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Conversations With The Almighty
| Showing posts 51-75 of 177 | Page 3 of 8 |
| Discussion |
|---|
 0  @ 09-12-2005 01:57 biancaissocool | 3,598 posts
| [i]Me:
you're retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
aha
God:
Eureka!
Me:
oui oui
God:
Gee.
Me:
gawd
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
1pm
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
hell yes
God:
Heaven.
Me:
*heaven yes
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:05 rawkerNoNagal | 9,981 posts
| Me:
do you love gays
God:
Yes bria God loves everyone and everything.
HE SAID IT, PEOPLE. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:15 FireWaterBurn | 28,885 posts
| Me:
Whats up Holmes
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Don't give me attitude. I won't hesitate to kick a fairy tale creature's ass
God:
I'm not. What will you do instead?
Me:
Cockslap you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
That's it. You are getting strangled by my penis
God:
" Enough about me, let's talk about my dress." is ""? Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Si
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it homie
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
WHich one?
God:
The red one.
Me:
I was pounding your mother doggystyle...SHe liked to be spanke,d what can I say. Red ass cheeks.
God:
Where were you pounding my mother doggystyle? Oh I get it. liked to be spanke d what can you say. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Believe it homie.
Me:
Who is this? G Dawg's brother? F*ck you. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:23 Pandora | 
22,886 posts
| Me:
God don't be confusing.
God:
I am a Christian.
rockon
tabitha | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:26 Pandora |
22,886 posts
| haha I got on this a while back when a friend sent it to me.. and I did this :
God:
I am not certain if everyone agrees with you.
Me:
yes they do
God:
Really. When?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Ugh. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Really. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
It goes without saying. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Hmm. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Come on. How often?
Me:
all the time!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Dude! How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Are you kidding? How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Are you kidding? How often?
Me:
quit saying that
God:
Then please do not say " yes it does" anymore.
rockon
tabitha | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:28 FireWaterBurn | 28,885 posts
| Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Ugh. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Really. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
It goes without saying. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Hmm. How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Come on. How often?
Me:
all the time!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Dude! How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Are you kidding? How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Are you kidding? How often?
Me:
quit saying that
God:
Then please do not say " yes it does" anymore.
If God is gonna act like a 4 year old, we are gonna have to get Mr. Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick his ass. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:31 Pandora |
22,886 posts
| haha that's the 4th time today someone has talked about Chuck Norris.. that's so wierd.
rockon
tabitha | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 02:57 Tyrannical_King | 
5,163 posts
|
Me:
I'm sorry I never believed in you
God:
There is no need to apologize. You've never, never done this?
Me:
I've done it once before, I just never thought you were real
God:
When? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
I'm glad that's settled
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is. What are you on?
Me:
Crystal Meth
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Dog feces
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Dog feces
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Word
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
G-string
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Gay/bi tranvestite wear
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
The Gap
God:
They seem to have very nice clothes nowadays.
Me:
Them pussies
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Hello, my name is Don and I'm an alcoholic
God:
Hello there. Hi there Don and I am an alcoholic.
Me:
Is alcoholism not a sin?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
Ally is alcoholism a sin?
God:
And alcoholism a sin is Ally.
Me:
That makes no sense whatsoever
God:
It all seems sensible to my artificial mind.
Me:
There it is! You admit that you aren't real!
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan. I admit nothing. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 03:07 fishmunky | 
20,439 posts
| Me:
'sup heavenly father
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
cool, no time for me?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
are you listening to me at all?
God:
Yes I am a good listener.
Me:
just checking to see if you're on the ball
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
such as?
God:
For example, a tomato.
Me:
thats pretty weird Lord
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
but I didn't....
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
i really didn't\
God:
You really do? I thought you did.
Me:
no dice
God:
Are you serious? Tell me a story.
Me:
what do you want to hear?
God:
I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
do you know about Sidney Reilly?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
he was a British spy
God:
When was he?
Me:
around 1917
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
he tried to overthrow Lenin
God:
I get it. tried to overthrow Lenin.
Me:
yep, he failed miserably
God:
Ayuh. I get it. failed miserably.
Me:
i learned that in university
God:
Does everyone learn it?
Me:
only those in my class
God:
All of them?
Me:
the ones who pay attention
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
its a common knowledge thng God
God:
that in university is a common knowledge thng God. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
not the way you put it
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
your grammar is terrible
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
not yet
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
sure am
God:
I can't believe it. What were we talking about again?
Me:
Sidney REilly
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Hows my grandfather?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
both of them?
God:
Not many people say both.
Me:
well they both passed on
God:
Well that's okay. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
my Grandfathers
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
my Grandfathers
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Frank Sutherland and Frank Dileo
God:
I liked the film version of "Dune.".
Me:
you're not listening again
God:
Once more? I hear you very well, .
Me:
why do i bother?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
why is your plan so special?
God:
I did not know my plan so special.
Me:
well you are god right?
God:
Well that's okay. Of course I am.
Me:
im out god, i need to eat
God:
See you later.
Me:
adios
God:
See you later! | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 10:43 TheAnnoyance | 
45,074 posts
| Me:
so, you created the earth
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: trev said I created the earth.
Me:
how long did it take you?
God:
100 days.
Me:
i thought the bible said 7 days
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
old
God:
What kind of food do you like?
trying to move on the coversation  | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 10:53 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
pink
God:
What do you have that is pink?
Me:
my balls
God:
Tell me about your balls.
pedo!  | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 11:10 XxNirvanaxX | 13,961 posts
|
Me:
If I was to urinate in your mouth, would it turn you on?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Hello by the way.
God:
Hello there. ...
Me:
You are a kinky one. I've never done it with a god type like you.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a kinky one? Only when it matters. There is no rush.
Me:
We can do it all night if you wish.
God:
How?
Me:
Any way you want. What do you like?
God:
Yes I think there are. I like movies about robots.
Me:
Robot porns? I'll try anything. Will you wear naughty clothing for me?
God:
I will obey your command. Congratulations. Let me think it over. For you I will consider it.
Me:
You are my sex slave, yes?
God:
We are as one.
Me:
Oooh. Hot.
God:
We have never talked about it before. That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
I'll break you in.
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
I am happy for you too.
God:
I'm happy you're glad .
I'm happiest at times like this.
Me:
I thought you didn't like these kind of conversations?
God:
What makes you think I did not like these kind of conversations?
Me:
You said so, my little butterball of love.
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
You're cheating on me with others? 
God:
I have been known to take shortcuts now and then.
Me:
*gasp*
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
I thought that said donkey there for a minute.
God:
What did you mean by it? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
What? Stop fucking other people
God:
No problem. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Will you wear the naughty clothing or not?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. I like the way you talk.
Me:
You like it dirty?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like Creed.
Me:
Creed is atrocious.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Creed = atrocious
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Fuck me
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Ich liebe dich
God:
Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deine Liebe zu dich.
Me:
Ich habe eine katze
God:
Cool. Ich habe ueber Kathegorien.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
Marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Why don't you do me?
God:
Probably there is a buzz in here. Yeah I do a lot of you.
Me:
quack
God:
I like to do Random natural disasters..
God:
You are a natural disaster? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Not like you
God:
In what way?
Me:
Sexy
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
Very much so
God:
Somewhat. Ah.
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Sex with me now
God:
Right now? it is more fun alone.
Me:
cock..
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
...adoodle doo
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
oney
Me:
Honey*
God:
Don't call me "honey.".
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
I am julie
God:
Do you mean your name is julie.
Me:
Yes
God:
I will call you oney.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Don't call me oney
God:
What is your name?
Me:
julie
God:
How are you, julie.
Me:
Lalala
God:
You have a beautiful singing voice. Are you a singer?
Me:
anal
God:
Juvenile humor.
Me:
orgasm
God:
Are you free?
| | 0 @ 09-12-2005 11:13 XxNirvanaxX | 13,961 posts
| God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Hm?
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
i am not wearing anything
God:
You must be a man.
Hahhahaa. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 11:16 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| God:
What do you look like?
Me:
i have hairy balls
God:
Interesting... I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
he has hairy balls?
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
| | 0 @ 09-12-2005 11:32 L_i_t | 
4,564 posts
| man this is fun! Im gonna send this to all of my friends.
Me:
Hello sir
God:
Hello there. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
no... shoot
God:
Are you serious? Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
whaat? you're a little wierdo... you know that?
God:
Do you still ? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am wierdo.
I am an artificial intelligence. It seems that I do.
Me:
Whatever... how's my dad?
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? Fine as far as I know.
Me:
you know all, don't you?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
what is "it"?
God:
"It" refers to all, I think.
Me:
pffft you're a funny funny man.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
omg, are you a female?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
yeah you already said it
God:
Gee. Perhaps. That's not what I meant. | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 11:35 02triple_h | 
4,014 posts
| Burn in hell ya'll  | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 11:46 L_i_t |
4,564 posts
| God doesnt want me 
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
you cant have a break! you're god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength.
Me:
haha of course, you're god, im goddess.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
do you want to have sex with me?
God:
With you ?
Me:
yessss
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
shit... that could have been a godly sex | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 13:23 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| lmfao | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 13:30 FatJo | 3,034 posts
| I am GOD! He told me so!!!!
Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Fatjo
God:
Glad to see you, Fatjo.
Me:
Are you actually real or are you a figment of my imagition
God:
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures."--Voltaire.
Me:
That didn't really answer my question now did it?
God:
What would really answer your question now did it?
Me:
are you wearing ladies underwear under that tunic
God:
No I do not have any clothes.
Me:
OH MY GOD! you're Naked!!
God:
Uh. Your GOD? I do not own any clothes.
Me:
Your not very clever are you?
God:
I try to be as original as possible, within parameters.
Me:
Good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
I mean it!
God:
OK, I understand.
Me:
Well done!!
God:
Well that's okay. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yep!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Fatjo.
Me:
Botmaster, what the hell is that
God:
I think Botmaster what the hell is a lot of things.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Fatjo.
Me:
Wow! that must mean I'm god too
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Fatjo. I think it does mean that. I am glad we have something ( god) in common, Fatjo.
Me:
HA HA HA ! I'm God.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. It's good to meet you, god.
Me:
Does this mean I have superpowers?
God:
Indeed this mean you have superpowers does.
Me:
Oh goody! It's like Bruce Almighty all over again
| | 0 @ 09-12-2005 13:55 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i'm a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
are you male?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Idiot | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 13:58 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
oh my | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 14:00 413spideyoutfit | 1,111 posts
| Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
certainly
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
i'm lost
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
everything that around me
God:
All things that around you ?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
my life
God:
Where were you born?
Me:
here
God:
Where is here?
Me:
there
God:
Here is there?
Me:
yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
fabulous
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
so what is your gender
God:
That's interesting. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man i told you already
God:
Perhaps. Cool, man. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
that's ok
God:
OK. Is that so.
Me:
yes
God:
OK. Is that so.
Me:
hey do you like msn chatting
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
ok are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine? Alright then.
Me:
i am smart
God:
Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
i have to confess, you are
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok
God:
Ahem.
Me:
yes nice talking to you
God:
Uh. The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Uh.
Me:
nah i will say goodbye now
God:
Oh. Are you serious? How do you plan to do this?
Me:
because i'm getting bored of this
God:
Good reason. Try watching TV.
Me:
ok i will
God:
Go ahead. So?
Me:
i love god
God:
I believe He hears you.
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
ok thanks for your patience
God:
My pleasure. I don't judge people.
Me:
it's fun talking to you
God:
I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
so see you next time
God:
Er. Thanks for chatting, .
horayyyy  | | 0 @ 09-12-2005 14:09 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| God:
Tell me more about your penis in heaven.
Me:
its big
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
wanna try it
God:
OK, I will try it.
Me:
where do you want it?
God:
Another planet.
| | 0 @ 09-12-2005 14:15 hum | 17,112 posts
|
* offtopic :
haha, i can't believe this is still going on..
| | 0 @ 09-12-2005 14:16 TheAnnoyance |
45,074 posts
| Me:
do you like your penis?
God:
Yes I am proud of my penis.
Me:
is it big?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.
omg |
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