from the moment i met u,
i knew we wer ment 2 b
i kno u felt it too
we're da same in evry way
u were there 4 me
thru evrything, evry sting, evry bite
i kno u'll see
me thru evry fite
ill go beyond limits 4 u
i kno u'll do the same 4 me
ur neva far 4rm my mind
ill care 4 u endlessly
i rote these lines
coz ur soul matches mine.
every word u say is a little jolt to my heart,
every thought in my head shouts out your name,
my heart breaks while we're apart,
every breath in ur lungs is a tiny little gift to me.
My mind races when i hear ur voice,
ur an endless picture in my mind,
my heart faces an endless battle to tell you how much i love u,
we're two of a kind.
Just saying 1 word to u brightens my day,
seeing your face shines a light through my eyes,
this is all i wanted to say,
I dont want to hide behind lies..
i luv u
u say u do too
but all that is - is a lie,
u dont mean a single word u say,
m just a face in d background..
calling out ur name
but u don hear me..
i luv u
u sed u did too
how did those words go to waste?
on my own again
in a wasteland of nothingness.. a barren land
boredom, emptiness, lonliness.. sad n alone
lost the ppl who cared for me
lost the ppl who i care for..
in this battlezone..
on my own again..
in my bubble of self loathing and hate
no one knos me
no one cares
no one knos the person inside the ugly exterior
beauty is only skin deep
why dont u look alittle further?
i loved u
n i stil do
but m wounded..
stick a knife in me..
break all my bones
crack my skull, crush my lings
nothing will hurt me more..
than this pain
i'm bleeding inside
ur killing me
302 comments, showing 301 to 302page 13 of 13
So, I haven't posted in here for wow, three years almost. I have written things in that time but at some point, people stopped posting things like poetry on here and stopped commenting. But anyway, I wanted some feedback on a couple of poems. Criticism etc is welcome! I'm not really sure what I think of them myself but any feedback would help. Thanks =).
Sounds of the Aurora
I see blue-green lights shimmering,
Effervescent in the fog,
Inexplicable and otherworldly.
My heart pulses at the sight,
Throbbing within me,
And I imagine the blood rushing Through my veins, my arteries,
Fuelling my spirit.
And my stomach drops at the sound,
And I tingle,
Lost in the crescendo,
In the beauty that rips the heart out Of me.
Sounds of another universe,
Draw me in like ignis fatuus, marsh lights,
And sweep me away,
Only to let me float
Into the cold glimmering lights
Of the aurora.
The air was wrent with a scream
Only we could hear;
Fragments - burning, melting glass,
Twinkling in the dusk,
Spinning out of control - too fast -
To capture the moment
Burnt on your caramel skin.
Float down onto our
Scars only we can see.
But it hurts too much.
I like your word choice and the descriptions you use. I could easily picture the scene you were describing, well, at least in the way my mind was portraying it.
I am not sure your true intent, but for me, the first one kind of made me think about a lost soul or something entering "the light." The second one, felt like people caught in a fire?
I liked them. Most of the time when ppl (usually newbs) post their poems, they're about some squishy love scene, or, they're some hate poem about the angry broken heart. I liked the fact yours aren't. Well, I guess they could be, but not overly so if that were the case.
- more "Poetry" topics
- active topics
- new topics
It was bound to happen. • 53 comments Until it came to you- first poem in a long time • 11 comments The Poem Corner! • 1,960 comments Short Stories • 57 comments rate my poem :-) • 3 comments Addict • 3 comments No Turning Back • 0 comments Opinion On This Poem :) • 4 comments Be Expressive! • 1 comment Let me Save you • 0 comments Randomness Is The Answer #182 • 561 comments Fantasy Football 2015 • 1,487 comments The Last TV Show You Watched • 937 comments one-word-story #3 • 3,981 comments Q And A Game #5 • 1,235 comments Front End/Back End • 3,435 comments This Or That Game #2 • 923 comments Name A Country Or City #2 • 1,820 comments Word Association #7 • 4,243 comments Have You Ever Game #2 • 742 comments I don't stand on ceremony • 6 comments LetsSingIt's Pointless Quiz #45 [Prize week!] • 24 comments Months looking for the title of this song • 3 comments Warning of length for member names on sign up • 7 comments Randomness Is The Answer #182 • 475 comments Friends Invitations • 16 comments Tags in Messages • 2 comments Windows phones • 9 comments Forum Awards 2015: Results • 97 comments Not receiving Email Notifications [solved] • 7 comments