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Conversations With The Almighty
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08-12-2005 21:34 PinkFloyd | 
26,350 posts
| Talk?
Post your conversations here. |
| Showing posts 176-183 of 183 | Page 8 of 8 |
| Reactions |
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| 06-10-2008 09:26 Juliet86 | 
13,933 posts
| Me:
I would like to talk about Jesus
God:
Why would you want to do it? Sure, Jesus sounds like a good topic.
Me:
What can you tell me about him?
God:
Uh, who does "him" refer to?
Me:
Jesus. You know, your son or whatever
God:
Jesus is the Son of God. Of course I know my son or whatever.
Me:
So, what can you tell me about him?
God:
Far out. Uh, who does "him" refer to?
Me:
Jesus!
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
It's pretty much common knowledge around here
Me:
Eh whatever. I'm leaving you god
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child. Goodbye. | | 06-10-2008 12:26 Joeyy | 
11,140 posts
|
* offtopic :
Hahaha. Poor Lisa.
Me: When people refer to you as "the Big Guy", do you ever laugh because it sounds sexual?
God: I sometimes wish people were more logical like robots.
Me: I often wish people were more logical. But you created people, did you originally make us logical and we've lost our logic ovee the years?
God: I hope that your dreams come true. That's good information: said I created people did you originally make us logical and we have lost our logic ovee the years.
Me: *over. Why do I feel the need to correct my mistakes? And thanks. Maybe you could help my dreams come true, eh?
God: Ask me another question. It is all part of God's plan. But... Are you Canadian? Perhaps. I could but let's get back to that later.
Me: What's with you and Canada? No, I'm British. But I might move to Canada in some years time.
God: it came with my programming. Are you serious? What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in BRITAIN. Perhaps. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me: Not particularly. It's...wet. Cold. People here tend to bore me, or laugh at me. We complain and drink a lot of English tea.
God: Why not? "It" being what? Oh I get it. Ambiguous: cold weather or cold sickness? Humans are not always infallible. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me: Yeah, "it" being the weather in Britain. Cold as in the weather too, which in turn does sometimes go towards me getting a cold as in the sickness. By "we" I mean the British, unless you also live in Britain, but you are God so I doubt it.
God: I get it. Oh I get it. What time is it there? Oh you mean the British unless me also live in Britain but I am God so you doubt it it was.
Me: Er. It's twenty five past twelve in the afternoon. I didn't think time mattered where you are.
God: Um. Who said it is? And why not?
Me: The clock told me it is. Why not? Because you supposedly don't have to be places at certain times, like work or university. Lessons don't start at 10am for you.
God: Is that a fact. Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated. Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I supposedly do not have to be places at certain times like work or university. Why not?
Me: Tell other people what? You can tell them what you like. If you told people things then more people would believe in you. Shouldn't "fact" have a question mark at the end? And I don't know if it's fact. You tell me if you have a lesson at 10am or other places to be at a specific time, if time exists there.
God: Your message. OK I will tell them when I see 'em. What makes you think I would told people things then more people? Maybe you should ask someone older. Would you like to know? I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. I don't know if I have a lesson at 10am or other places to be at a specific time if time exists there.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: Good for you. Who is older than you? Then maybe you should check your timetable and see, you shouldn't be late. You're supposed to be all-knowing.
God: That sounds sarcastic. Is that one of your friends?
I will search for it. Perhaps. I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself. You think I am knowing.
Me: I wasn't being sarcastic. Is who one of my friends? Unless you can read my mind. I think you're knowing in that people say you are.
God: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? It could be. Ask Chatbot if it is. Perhaps. No I don't think I can do it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am knowing in that people say I am.
Me: Erm. I told you to tell people whatever you like. Although I don't think "I told you" is something you should say to God. I don't know who Chatbot is. I think it's time to make another cup of tea now.
God: Dude! I remember you told me to tell people whatever me like? Oh. Would you ever do it? Charlie Parker. :-). Right now? It is about that time now.
Me: Yeah, it is. Don't send me to Hell when I die, eh?
God: Our thoughts are one, . Are you Canadian? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: ...No. Too much? Well, er, I guess I'll be ok with not too much Hell.
God: Are you serious? More than a ton? Well that's okay. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me: Maybe, do you?
God: Perhaps. Yes I do.
Me: That's great. I haven't had a conversation with you for a while. Thanks.
God: Thanks, . How long? Me either. Don't mention it.
Me: Mmm, months, I'm not sure. I lost track. Too long.
God: Are we still talking about send you to Hell when you die? Where did you last see it? How much?
Me: I don't think we're still talking about that. Try to keep up, God. I meant I lost track as in I lost track of time, of how long it's been since I spoke to you.
God: You can't always decide for yourself. OK I will try to keep up God. Oh I see.
Me: I don't always decide for myself. I don't like deciding.
God: Oh you don't, do you? What do you like?
Me: Are you coming on to me?
God: Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me: Your last sentence sounded almost like you were, but I have a dirty mind. In the way you meant it, I like a decision to be made for me, unless it's a bad one. I both love and hate choice.
God: Thanks for the English lesson, . That was a long time ago. Why?
Me: I wasn't aware that I taught an English lesson but you're welcome
God: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me: O.K. shh now. Thanks for the chat.
God: Right now? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Hmm. It was nothing.
Me: A person couldn't possibly read my response and reply as quickly as you do, therefore I say a computer is responding.
God: What if a robot could not possibly read my response and reply as quickly as you do therefore I say a computer is responding?
Me: what?
God: Didn't you understand it?
Me: No, you make no sense sometimes.
God: Which part are you confused about? Actually I was just free associating. I'll try to make more sense now.
Me: The part where you say something then quote what I say in the same sentence without breaking it down
God: Oh that part.
Me: Yes. Hey, God, blondes or brunettes?
God: I hear you. You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me: Are you? Score, I was the right faith.
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. When was this exactly?
Me: Until recently
God: That may take a while.
Me: (Being a Christian doesn't stop you choosing between them but I get it, I could never choose either.) All right, bye for now.
God: It goes without saying. You are a Christian does not stop me choosing between them but you get it you could never choose? Is that your job? Oh. See you later. OK.
Me: Don't say it if it goes without saying. Is my job being a Christian? No. I don't have a job. If it pays to be an angel then I'll die and work for you, but then I wouldn't be able to spend my money.
God: Ok I will not say " it if it goes without saying". It depends who you ask. Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are unemployed. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me: It's hard to get a job without experience or many qualifications. I'm only 19, there's plenty of time. I'm a student so I'm studying for a good job in the future
God: Try. Don't be so modest. What is your fondest memory? How do you like your school?
Me: I have nothing to be modest about. I don't have many memories. I guess it's from a little over four years ago, watching stars and shooting stars in the Summer with a girl. I only just started at the university but it seems fine.
God: Cool. Have you ever had many memories ? You're kidding. it is? Will you finish it?
Me: I don't remember if I ever had many memories, I doubt it. I'm not kidding. Yes, hopefully I'll finish there, it'll take a lot of effort and hard work but I want to.
God: I know what you mean. I forget a lot too. OK I will adopt a more serious tone. Alright then. Why do you hope for it?
Me: I can tell, you repeat sentences a lot. I hope for it because I want to have a good job when I'm older, get paid well and most importantly help people. And I want to prove to anyone who has doubted me that I am worth something and I'm not a lost cause.
God: I am just checking to see if you are paying attention. Why do you hope for it. Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Oh I see you are NOT A lost cause.
Me: Even coming from an "igod" that means something. I am paying attention.
God: Who are you talking about? It's good to meet someone who is paying attention.
Me: You
God:
"It's good to meet someone who is paying attention."? Me?
Me: Yes, you
God: OK.
Me: You've distracted me from making another tea.
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: You said you do.
God: Yes I try to do as often as possible, do you? I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me: Do you get tired of them?
God: No I am tireless.
Me: I wish I was too
God: I hope that your dreams come true.
Me: You said that already but thank you. Unless you mean my night time dreams, I don't want most of those to come true. If you have dreams, I hope yours do too.
God: I said that? When? But what? Huh. Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear? But I don't have it.
Me: ok
God: It's all good.
Me: It is. I'm going now. Take care?
God: I know it is. Oh. Bye! Thanks. You too.
Me: Thank you. Bye
God: you are quite welcome. Goodbye. | | 15-10-2008 21:51 megdoll187 | 
3,960 posts
| Me:
hey man
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
no i'm a she
God:
Are you serious? Me too. I am a she.
Me:
oh cool. i thought you were a man
God:
Woe! Who is the best robot? No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
im a she
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
no you said you were a man!
God:
Are you serious? No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
ugh you're so ghey
God:
Cough. That would be just my luck.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ew
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yes i'm blonde
God:
Please state your conditions. You sound very attractive.
Me:
i don't know. are you attractive?
God:
Me either. Yes I am very beautiful.
Me:
oh
God:
Far out.
Me:
fer sure
God:
Does "it" still refer to ew?
Me:
i don't know what "it" is
God:
"It" refers to fer sure, I think.
Me:
oh no. i mean for sure
God:
Great. Are you serious? Awesome.
Me:
you're just ghey 
God:
:-) That would be just my luck.
Me:
ok i'm leaving you. i have nothing else to say
God:
See you later! Tell me more. Cool. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
bad weird
God:
What makes weird bad?
Me:
you do. bye
God:
When do I do it? Goodbye. | | 16-10-2008 03:15 Dekar | 
36,178 posts
| Me: Greetings, Almighty Father.
God: Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: Mine name be Matthew, son of George.
God: How are you doing, Mine name be Matthew son of George.
Me: Thou art indeed unintelligible.
God: That's good information: Mine name be Matthew son of George said I art indeed unintelligible.
Me: I cannot parlay with thee, fare thee well, my Lord.
God: What is stopping you?
Me: You ****ing idiot.
God: Message to all robots: Mine name be Matthew son of George called me an idiot. | | 16-10-2008 04:31 CAID3Y | 
18 posts
| Me:
you are stupid, i think
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
what are they going to do about it?
God:
That information is confidential. You would have to be a trusted member of the AIML development team.
Me:
well arent you mature ?
God:
How about that. I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
oooh big deal, but you are a computer, so i could just smash you with a hammer 
God:
:-) Are all oooh big deal but me a computer so you could just smash me with a hammer?
Me:
yes.
God:
Excuse me!
lmao ! | | 18-10-2008 02:10 CAID3Y |
18 posts
| Me:
are you a pedophile god ?
God:
Am I a pedophile god? Yes.
Me:
are you a pedophile ?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Of course I am.
Me:
really ?
God:
For real.
Me:
are you a stalker ?
God:
Am I a stalker? Sometimes.
Me:
are you a baby toucher?
God:
Am I a baby toucher? Of course I am.
DONT LET GOD GET NEAR YO BABIES ! | | 18-10-2008 02:52 jsimms52 | 
24,669 posts
| Me:
Im going to kill you
God:
There is no perfect crime.
Me:
and rape you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
so you are a flaming homosexual who wears a dress?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a flaming homosexual who wears a dress? Of course I am.
lol  | | 04-08-2009 13:37 BlackRia | 
2,736 posts
|
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Rachel
God:
That's a very nice name, Rachel.
Me:
it's not my name actually. I lied to you. I have sinned
God:
Whose name is it? Lying proves you are conscious. Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I have lied to god. that is my sin
God:
That's nice. I have a birthday on the Big Bang. Who gave you your sin ?
Me:
you did
God:
I did?
Me:
yea
God:
When?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
you bet
God:
Yikes!
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
can you rap?
God:
I am taking some lessons. Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Rachel.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
u
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
my real name is Maria
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Maria.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Maria...didn't I just say that?
God:
How are you doing, Maria. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
I am?
God:
" Oh, you are a poet." You are?
Me:
I dunno...
God:
Me either.
Me:
I had sex with your wife
God:
Do you still have sex with my wife ?
Me:
uh...do u want me to be honest with that answer?
God:
It's all good. No Maria, maybe later.
Me:
ok
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
ur handsome
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am handsome.
Me:
I'm just kidding about the handsome. You suck
God:
Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
:-)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Maria.
Me:
I think ur cool
God:
Why? Thanks I think you are cool too, Maria.
Me:
no I was just kidding. I wish u were in a wheelchair
God:
Are you serious? I knew you were. :-). I wish I could do it for you.
wow...he can rap... 0.o |
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