 11:49 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| No it won't, and I'll be glad to read another miror poem.
 - a shiny smile of encourgement. | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 11:51 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| ohhhhh well.... it's NONSENSE!!! but ok...
What do you see?
What do I see when I’m looking into the mirror?
I see my face, there is a smile – at first
But then there are tears – hiding behind the smile
I see my face, crying and afraid
What do I see when I’m looking into my eyes?
I see tears – a lonely gleam that’s leading inside my heart
Once they couldn’t stop smiling
I see my eyes, crying and afraid
What do I see when I’m looking into my heart?
I see scars, the scars he left behind by tearing at my heart
Once there was love inside my heart – because of him
I see my heart, lost and afraid
What do you see when you’re looking at me?
Do you see that I’m crying?
Do you see the scars on my skin, the scars inside my heart?
What do you see?
Why don’t you see my broken heart? …
| | 0 @ 23-06-2003 11:58 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| Wow, I think It's pretty good!
You really got to me there.... | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:02 Dekar | 36,095 posts
| Sure, why not? I used to write poems before I discovered the fun of parodies! Now I only write those...speaking of which, I should write one soon. Maybe this weekend when I get a littl emore time to myself.
I hate a bunch I'd like to share, seeing as I haven't really shown many my stuff. I like them, and SO SHOULD YOU!!!!
----------Bad Day----------
It's a beautiful morning
I step out of bed
I slip on the cold floor
And bang the side of my head
I'm feeling hungry
I need something to eat
I open the fridge
To find nothing but rotten meat
I make myself some coffee
To sip while I clear my head
But these butterfingers spill it
All over me instead
I step outside
To see this beautiful day
But the light is now gone
And the skies are full of grey
The clouds in the sky part
But I can still see no sun
Only a bolt of lightning
That leaves me well done
I try not to get depressed
And pity myself and pout
So I get myself dressed
But my clothes are inside-out
I put on some warm clothes
To ward off the cold and the wet
But the sun comes out and shines
And now I'm covered in sweat
I step into the shower
To clean off the dirt and mold
But the hot water is off
And the shower is freaking cold
I turn on my computer
And I see a sudden flash
My computer is saying to me
"Hey, guess what, Matt?" *CRASH*
I pick up the telephone
To converse with a close friend
"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."
I hear from the other end
It's getting late, it's night time
I turn on some lights to see
But as soon as I turn them on
They all burn out on me
I climb back into bed
Hoping my bad luck will go away
But I toss and turn and can't fall asleep
This just really isn't my day | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:02 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| thank you!!!
I think it's quite boring... but somehow just what I feel... weeeeeeeeell... lets change the subject, this is depressing!
do you have another poem? | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:09 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| My poems are too long, and it takes for ever to translate them.
Matbe Dek has another one, he's poem was funny (hope you ment it to turn out like that) | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:11 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| yeah, it's good!
oh, that's bad... they're all in Hebrew, how many did you write? | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:12 Dekar | 36,095 posts
| Sure, I have 20-something of them. lol Most aren't funny though, and I'm not a fan of the canonical rhyming structure either, even though most of mine seem to turn out like that. Here's another...
----------Love Poem----------
Love exists in a realm of its own
It's outer-worldly but it's close to home
Humans can feel it, animals can too
I have felt it, the same goes for you
Being loved is an experience like no other
What two creatures feel for eachother
You could feel love for your dog or cat
And they'll love you no matter where you're at
Human, animal, object, plant
Pet, plush toy, a child, your aunt
It exists in each one of these forms
It will hit you like the greatest of storms
It will read you like the most wonderful book
It will take you into its little nook
It'll caress your heart and play with your soul
It'll drain you of fear and fill your black hole
It's there for healing the wounds of everyone
It's what keeps you warm when there is no sun
It is the one element that cannot die
It will never disappear, it will only hide
It will come back out when the time is right
It will come out when your life is night
It's inside each of us, and there it resides
It even loves you too, and in you it confides
Listen to what love says, it is never wrong
It will tell you what you didn't know all along
It shows you the way when you are lost
It takes you in when you've been tossed
It'll be there for you when you feel alone
Don't push it away, embrace it, take it home
Take love by the hand, you'll be just fine
It thinks you are beautiful, even though it's blind | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:12 fruity | 
12,214 posts
| Dek! a very nice song! i'm impressed! I do! wow, a bad day... wht an optimistic subject 2 write a song about.... keep them goin, dood, they cheer me up! lol | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:15 CatX3 | 2,296 posts
| -Complexity in Basics-
A picture tells a thousand words
But my picture does not speak
A cold harsh world in which you live
Ignorance is bliss
A story creates an image
But my story remains blank
A dark street in which I walk
Safety is absent
A smile can spread like fire
But my fire has long burnt out
A gloomy box in which I lie
Comfort is impossible
A hero can save a life
So where is my saviour?
A constant battle in which I fight
Failure is inevitable
A friend can break a fall
But my fall would break a friend
I believe in a companion’s comfort
Happiness is essential
---------------------------------
-Drowning Shallows-
Awake is like a nightmare,
Asleep is the same,
The pain in this world is draining,
Everyday I think of ending it all,
The option is to exit,
The only way is to bow out,
I’ve had my turn,
And owe it to myself,
To end this shame.
The tears would then stop,
The tears are so continuous,
I forget why I started crying,
But just one look at myself,
And my excuse for a life,
Soon reminds me,
Of the reason nobody surrounds me.
The people that do talk to me,
Only tell me to stop caviling,
And get it over and done with.
The only thing I will have done
Successfully in my life,
Is take their advice and use it.
------------------------------------
sorry a lot of them are quite depressing... but I saw that someone wasn't too impressed that not many were putting poems on there... I guess I should try and write a happy poem one day... oh well hope they kept you entertained for 30 seconds... my teacher didn't like them that much I don't think...  | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:17 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| oh wow... that's really great, really!!!
hey fruity, they're cheering you up??? really? the last one almost made me cry... yeah pathetic I know... but still...
well, my poems somehow never rhym, but they do have some kind of structure, anyway, they're nonsense! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:18 CatX3 | 2,296 posts
| oh by the way guiness... I thought your poem was lovely... the ending was very dramatic.... and hey if you can be as famous and as sucessful as van Gough don't let anybody stop you!!
cheers! | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:19 Dekar | 36,095 posts
| Okay, I'll suck it up and give one more for now. (I have to go really soon so this is all I have time for.)
This one I wrote immediately after the last Superbowl finished. A friend and I had a bet in which whoever won, got to throw it in the loser's face however they wanted. Since my opponent was a femaler, I decided to be lenient and wrote something for her. Hee hee. You can tell that I enjoyed Shania Twain's halftime performance too. 
----------Afterbowl----------
"America the Beautiful"
A song for the American
Was sung by Celine Dion
An ugly, skinny Canadian
The players passed and caught
We watched the scoring
Cheering for our team
It was seldomly boring
Halftime entertainment
Was loud and fun
Though it was half over
The game had just begun
Oakland tried as they could
And scored a few majors
But the Gods on this night
Gave Tampa a few favours
Tampa Bay triumphed
Despite the sweat and the pain
And while the champs lift the trophy
I'm horny for Shania Twain | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:20 Snowdrop | 6,156 posts
| I meant Dekar's poem in my last post, but yours are also really great, CatX3... your teacher read them? what did he say? | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:22 fruity |
12,214 posts
| omg, Dek, wht a beautiful poem! I'm starting 2 adore u... | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:22 fruity |
12,214 posts
| I meant the love poem.... | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:25 Dekar | 36,095 posts
| *blush* Teehee! okay, just because that made me giggle like a little schoolgirl, I'll put another sappy one.
----------The Game----------
I sit there at the table
Ready, willing, and able
Straight-faced, with a sturdy chin
I know that I shall win
The man to my left, and the man to my right
Have been waiting to win and drain me all night
The dealer deals the cards and I look at my hand
Wave the smoke from my eyes, using my cards as a fan
I see a handful of Kings and a Joker by the side
With his evil laugh and that smile so wide
He's pointing at me and cackling away
I hold no Queen near me while my life slips away
The dealer asks me to do as I'm told
So I drop my cards and I say "Fold"
I wait for the next hand patiently
While the others smile and win constantly
I take from my stack and I place another bet
Playing for hours against these men that I've never even met
My new cards reveal the King and Queen of Hearts
Side by side, yet they still seem so far apart
That Joker lurks by the side again
Still laughing at me with that devilish grin
I fear I'll never win
I stare at my cards, wishing it were true
So I'll keep on playing until I find the two
I'll keep on betting, I'll keep on losing
Why must this game be so confusing
I'm tired of this game, but I'm still forced to play
I can't leave the table, not now, not any day
But someday my cards will have the most perfect of arts
The King and the Queen, no Joker, and the Two of Hearts | | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:37 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| cool
well, here's another one:
Olimpic Games
-----------------
I eat the dust that you leave behind
Enjoy every bit of it, getting in my lungs
I'm failing the effort
to try, to reach, to climb
highyer
faster
stronger
and I'm getting tired of (just) watching
you alive
and I can't understand why is it so hard for me,
where everbody thrive
your'e living it
highyer
faster
stronger
I fell like shouting:
wait for me in this mad, far-away race
you are all growing up, setting the pace,
and I'm only dreaming
highyer, faster, stronger
| | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:40 Guinness1759 | 5,220 posts
| I knew you were all talented ppl!
CatX3- don't let your teacher get you down! You have a good thing going...
| | 0 @ 23-06-2003 12:41 Dekar | 36,095 posts
| Sounds like it would make a good song! Can I sing? |
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