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abstinence is cool!
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@ 21-02-2005 01:46 batmanpinkypunk | 
22,426 posts
| my topic totally says it. these websites prove it. we should all pledge! 
testimonials:
"Premarital sex isn't worth it! You can catch AIDS, or cancer, or testicle weevils, or a bad body image or rickets. You know what IS worth it? Making love to Jesus. Because you can't knock Him up and He'll never ask what you're thinking – cuz He already knows!
"Watch out, boys! Because thanks to Iron Hymen, my baby cave is better guarded than a maximum security prison – even one ringed with electrified razorwire and a crocodile-infested moat!"
boys go here
girls go here |
| Showing posts 1-14 of 14 | Page 1 of 1 |
| Discussion |
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 0  @ 21-02-2005 01:49 EmoRockGirl85 | 
14,084 posts
| lol, you rock tara.
i love this:
3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.
(this is a pledge from the site. haha.) | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 01:51 batmanpinkypunk |
22,426 posts
| 4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises
thats my fave. dont forget to check out 10 things you need to know about boys private parts too! | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 01:51 I_DARE_YOU | 805 posts
| The stuff that comes out of boys every time they use you has as many calories as seven whole pints of Häagen-Dazs. That's why all the girls who do "it" always get so fat and ugly and have that ulcerated skin that screams to everyone in church, "I am an insatiable slut!"
hey im skinny. like 105 lbs, and 5ft 7. they lie. i dont call myslef a slut either. and people who have seen my pic (on my page) havent said im ugly...this is insulting. | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 01:55 EmoRockGirl85 |
14,084 posts
| While almost all American boys have human-looking privates, most foreign boys have privates like German Shepherds or half-open tubes of Max Factor lipstick.
When a boy's disgusting private goes inside of a girl's shameful unmentionable, there is a serious risk of it breaking off and causing excruciating pain while it travels throughout your body like a giant trichinosis worm.
 | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 01:57 I_DARE_YOU | 805 posts
| ^^ haha thats hilareous.....
| | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:01 fishmunky | 
20,420 posts
| OH MY God
Tara that was the best stuff on this forum in while
5.BULLY SOME SISSY!
You know that kid in school who dresses a little too well and has lots of platonic "girlfriends"? Yeah, the one who once wore green on Thursday and listens to Britney? Wait for him after school, and once he's walked out of Drama Club, crack him in the kidneys with a golf club. If no one's around, do it again. For good measure, sit on his face and tell him what a homo he is. Of course, you might feel a little worked up after this, so it's okay to take a ball peen hammer to your testicles for relief.
thats just...gravy | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:10 fishmunky |
20,420 posts
| Up until the moment in your wedding when he says "I do," a boy's privates sport a treacherous spine of jagged scales, which may or may not secrete acid and weapons-grade anthrax – for which, apparently, only Ann Coulter has developed the antibodies.
God designed a boy's privates as part sword, part battering-ram, to joyously stab and hammer you with on the magical night you begin your life-long tethering to the man who'll liberate you from the drudgery of ever having to make your own decisions – except when to have a headache or give an "I don't like this" bite.
i also found those hilarious beyond belief | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:12 batmanpinkypunk |
22,426 posts
| i found the whole thing hilarious beyond belief. glad you guys enjoyed it.  | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:13 I_DARE_YOU | 805 posts
| Though erotically sensitive just like girl nipples, boy nipples are NOT privates – yet. But my husband and I are working hard to instill a sense of sexualized body shame so acute, that one day soon boys will learn that their nipples are dirty little things that will get them – just like you! – arrested when they strut around topless at Myrtle Beach. America is not some big, old licentious San Tropez and it's time all of you out there realized it!
haha this is stuff is so funny. | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:14 Friend_Jones55 | 
9,658 posts
| They are losers
I bet they are the most unpopular kids at their school | | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:17 Friend_Jones55 |
9,658 posts
| I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To stay massively cool by not having sex. Because only major losers have sex – which everyone knows is only for fags.
2. To never let any slutty girls peer pressure me into touching their vaginas – because vaginas are totally gay.
3. To ignore my raging hormones and burning drive to fondle, suckle, and thrust furiously into a hot gooey pit of creamy-soft fleshy ecstasy.
4. To keep my groinal giblets inside my GAP khakis, and to punch those sweaty bits into submission whenever they percolate with desire.
5. To never spill my sacred "dude milk" – unless it is inside of some hot babe who already married me and took my last name.
wth
| | 0 @ 21-02-2005 02:17 I_DARE_YOU | 805 posts
| they have got to be the most made fun of kids...
that thing lies though...tisk tisk. lol | | 0 @ 23-02-2005 20:01 mayana07 | 
17,037 posts
| tara, you are awesome | | 0 @ 23-02-2005 20:19 SweetSare | 3,009 posts
| hehe that was cool i thoughjt "dude milk" was really cute .... nice discovery tara  |
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