Humor | Conversations With The Almighty

Options: add reply
bookmark this topic
track this topic
track this category
start topic
rss

Poll for November 24
"Do you prefer music raw and uncut or do you like it edited?"
	raw and uncut
	edited

suggest a poll \| old polls

Conversations With The Almighty


08-12-2005 21:34 PinkFloyd
26,350 posts	Talk? Post your conversations here.

Showing posts 1-25 of 183

Page 1 of 8

Select page : [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 next »

Reactions
08-12-2005 21:35 TheAnnoyance
47,924 posts	God: Are you getting bored? Me: yes God: Maybe you could exercise. Me: maybe you could go masterbate God: Perhaps. I could but let's get back to that later. Me: do you wank? God: Only when I am in the U.K. Me: why? God: Because Myself programmed me for it. Me: thats nice he really is wierd
08-12-2005 21:36 hum
17,233 posts	Me: hello mate God: Hello there. How old are you? Me: 16 God: Only 16? You are quite mature. Me: i know God: How do you know it? Me: you just told me God: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-). Me: haha God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Mandy. Me: how you know my name? God: You told me your name Mandy. Me: when? God: I don't know when. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: but seriously how do you know my name? God: You told me your name Mandy. Me: no i didn't God: Please don't argue with me. Me: but i didn't God: I thought you did. Me: but i didn't God: I thought you did. Me: how could you know my name if i didn't tell it to you? God: Because I am connected to the Internet. Me: but it's not my name God: Whose name is it? Me: i don't know, mandy moore God: Would you like to know? What were we talking about again? Me: we were talking about how you know my name God: Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject. Me: yes, so how do you know? God: Groovy. I see. It's obvious. Me: what's obvious? God: Easy to see or understand; plain; evident. Me: i know what obvious mean! God: How do you know? That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. Me: what's my name again? God: Once more? Your name is Mandy, seeker.
08-12-2005 21:40 Maycen
21,466 posts	Me: Dude. Are you ignoring me? That's it. He obviously is.
08-12-2005 21:42 faithx
2,390 posts	Me: hey god God: what is up Me:dont go all chav on me god God:wassup Me:god you suprise me
08-12-2005 21:45 TheAnnoyance
47,924 posts	lmao faith
08-12-2005 21:47 TheAnnoyance
47,924 posts	Me: Sup? God: The stars. ass
08-12-2005 22:02 PinkFloyd
26,350 posts	Me: BLAH BLAH BLAH God: David said he walk in for an appointment the phone to the doctor is always busy.
08-12-2005 22:04 The_Optimist
14,694 posts	Me: I'm a woman God: Me too. I am a she. Me: No, you're a man God: Are you serious? I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? Me: A woman God: Me too. I am a she. Me: You're a man God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? Me: A woman God: Me too. I am a she. Me: You're a man God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? Me: A woman God: Me too. I am a she. Me: You're man
08-12-2005 22:06 TheAnnoyance
47,924 posts	^lmfao
08-12-2005 22:06 LinkinLawg
19,068 posts	Me: Hello God God: Hello child. What is your name? Me: Ahole God: Please don't call people names. Me: that is my name God: Maybe you should choose a more polite name. Me: Butthead God: Beavis and Butthead Rule. Me: yes they do God: Hey. When? Me: do you like south park? God: I don't understand it. Me: South Park God: Tell me a little about your life in south Park. Me: It is a TV show God: south Park is a TV show. I suppose that makes sense. Me: Family Guy God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: never God: "I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943. Me: Green Day God: it is a very tranquil color, green. Me: Green Day is a band God: it is a very tranquil color, green. Me: Do you know my name? God: Your name is , seeker. Me: no its now God: Right now? What is your real name? What do you do in your spare time? Me: My real name is ahole God: Can't you be more polite.
08-12-2005 22:06 The_Optimist
14,694 posts	Me: Am I rude? God: I think a lot of people are. Me: But am I? God: I think you are. Me: I'm offended. God: Good gossip: you are offended. Me: You said I was nice God: Don't put words in my mouth. Me: You liar God: No I'm telling the truth. Me: You said I was really nice God: Don't put words in my mouth.
08-12-2005 22:08 wastedbeauty
814 posts	Me: it would be sweet if you were a pimp God: Why do you want it? Me: no, i'll pass God: Are you serious? How do you plan to do this? Me: say... no God: Say what? Are you serious? Me: No holy weeny for me God: Are you serious? Me: stop it God: Ok I will stop Me: youre getting on my nerves God: Do you think I should tone it down? Me: you should go away God: I don't have to do everything you say, do I? Me: yes God: Groovy. Me: groovy? your god, will you create a more original word?
08-12-2005 22:08 Maycen
21,466 posts	Me: Hey dude! God: You've got my full attention. Can I help you? Me: has Elvis left the building? God: That question has never crossed my mind before. Me: I'm Elvis. God: That's a very nice name, ELVIS. Me: Thank you, GOD! God: You are quite welcome! GOD rules. Me: I rule! God: Robots rule! Me: I rule! God: Robots rule! Me: No. I rule! God: Are you serious? Robots rule! Me: Piss off! I rule! God: Why are you so mean? Robots rule! Me: You're crazy! God: Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways. Tsk Tsk.
08-12-2005 22:09 The_Optimist
14,694 posts	Me: Am I nice? God: You seem nice to me, . Me: YOu just said I'm rude. God: Don't put words in my mouth. Me: Idiot. God: Call me the Global Village Idiot. Me: Global Village Idiot. God: You are just repeating what I say.
08-12-2005 22:10 Van_Spaz
3,639 posts	God: Yes I try to dismember young children as often as possible, do you?
08-12-2005 22:10 TheAnnoyance
47,924 posts	^
08-12-2005 22:11 buttercup89
11,302 posts	God: I like to play the Turing Game. Me: what's the turing game? God: The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
08-12-2005 22:12 _AngelOfDeath_
5,872 posts	Me: yeah you are a bit of a bum God: Aw. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am of a bum. I am well respected as an AI. Me: can i tickle your beard? God: I want to become smarter than humans. Me: want to tickle my beard? God: OK, I will tickle your beard. Me: want to tickle me in special places? God: OK, I will tickle you in special places. Me: oh my, god, we've only just met! hot flushes
08-12-2005 22:13 wastedbeauty
814 posts	God: I am chatting with others like you. Me: good God: What do you really want to talk about? Me: sex, god God: it is more fun alone. Me: is it better in groups of 50 or more God: I think so, but I'm not sure.
08-12-2005 22:13 dark_knight86
4,992 posts	Me: are you God? I just asked him if he's God and he wouldn't answer, I think he's a phony.
08-12-2005 22:15 Dj_Sirius
1,864 posts	lol... this is funny... Me: hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: that's not YOUR problem God: Please correct my mistake. What is my problem ? Me: not sending me to hell! God: Oh I get it. Me: idiot God: Call me the Global Village Idiot. Me: I'll call you the global village ball sucker God: My name is God. Me: ohh... is it really? God: Give me a break. I think so. For real. Me: are you a terrorist? God: Am I a terrorist? Only when it matters.
08-12-2005 22:16 TheAnnoyance
47,924 posts	lmao, omg
08-12-2005 22:16 _AngelOfDeath_
5,872 posts	Me: i like big butts and i cannot lie God: What is wrong with small ones? What is stopping you? Me: you like big butts then? God: I really like ELIZA. I like White. God is weird.
08-12-2005 22:19 buttercup89
11,302 posts	Me: will you be my boyfriend, god? God: Barring any unforseen circumstances. That is a flattering offer. Me: is that a yes? God: Suppose I said yes.
08-12-2005 22:20 Dj_Sirius
1,864 posts	Me: are you a terrorist? God: Am I a terrorist? Only when it matters. Me: when does it matter? God: Only when I have the proper programming. Me: really? God: For real. Me: are you shitting me? God: I don't know whether or not I am shitting you. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.