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To My Dear Girlfriend (Wife)
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@ 14-01-2006 17:30 sarah_2204 | 3,593 posts
| TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND (WIFE):
During the past year I have tried to make love
to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
7 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hair-do
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because
I felt you move
TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND (HUSBAND):
I think you have things a little confused.
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone
kicked you in THE BALLS
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, playing video games etc. on TV.
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling,
what I said was,"Would you prefer me on my
back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.
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My friend sent me that e-mail a little while ago and i loved it
so i decided to share it with all of youuu : )
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. |
| Showing posts 1-10 of 10 | Page 1 of 1 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 14-01-2006 17:34 yumarlenehesayz | 
3,893 posts
| hahahh! that is Hilarious! | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:09 sarah_2204 | 3,593 posts
|
* offtopic :
shameless bump
glad you liked it
| | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:12 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,586 posts
|  | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:15 lindasugar | 
7,690 posts
| LOL very funny | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:17 fire_at_will | 2,308 posts
| haha thats great | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:18 JewUnit | 8,152 posts
| Haha Sara.  | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:22 sarah17 | 2,269 posts
| Yah that was good. | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:23 6Dollie6 | 17,554 posts
| hahahaha omg. that was cute  | | 0 @ 14-01-2006 18:31 sarah_2204 | 3,593 posts
| I got that e-mail ages ago as a forward.
i had to save it. : ) | | 0 @ 15-01-2006 17:11 Lyndzikins | 60 posts
| its gd hehe  luv lyndzi -x- |
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