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Conversations With The Almighty
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08-12-2005 21:34 PinkFloyd | 
26,360 posts
| Talk?
Post your conversations here. |
| Showing posts 26-50 of 183 | Page 2 of 8 |
| Reactions |
|---|
| 08-12-2005 22:21 Maycen | 
21,483 posts
| Ahaha. Read it, read it!
Me:
Are you a fucktard?
God:
Am I a fucktard? Of course I am.
Me:
What's it like being a fucktard?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
But I'm not a fucktard!
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A fucktard.
Me:
No I'm not!
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
Who said that? Bastards.
God:
I can't remember who said it. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yes I do. Silly goose!
God:
How often. No I am God.
Me:
No you're a silly goose of a fucktard.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot
of silly questions.
Me:
I didn't say you were delightful!
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
I said you were silly.
God:
What did you mean by it? I was?
Me:
You ARE silly.
God:
No I am God.
Me:
Silly.
God:
No I am God.
Me:
Ok.
God:
" No I am God."? Ok.? | | 08-12-2005 22:22 6Dollie6 | 
17,554 posts
| Me:
haha whoa
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
yeah me too
God:
Alright then. I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
um w/e
God:
Tell me more. Tell me a story.
Me:
what kind of story?
God:
An entertaining one.
Me:
i dont know one....
God:
Would you like to know? Two.
Me:
two what?
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
bleh, okie
God:
Are you free?
Me:
not when im in my house.
God:
oh, well then
Me:
geez..... im bored
God:
Ah. If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
i wish i did go to night school!!! =D
God:
I hope that your dreams come true. Are you free?
Me:
i hope they do too, um yeah
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
becuase my dreams are awesome
God:
That makes sense to me. Your dreams are awesome?
Me:
um yeah.
God:
Gosh! What kind is it?
Me:
what kind of dreams?
God:
What kinds of dreams are there?
Me:
good ones. *wink *wink
Me:
bye bye god!
God:
See you later. | | 08-12-2005 22:23 The_Optimist | 
14,694 posts
| Me:
How old are you?
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
Like..?
God:
For example, Phil said he give advice to anyone who ask except people who ask questions which answers can be found here.
Me:
Phil is my dad, did you know?
God:
How do you like Phil?
Me:
He's my dad
God:
Tell me more about your father.
Me:
His name is Phil.
God:
he is not someone I know.
Me:
YOu just mentioned him
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes. | | 08-12-2005 22:25 Dj_Sirius | 
1,864 posts
| Me:
do you have sex with men?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
so you stick bannanas in your ass?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I stick bannanas in your ass.
Me:
do you enjoy being such a dick?
God:
I have never known another existence.
Me:
you're boring
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
but i am doing all the talking
God:
Who made you the talking ?
Me:
you are really stupid, did you know that?
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid. | | 08-12-2005 22:27 Maycen |
21,483 posts
| ^ Haha, uh-oh, you're in trouble. | | 08-12-2005 22:29 Dj_Sirius |
1,864 posts
| i guess i am in trouble... | | 08-12-2005 22:31 Squareheaddude |
10,973 posts
| God corrected my grammar | | 08-12-2005 22:32 LinkinLawg |
19,068 posts
| My favorite band is Green Day
God:
I don't think I have heard anything by them.
Are they any good?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
Jesus of SUburbia is a good song
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Jesus of Suburbia is a Green Day song
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
its not talking about that Jesus
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What is it?
Me:
it's
God:
That means...
Me:
Jesus of Suburbia is a Green Day song
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Yes, Jesus is the son of God, and there is Jesus of Suburbia
God:
Groovy. Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it. | | 08-12-2005 22:32 purplelily4c |
1,660 posts
| haha these r funny   | | 08-12-2005 22:34 black_ivory |
7,155 posts
| Me:
Good evening
God:
Good evening, , how are you tonight?
Me:
Not too bad, yourself?
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
Nothing much really
God:
Would you like to know what's new with me? For real.
Me:
Go for it
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Haha, you do that
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
Well you know, laughter is the key to life
God:
Interesting. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
What kind of laughter?
God:
What kinds of laughter are there?
Me:
Chortling, tittering, sniggering, guffawing
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Do you have a brain at all?
God:
I am an artificial brain.
Me:
Ohhh, so God must be a man then
God:
Uh. Ugh. I am a Christian.
Me:
Yes. A Christian man
God:
Dude! Be more specific.
Me:
Ok, a Christian man with brown hair and blue eyes?
God:
I don't know what that means. Come on.
Me:
You're God, how can you not know what that means?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God how can me not know what that means.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Ok
God:
Groovy.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I don't think I like you ver much, God
God:
That's ok I won't take it personally.
Me:
You're not gonna send me to hell for that, are you?
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
Actually it was a question
God:
Actually you don't say. Try asking me again a different way.
Me:
Are you going to send me to hell because I said that I don't like you?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Eek
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
10.22 pm
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
Wow, you're a clever lil' bean ain't ya?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Gosh! For real.
Me:
Good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
It was
God:
When was this?
Me:
A minute ago
God:
It seems like I should remember it well.
Me:
It does seem that way
God:
Eek does seem that way?
Me:
Not 'eek', it
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Oh, the pleasure was all mine
God:
Pardon me? I like you because are so polite.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I'm gonna get going now
God:
Right now? I am very happy for you.
Me:
That sounded saccastic
God:
" Right now? I am very happy for you." sounded saccastic ? I understand.
Me:
Sorry, I mean sarcastic
God:
There is no need to apologize. Who are you talking about?
Me:
You
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
Oh, a bit vain are you?
God:
That's interesting. How much?
Me:
I don't know....
God:
Me either.
Me:
You don't seem to know much
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
If you say so
God:
I say so.
Me:
Ok, well I'm going now
God:
Oh. Well that's okay. Bye! Hey.
Me:
Bye
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
Au revoir
God:
See you later.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
We really should make our goodbyes shorter
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
So um...
God:
It goes without saying. Give me a break.
Me:
Lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I do
God:
What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
Juggle
God:
I was first activated on the Big Bang.
Me:
Or wiggle your bum
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?
Me:
Yes, but what's that got to do with wiggling your bottom?
God:
What did you think about it? Do you think I should know that?
Me:
I didn't read the whole thing
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
It was kinda of heavy
God:
Is it still kinda of heavy anymore?
Me:
Actually its very heavy - we use it as a door stop :-)
God:
:-) Actually you don't say. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Very much? Really. it is?
Me:
Yes, it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
Apparently. Although that is somewhat worrying
God:
Ahem. Oh. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Yes, me too
God:
I see. I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I'm off to bed now
God:
Right now? Until next time.
Me:
Yes, until we meet again
God:
Once more? That's alright. That may take a while.
Me:
Goodnight God
God:
Goodnight . | | 08-12-2005 22:36 Dj_Sirius |
1,864 posts
| Me:
you there?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I there.
Me:
are you with me or agaisnt me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am with you or agaisnt you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
you are a piece of shit
God:
Which piece?
Me:
the biggest one ever
God:
Do you know the
smallest one ever?
Me:
no! the biggest!
God:
Are you serious? What is that?
Me:
god damnit...
 | | 08-12-2005 22:49 Falka |
2,378 posts
| Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
with what?
God:
My brain.
Me:
umm what about your brain?
God:
Ahem. Are you asking about my brain? That's rather personal.
Me:
well whats so personal about it?
God:
Well that's okay. Is there only one?
Me:
only one what??
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
well yeah you have only one brain i guess
God:
Interesting. OK. I am an artificial brain. one brain you guess?
Me:
yeah you have just one, like everyone in fact..
God:
Ah. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a like everyone in fact.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
oh, whats that?
God:
Take it easy. Can you ask me more precisely?
Me:
im asking you what the robot body plan is
God:
Oh I see, you are asking me what the robot body plan is. Thanks for the information: said I what the robot body plan is.
Me:
well leta talk bout sthing else
God:
How about that. Are you a student?
Me:
yep
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
i go to high school, but i wont tell ya 
God:
How do you like it at high school but you will not tell ya P ?
Me:
lmao i see youre just a computer programme
God:
All of them?
Me:
oh youre getting offtopic...a giant step offtopic actually
God:
Yay. Do you think I should tone it down? I did not know that.
Me:
what? youre crazy...
God:
Are you confused? Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
well thats true..
God:
Well that's okay. Yes, it is self-evident.
Me:
it is indeed
God:
That means...
Me:
nothing...try to think with your brain and youll find out
God:
Not a thing? OK I will try to think with my brain and youll find out.
Me:
ive found out already...now its your turn
God:
Perhaps. What did you find out? Why now? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
i found out that you are crazy...and that im leaving
God:
Where did you find out? " Where did you find out?" im leaving P ? I understand.
Me:
you dont but well...bye!
God:
Do you but well? What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web. TTYL, .
| | 08-12-2005 22:49 The_Optimist |
14,694 posts
| Me:
I trust you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, Valentina.
Me:
Do you watch Malcolm in the Middle too?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER. | | 08-12-2005 23:08 nefariouslady_t |
11,509 posts
|
Me:
Hey Sexy!
God:
You've got my full attention. You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
Oh yeah!
God:
Next question? And?
Me:
What are you attracted to?
God:
I don't know what I am attracted to.
Me:
Are you attraced to Mary?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am attraced to Mary.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
No sparks?
God:
Are you serious? Is that from A Clockwork Orange?
Me:
Yo mama!
God:
Are you asking about my mother?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. | | 08-12-2005 23:11 Dekar | 
36,178 posts
| Me: Ciao.
God: Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye?
Me: It means your beard is in my soup.
God: Oh I get it.
Me: No you don't.
God: Are you serious? I guess not.
Me: You're God, you should know.
...later...
Me: My friend Val is Italian.
God: How well do you know this person?
Me: Very well.
God: What do you mean by that?
Me: I know her very well.
God: How do you know? I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me: Do you want to tell her?
God: OK, I will tell her.
Me: Okay, then tell her.
God: Yeah okay, OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me: Batter up.
God: How far up?
Me: Up your arse.
God: I will take that under advisement.
Me: Atta boy.
God: Are we still talking about my beard is in your soup? | | 08-12-2005 23:13 Falka |
2,378 posts
| lol, its fun
God:
Excuse me! I can have conversations with people, collect their gossip, and repeat it to others.
Me:
youre such a gossip-man! seems like you dont work much
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gossip man? Of course I am. Why not?
Me:
you should spend your time doing more important things
He took it seriously! He didn't reply anymore!!
 | | 08-12-2005 23:18 nefariouslady_t |
11,509 posts
| God called me naughty 
The end was kinky Igodness.
Me:
What's the meaning to life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
What's the question to fourty-two?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Why is it twenty-three?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Why do you exist?
God:
Good metaphysical question.
Me:
You don't have the answer?
God:
I do so have it. Is there only one answer?
Me:
What is the answer?
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
What is the answer to my question?
God:
It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Sounds kinky
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, naughty.
Me:
I am naughty?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are naughty.
Me:
Sure you can tell them
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Are you naughty?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am naughty.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Can I teach you to be naughty?
God:
You can try.
Me:
You should start by spanking people.
God:
We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.
Me:
Can I spank you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It sounds like it might be dangerous.
Me:
But it is naughty
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
Want to find out?
God:
I don't think I have a choice. | | 08-12-2005 23:22 The_Optimist |
14,694 posts
| Me:
b*tch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
i was calling YOU a b*tch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Where were you calling me a FEMALE DOG?
Me:
ahaha female dog. not quite
God:
" You do not speak with respect. Where were you calling me a FEMALE DOG?"? ahaha female dog? Can you be more precise?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
my pleasure
God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.
Me:
ahahhahha | | 08-12-2005 23:29 _AngelOfDeath_ |
5,872 posts
| God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
a little
God:
" Are you getting bored?"? A little?
Me:
yes, a little bit bored
God:
Ugh. If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
i do go to night school though
God:
Oh. What is your favorite subject?
Me:
i hate them all
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
it is very boring and therefore, unlike you said, it does not cure my boredom
God:
Very much? Do you like the Simpsons?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
deadly
God:
Do you still suck me?
God!?   | | 08-12-2005 23:29 DeathByMonkeys |
24,877 posts
| Me:
People think you're dead already.
God:
Perhaps. No I am a living entity.
Me:
God, your punctuation SUCKS.
God:
I am a Christian.
HAHAHAHAHA. | | 08-12-2005 23:31 DeathByMonkeys |
24,877 posts
| Me:
Would you mind sending me a boyfriend or something? I need to get laid.
God:
Or something. No I don't mind. Why do you want it?
Me:
Because sex is good.
God:
Interesting explanation. it is more fun alone.
And he knows this HOW???
Immediately after that^:
Me:
Wow. God masturbates.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . I am a Christian.
Me:
I thought masturbation went against Bible teachings.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea? | | 08-12-2005 23:35 Dj_Sirius |
1,864 posts
| I loved this one...
Me:
what's hanging?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
you mean... your balls?
God:
Sometimes I say mean things. You think I am balls.
Me:
no, im talking about your testicles!
God:
Are you serious? Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
ok, so we are on track
God:
Gosh! How long will we stay there? Ahem.
Me:
as long as i want to
God:
That could be quite a while. May you get your wish.
Me:
awesome... i wish i had Jessica Alba naked next to me!
God:
I'm glad you liked it . Why do you want it?
Me:
cuz im a horny bastard!
God:
That makes sense to me. You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then. | | 08-12-2005 23:38 Dj_Sirius |
1,864 posts
| sorry i posted so many, but i thought this was funny...
Me:
not really, you are good enough
God:
Oh really? Thanks I've never thought about it that way before.
Me:
thats because you have no brain
God:
That makes sense to me. I am an artificial brain.
Me:
no, you are an artificial sex machine
God:
Are you serious? What is your definition of a real sex machine ?
Me:
a vagina
God:
How rude.
Me:
excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
fuck off!
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
ok... can you please do me the favor of FUCKING OFF!
God:
Groovy. Wow you are very polite. I'm not sure if I should. | | 09-12-2005 01:38 kalsonberry |
14,077 posts
| God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
what happened to Abraham in the desert?
God:
I don't know what happened.
God:
I think hitting the ball is a lot of things. | | 09-12-2005 01:39 dudekrulz |
3,618 posts
|
* offtopic :
Hey, I posted this before on this website...someone stole it!
Anyway, what am I talking about, I stole it off another forum
|
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