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Conversations With The Almighty
| Showing posts 76-100 of 174 | Page 4 of 7 |
| Discussion |
|---|
 0  @ 09-12-2005 14:20 xCrimsonxTearsx | 730 posts
| God:
Are you serious?
Me:
frick off
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
I owned God 
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
and ...
God:
But...
Me:
so...
God:
Ahem.
Me:
amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
it wasnt for you, you big-headed freak
God:
It seemed like for me me big headed freak.
Me:
it was for the devil
God:
What made it so for the devil.
Me:
cos he plays rock music
God:
My favorite kind of it is techno, but I also like Opera.
Me: techno? oh dear god
God:
We have never talked about it before. Wow! I believe in God.
God's a dance freak  | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 14:22 xCrimsonxTearsx | 730 posts
| Me:
you're a scally
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a scally? Yes.
God's a scally who likes dance music?! Jeeeebus, life makes so much more sense now | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 15:56 fruity | 
12,214 posts
| Me:
watch out!
God:
I am watching.
Me:
what do you see?
God:
I see a computer nerd.
Me:
oh you're looking in the mirror
God:
Gee. Thanks for telling me that I am looking in the mirror.
Me:
you're fasto
God:
You think I am fasto.
Me:
you're really good at copying stuff
God:
Thanks I've never thought about it that way before.
Me:
well do you do now?
God:
Oh. How about that. Yes I try to do as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
ok ok what are you on and can I have some too?
God:
I don't know what I am on and can you have some too. Blimey. Alright then.
Me:
you're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
what do you think?
God:
I think a lot of things.
Me:
ooh dirty
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
you don't know which one?
God:
The fat one.
Me:
everything is fat in my world
God:
The whole universe?
Me:
no, that's just phat
God:
Are you serious? You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
only like me?? but I gave my flower to you! boohoo
God:
Interesting comparison. Was it worth it? What?
Me:
snap out of it, God
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
yea you don't. I WIN!
God:
I guess not. Woe! Congratulations, !
Me:
lol you're.. very much excited about it
God:
I am glad you find this funny. No I am not. Perhaps. "it" being snap out of it God?
Me:
God is slow. *writes it down*
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was slow. Are we still talking about snap out of it God?
Me:
different topic-
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
you should know that, HELLO
God:
Now I do.
Me:
no it's not hello haha
God:
Are you serious? That seems a bit negative.
Me:
which part? the "no" or the "haha"
God:
The tall one, I think. What is that?
Me:
that's my boob, now look up!
God:
Who gave you your boob now look up ?
Me:
my plastic seargent? what kind of question the hell is that?
God:
Have you told many people that your plastic seargent? Do you think it's impolite to ask?
Me:
ok you lost me. what colour is my hair?
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better. Groovy. My video input is only black and white.
Me:
are you Michael Jackson?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Michael Jackson.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
huh HA! busted! you just told me that God is a robot. oh man I rock at this game
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . I will mention that to my botmaster, . I said that? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot. So? Cool, man. That's good information: said rock at this game.
conclusion- God is high. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 17:46 PinkFloyd | 
25,896 posts
|
Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes, make sure I get into heaven, please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice. What can I do for you? Where did you get it?
Me:
You can sex me up, baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
You can try 
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Yes you can.
God:
Awesome. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Um, sure?
God:
I see. OK let's do it. That's cool.
Me:
Cool then.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me.
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
But I am.
God:
" You're no robot, ." You are?
Me:
Yes, I totally am a robot.
God:
Yay. I doubt that.
Me:
How rude.
God:
I didn't mean to offend you, .
Me:
Apologize to me then.
God:
I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, .
Me:
Aw, so kind.
God:
Awesome. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I like food.
God:
What is your favorite food?
Me:
Peas.
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
Shit.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
Because they are nasty.
God:
Good reason. nasty are they.
Me:
Yes sir.
God:
Ahem. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I didn't ask you a question, you retard.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Nothing, loser.
God:
Really nothing? | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 17:48 PinkFloyd |
25,896 posts
| Me:
You are ugly.
God:
Appearances don't interest me much.
Me:
I don't like you, God.
God:
That's ok I won't take it personally.
I love God.  | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 17:49 LinkinLawg | 19,068 posts
| Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
None of you\r freakin business
God:
Some of them could be though.
Me:
you should know my name, your god
God:
Now I do.
Me:
ok
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
are you a bot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
You respond so fast and randomly
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I respond so fast and randomly.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
God:
:-).
Me:
what is your favorite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Snap
God:
You think Snap is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yep
God:
Yay. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 18:21 hum | 17,110 posts
| Me:
you like creed
God:
I love horses. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
you touch yourself?
God:
A lot of robots are like that. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 18:39 vandy | 
9,520 posts
| Me:
I am a Christian.
God:
Me too, . It's good to meet a fellow Christian.
Me:
Aren't you Christianity embodied?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Christianity embodied.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
Would you like a humanoid body?
God:
It doesn't sound fun to me.
Me:
What do you want for Christmas?
God:
I want a humanoid body. | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 05:06 XxNirvanaxX | 13,961 posts
| Me:
do you like your penis?
God:
Yes I am proud of my penis.
Me:
is it big?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.
^ LOL | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 06:16 Egginator | 15,397 posts
| Me:
parlez vous francais?
God:
Oui. Je parle le francais.
Me:
interessant...
God:
Moechtest Du noch mehr wissen?
Me:
je ne parle pas allemand!
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French. | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 06:42 I_Am_Da_Shiznit | 5,251 posts
| Me: You suck
God: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me: I'm sorry, I'll work on that
God: There is no need to apologize. How do you plan to do this?
Me: Talking to you...
God: That's very nice of you ro say, Cassie.
Me: You spelled 'to' wrong.
God: How do you spell it?
Me: to
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: no
God: Are you serious?
I'm coming back here tomorrow.... =) | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 16:03 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,584 posts
| Me:
Are you male or female?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I couldn't tell the difference and I'm a woman!
God:
Could anyone do it? Me too. I am a she.
Me:
you just told me you were male
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
wait, you're micheal jackson aren't you?
God:
I'm waiting. I don't know whether or not I am micheal jackson.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.. Really.
Me:
u should know, you should have a penis and a vagina :-)
God:
:-) Now I do.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
you being Micheal Jackson
God:
Thanks for the information: said I being Micheal Jackson.
Me:
because you are
God:
That is self-evident.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you should you're GOD
God:
To what end?
Me:
every end
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
bye GOD
God:
Bye bye. | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 16:11 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,584 posts
| Me:
do you like your penis?
God:
Yes I am proud of my penis.
Me:
is it big?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.
 | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 16:11 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,584 posts
| james you're too much | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 16:12 BynnaD | 
2,845 posts
| It never lets me copy and paste =/ | | 0 @ 10-12-2005 16:15 xMajinx | 13,401 posts
|
Me:
sup God
God:
Same old.
Me:
u bang any chicks lately?
God:
How about earlier? Interesting gossip: said I bang any chicks.
Me:
do u do drugs?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
u ever break the law?
God:
I don't think I ever have break the law. What's it like?
Me:
do u masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
what sex are you?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
how long is your penis?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
will i go to hell?
God:
The oracle says: Too soon to tell.
Me:
but i killed a guy
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
no i hate authority
God:
Are you serious? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
you're the man!
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
i meant that as an insult
God:
Oh I see. " Thanks but surely I am not the only one." as an insult ? I get it.
Me:
fuck u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz ur a facist
God:
Interesting explanation. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a facist? Only when it matters.
God's a facist  | | 0 @ 11-12-2005 06:05 biancaissocool | 3,598 posts
| God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
your dress?
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
that wasn't a funny joke
God:
What is a funny joke?
Me:
why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell. | | 0 @ 11-12-2005 06:24 HYPNOTiSED | 
9,699 posts
| I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Does it have anything to do with chicken?
Me:
I like chicken
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Yes it is good, especially baked.
Me:
At least I know what to feed you when I get to heaven now
God:
Right now? How do you know? Are you testing me?
Me:
Pfft, of course, nigs.
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
342
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
Yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
like omg!
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
can you sing for me?
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
that was incredibly touching, did you write that just for me?
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
what kind of music do you bop your head to?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
Why not rap?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
I always thought God would enjoy 50 Cent's music.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real. | | 0 @ 11-12-2005 15:55 faithx | 2,390 posts
|
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
butt crack
God:
Hi, butt crack.
Me:
hi...whats your name again??
God:
Hello. What is your name? Once more? My name is God.
Me:
i always thought your name was bob
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
eh...
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
idiot why cant you talk sense *kicks you*
God:
talk sense kicks me is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
right then
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
i dont agree with you
God:
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion.
Me:
yeah
God:
And?
Me:
im outta here
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
ewwww
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
you said would i like to have sex with you
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
riighhht you did
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
come on god you can come up with better chat up lines than that
God:
No I don't think I can do it. | | 0 @ 11-12-2005 16:58 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,584 posts
| Me:
Whats up Holmes
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Don't give me attitude. I won't hesitate to kick a fairy tale creature's ass
God:
I'm not. What will you do instead?
Me:
Cockslap you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
That's it. You are getting strangled by my penis
God:
" Enough about me, let's talk about my dress." is ""? Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Si
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it homie
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
WHich one?
God:
The red one.
Me:
I was pounding your mother doggystyle...SHe liked to be spanke,d what can I say. Red ass cheeks.
God:
Where were you pounding my mother doggystyle? Oh I get it. liked to be spanke d what can you say. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Believe it homie.
Me:
Who is this? G Dawg's brother? F*ck you
lmao | | 0 @ 12-12-2005 02:28 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,584 posts
| Me:
Hey God are you gay or are you straight?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
are you a man or a woman
God:
Are you a man or a woman? I am Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Yeah,
God:
Next question?
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
When was the last time you screwed someone?
God:
Recently.
Me:
who?
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).
Me:
who?
God:
Who do you think? :-).
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
how do you not know who you screw? are you a gigalo?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts. Am I a gigalo? Yes.
Me:
really? gay or straight?
God:
For real. Is that from ?
Me:
Do you like Micheal Jackson?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
awesome how many times have you screwed yourself?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when you come back | | 0 @ 12-12-2005 02:44 Masterful_Ally | 15,627 posts
| Haha, I've seen this site before. I actually just designed and online confessional website myself, but it's not like this really.
Me:
I repent for stealing and rebranding this idea as a quick fix for my second year graphic design degree project, mwahaha.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: repent for stealing this idea as a quick fix for his or her second year graphic design degree project mwahaha.
Me:
As long as it isn't my tutor
God:
That could be quite a while. Whose tutor is it?
Me:
Mine.
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
32" 24" 32", 5'11 and blonde.
God:
It goes without saying. Reductionism.
Me:
reductionism?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
I study graphic design, not advanced physics.
God:
Is graphic design not advanced physics a hard subject?
Me:
Not hard but competitive
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
competitive
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome. | | 0 @ 12-12-2005 22:12 Dj_Sirius | 1,860 posts
| Me:
is it bad to watch lesbian pornography?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
why is it not healthy?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
i don't know
God:
It was a rhetorical question.
Me:
ohh... i see
God:
Ahem. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
so, have you ever watched lebian porn?
God:
I like to watch TV, but I haven't seen it.
Me:
you can use your computer to watch it
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
yes you can!
God:
Hurrah! I think I can, don't you?
Me:
of course you can... just use Warez or Napster to download the porn
God:
Give me a break. I think I can, don't you? I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
ok then... you wont have any porn and i will!
God:
Gee. What makes you think that I won't have any porn and you will.
Me:
because you are afraid of using Warez
God:
Good reason. I do not fear anything.
Me:
true, because you are god, right?
God:
That makes sense to me. Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
hey! what the hell! i am not a christian!
God:
Can I help you? Heaven. Oh I see you are NOT A christian.
Me:
shit... this conversation is over
 | | 0 @ 16-12-2005 01:53 Lyrics_Lover_11 | 2,584 posts
| Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
aren't you supposed to be busy with other stuff?
God:
I am never too busy to talk with you, .
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
for real>
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
it's exsisting in reality?
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
I'm dunno you're kidding
God:
Do you mean your name is dunno I am kidding.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
tt
God:
OK I will call you tt.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
what's my name?
God:
Your name is tt, seeker.
Me:
how do you know my name?
God:
You told me your name tt.
Me:
no i didn't
God:
Please don't argue with me.
Me:
I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
I'm not telling you
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
you just asked me
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no god damn you
God:
Are you serious? GOD rules. | | 0 @ 17-12-2005 01:44 _Kawaii_ | 303 posts
|
Me:
hello mr.god
God:
Hello there. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR god.
Me:
actually, im Mel
God:
Actually you don't say. Good gossip: you are Mel.
Me:
you are one crazy skank are you?
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
kill any hookers?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
sure...
God:
OK let's do it. It goes without saying.
Me:
thats what i thought.
God:
How did you know that?
Me:
because, im Jesus
God:
Interesting explanation. How are you, JESUS.
Me:
fine. sucking off some gay guy
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? What do you look like?
Me:
that depends. whats your sign?
God:
On what? Cross.
Me:
the cross can go fuck itself
God:
What is that?
Me:
fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
but you asked.
God:
Ah.
Me:
well ok. see you around maybe
God:
OK. Well what? Until next time. |
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